Scared of relationships

[Redrocket]

Hi I am scared of having a relationship I don't know how to explain it but I got dating anxiety I been burnt allot and I just have a fear that a girl don't like me. My ex who I had feelings for a long time still has feelings for me and she wants to get back with me but I am afraid and scared! She says that she wants to spend her entire life with me and for the first time in great life to commit to one person only. The reason her mans I broke up was because she didnt see me hardly and she felt like I didn't want to be with her and she foun someone else

But She occasionally cheats on her current boyfriend with me because she is unhappy with him and he is abusive towards her. He keeps her up all night and spends most of her money and acts like an ass towards her. When she sleeps he goes through her phone contacts and texts them pretendin to be her saying nasty messages and deletes them so she don't find out and when she wants time with her family or friends he throws a temper tantrum just because he can't get his own way!

Okay back to the afriad part I am afraid of her mom and dad because they for forbittid me to hang with her a long time ago but they don't know the whole story idk if they would listen to me and I am afraid of her friends causing the pain as I once felt by breaking her and I up I want her ack allot and I love her lots to

[Thunderstorm]

I can relate to you a lot. I am also scared of commitment. The thought of being stuck with someone for the an extended period of time is quite daunting. However, I managed to get into a relationship and I'm happier than ever. I'm sure you will be too, as it seems you are with this girl. Just put your commitment anxiety aside and focus on loving her.

That's very sad about her current boyfriend. Although I do not think it is necessarily right for her to cheat on him with you, if you make her happier and she makes you happy I guess it's alright. If her parents knew what that guy does to her, they would like you so much more. He doesn't deserve her, and it seems like you love her. You shouldn't care about her friends, they aren't in your relationship with her. Just focus on her and your relationship with her.

[DeadPoteto]

My advice to you is that you get your ex to break up with her current bf. If he's abusive she should leave him. You don't have to commit or be together right away, you can just hang out and be happy with what you're comfortable with

[Starsong]

You should probably try and get her to sort out her life first. As someone who cares for her, try and talk to her about breaking things off with her current boyfriend because that's extremely unhealthy for her to be involved in.

It sounds like you just have commitment issues, which isn't uncommon. Just do things slowly and if things work then they do, if they don't then there are other people out there.

[maniamsmart]

Okay, so you are afraid of relationships in general because of your anxiety. But you are afraid of getting into this specific relationship because of her parents and her friends, right?

It's pretty clear that both of you want each other, but to be quite frank with you, there isn't anything you can really do. As for the issue with the parents, how long ago was this? Maybe they have forgotten, gotten over it, or forgiven it. With her friends, she needs to explain to them that they need to learn to forgive and forget because holding grudges isn't healthy. And for her current boyfriend, she needs to break up with him. I think she needs to come on here to ask for more advice than she does :P Have you tried telling her to break up with him?