Where do u draw the line?

[collapsing_rain]

Hey guys, just wanted to ask where do you think is the boundary between your guy best friend/bro and a gay relationship. In terms of your emotional feelings-like how much do you think abt the person and how much do u care abt him? And also physical contact- is kissing and beyond still acceptable for very good friends in your opinion? Thanks!

[Omniscient]

In my opinion, if you are getting emotionally invested with him, then it would be more than just best friends. You could also just call it a friends with benefits thing if you just like the physical stuff.

But when it comes down to it, it's up to you to decide when it "turns gay" for lack of better words.

[Hudor]

That's a good question actually. I guess as far as the emotional part goes I consider no line between the best friend and the boyfriend. I guess the distinction would be for me, by only the romantic and sexual stuff. Otherwise I guess the closeness level with both would be almost the same.

[Zachary G]

for me it depends on whether or not the emotional feelings that I have are reciprocated or not. If the feelings I have are only one way, then it would be just a very close friendship and I would draw the line there with no physical/sexual contact. But if the feelings are returned then there would be no line as far as sexual contact would be concerned and that is probably where it would progress from being just friends to friends with benefits, unless the friend wanted to commit.

[Starsong]

Hey guys, just wanted to ask where do you think is the boundary between your guy best friend/bro and a gay relationship.


For me personally, I wouldn't be doing stuff with my best friends. I love them to bits, but I don't feel attracted to them. Some of them just aren't my type, but I have one best friend who is really attractive and we're practically the same person, so I think it would be weird really.



In terms of your emotional feelings-like how much do you think abt the person and how much do u care abt him?


Referring to my previous one, I guess I think about him quite a bit. We talk all the time so yeah, it's kinda hard not to. I love and care about him so much, in a platonic best friend way.



And also physical contact- is kissing and beyond still acceptable for very good friends in your opinion? Thanks!


I think this varies for different people. I know people who do this, and it's happened to me before but I try and avoid it. Some people will find it weird and other people will tell you that it's normal and that they do it a lot, as long as it's consensual then go for it (:

[collapsing_rain]

Thanks everyone your replies really helped out!

[Pablo]

Anything physical would still be good friends to me. However when emotions get involved, it turns into more than that.

[Becca029]

no not really a hug maybe

[Descene]

I can't speak from experience as far as cisman and cisman friendship, but I know between "bros" is more awkward than between girlfriends as it's often more accepted to be really close. Me, I draw the line right at dating/making out/anything past that, but I'm extremely close with my guys and girls, even friendly kissing. I don't think there's a problem with caring, just as I said, it tends to be problematic when it actually becomes a romantic relationship, feelings you/they/you both can't get passed. I have friends who have crushed/ are currently crushing on me as well as friends I have crushed on and I think as long as you guys can still be cool with that it even enhances the friendship. There's a certain caring and loyalty that is often unmatched by just friendly caring and loyalty. But it does really take chillness to make it work. I've had that happen a lot in the past that it becomes a nightmare if things change between you two and it isn't the same friendship you enjoyed before.

[Oligarchy]

Your relationship turns specifically romantic when your feelings shift. It's hard to explain, but simple to experience.
Even without touch (i.e. LDRs), you can feel your relationship turning more romantic. Your respect for the other person turns into something more resembling admiration. You want to feel the warmth of them, to pour your entire soul into theirs. It can be a bit exhilarating and a bit exhausting.
Reciprocity is also part of the equation.

[Atom]

This is just social boundaries and a human desire to affiliate yourself with one social group or another and doing the same with other people.
Try not having friends, family, enemies, lovers etc., but just "relationships". Then you will know where to "draw the line" with every particular person.
This advice is definitely not for everyone though...

[SethfromMI]

well my best friend is gay and when I am not in a relationship we will have sex and do stuff together. otherwise, we stick to just being best friends

[Andrew.1]

well I personally have no line what ever happens.

[collapsing_rain]

Thanks! I could really relate to some responses

[DoodleSnap]

I personally would say that a relationship (regardless of gender) becomes romantic when both partners feel that they love each other, romantically. It's hard to explain, but I think it has to do with the way in which affection is shown and returned. I don't think that making out or sexual stuff would make it anything more than a friendship (it could maybe be "friends with benefits"?), whereas cuddling, kissing, etc, plus the reciprocated affection, is what makes it romantic.