Falling for someone I've lied to online

[Sam-9876]

About 6 months ago I started exploring my sexuality by talking to other people my age online (that's not an invitation btw). I "met" lots of people, including this one particular guy. We got on really well, had a lot in common, and we talk at least once a week, often more. There's also been a fair bit of late night sexting between us too.

It turns out he lives in the next town to me, so if we wanted we could meet up for real, which would be amazing.

But the problem is that because I was scared about who I might meet online I lied about my name and where I live - he thinks I'm called something else and that I live in a totally different part of the country.

Should I tell him I've been lying to him? How on earth do I do that without making him hate me? Or should we just stay as online "friends with benefits"?

Don't want to hurt him, but don't want to lose him either :(

[thetransylvanianguy]

You may tell him that you've been hiding your identity to 'protect' yourself from parents who could see your online activity. You should tell him you are terribly sorry,that you apologise to death,and that you want to be friends with him. Should you need any further advice,I am eager to give help...

[Starsong]

Lying about your name is no big deal really.
Same goes for location, if you really wanted to you could say you're visiting his part of town (if you're comfortable with more lying).

I don't think he'd hate you, that's probably you overreacting. Good luck with whatever you choose to do (:

[JacobIN]

If he cant respect what you've done, there isn't much you can do. HE will probably take it a bit harsh at first, which would be understandable, but if he does give it time. He will probably understand.

[James Dean]

First of all, be extremely careful of yourself. You do not know this person away from the internet, so just please stay safe. Online/Offline or otherwise.

Second, really think about deciding to actually meet in real life. Being friends online is great and understand why you want to do this. I know supposedly you been associating with this person online for quite some time which is good, but that's still not enough sometimes. If your gut feeling is telling you that it is isn't right, then it probably isn't. Go to a public place, tell at least two people family/friends where you are going, when you leave and expect to be back, and make sure it's during the day if possible.

Nothing wrong with using a fake first name and it might actually be a good idea depending on the situation. You can always say it was a nickname or explain the details should you get to that point.

Best of luck to you. :)

[Body odah Man]

As someone whose done the same many times all I can say is: depends on the person. Some will shrug it off, others will rage.
Some will smile; others will glare.
Some will giggle; others will break off all contact
Either way trust will be lsot so be wary

[Becca029]

ive done it too

[aalleexx]

I think you can tell. And if he will be angry, tell him that your safety comes first and he should understand you!

[Desuetude]

Lying about basic information like that is obviously just meant as a safety net and I'm sure he'd understand that. The fact that you're open and feel comfortable enough with him now to tell him your real name/location shows that he's gained your trust. Just explain to him the reasons you lied and that everything else that has been said/has happened between you has been genuine. If he cares about you then he'll be willing to accept that and accept that you want to move forward with there being no major lies between the two of you.

[SethfromMI]

You may tell him that you've been hiding your identity to 'protect' yourself from parents who could see your online activity. You should tell him you are terribly sorry,that you apologise to death,and that you want to be friends with him. Should you need any further advice,I am eager to give help...

this. it is not uncommon and it is likely he would understand. if you do meet, make sure the first meeting is a public one, just to be safe

[Wyatt 13]

Be safe is the first stuff man He will understand

[DoodleSnap]

First of all, be extremely careful of yourself. You do not know this person away from the internet, so just please stay safe. Online/Offline or otherwise.

Second, really think about deciding to actually meet in real life. Being friends online is great and understand why you want to do this. I know supposedly you been associating with this person online for quite some time which is good, but that's still not enough sometimes. If your gut feeling is telling you that it is isn't right, then it probably isn't. Go to a public place, tell at least two people family/friends where you are going, when you leave and expect to be back, and make sure it's during the day if possible.

Nothing wrong with using a fake first name and it might actually be a good idea depending on the situation. You can always say it was a nickname or explain the details should you get to that point.

Best of luck to you. :)
^^^This is very important. Safety must come first.
Anyway, I think that if you want to meet him, and things turn out well, you would be best to tell him the truth. If he accepts it, then it is a win-win. If he doesn't, just let him have the space he needs, and make sure he understands enough to make a decision about the relationship.

[TredOut]

You could just say the truth that you didn't want to give away your personal info to people online.

[Thunderstorm]

Just tell him the reason you didn't want to give your real name and location. I would have done the same thing. If he really cares about you, he would understand why you lied in the first place.

[vboy]

U should always be weary with people u meet online. Alot o sickos out there. Possibly on this sit, for all we know