When is it one sided?

[Waleedbt]

Okay, i may have a relation... But its not really one.. I guess.
I understand relationships are really hard to maintain, keep it going and such. Ive never been in any in a "decent" way.

Now to my title, and the whole subject.
Lets say you are in and its sexual, but you are the only one actually doing stuff, acting upon it, making it going, being passionate. But the other is just stiff, still wants it, but really stiff, i can see it, i notice it, they never speak, you finish the thing they wanted you for that day and never talk again for a couple of days. And doesnt really want to "hangout" but only wants to meet when the person has the urge, in other sense horny.


Then telling them happy new year in a lengthy text but reply in such a way that they are in a hurry, and ofcourse after a couple of hours that it doesnt mattrr anymore. But me as th person still make it work, have it going, trying, we even say we love each other but i dont see it anymore.

Weve been "together" for well over 5 years now, which makea it even harder to leave. So now you realise that me as a person im sucking it up and making life go on, without taking action cause i know ill miss the person. Is this one sided? Have you been in any relationship that was ? And if so how did you react?


I wrote this on my phone, please forgive me for any spelling errors or weird sentences. :p

[Waleedbt]

I know what you might say, friends with benefits? But that still doesnt justify it, as i need to be touched, i wish to have the warmth feeling of someone.

If you ever pm i could tell you in better detail as im scared to say more :/ the only im writing anything here is because i respect all VT people, you guys are the best to talk to.

[SethfromMI]

it definitely sounds one sided on an emotional level. you got to understand, many guys see sex just as sex. when I am not dating, I have sex with my best friend who is gay. he is my best friend, we hang all the time, got a great bond, but when it comes to sex, it is just sex.

it sounds like though you are giving and not getting much in return. a healthy relationship does not work that way. me and my gf both give and take. that is how a relationship works.

i would try to talk to him, but if he is unwilling to listen or change, it is time to consider someone one else. if you want to talk more but want it more private, you can pm me. best of luck to you

[Waleedbt]

it definitely sounds one sided on an emotional level. you got to understand, many guys see sex just as sex. when I am not dating, I have sex with my best friend who is gay. he is my best friend, we hang all the time, got a great bond, but when it comes to sex, it is just sex.

it sounds like though you are giving and not getting much in return. a healthy relationship does not work that way. me and my gf both give and take. that is how a relationship works.

i would try to talk to him, but if he is unwilling to listen or change, it is time to consider someone one else. if you want to talk more but want it more private, you can pm me. best of luck to you

Thanks for replying man.
I guess talking would be good, the thing is that we dont consider it a relationship, just good friends, kinda like your situation with your friend, but the thing is if i say no, he will drop all our friendship and acts like a complete different person, which also would kill me as we are very close.

It seems like i needed to talk about it, to actually get it, its very confusing i know and it all started when we were young and curious, the thing grew and here we are xD , and the other thing is we only see one another a couple days a years as we both left home to study abroad.

(Last time i said no, the person was outside my house at 12 am not giving up, all for his desires)

Yeah its a weird situation, even though we are both straight i guess i need something also, and we never do anything like sex, just jo or bj. So technically i guess thats whats fun for a dude... That i have to know xD, the only time i get over this thing, is probably getting a gf.

[SethfromMI]

Thanks for replying man.
I guess talking would be good, the thing is that we dont consider it a relationship, just good friends, kinda like your situation with your friend, but the thing is if i say no, he will drop all our friendship and acts like a complete different person, which also would kill me as we are very close.

It seems like i needed to talk about it, to actually get it, its very confusing i know and it all started when we were young and curious, the thing grew and here we are xD , and the other thing is we only see one another a couple days a years as we both left home to study abroad.

(Last time i said no, the person was outside my house at 12 am not giving up, all for his desires)

Yeah its a weird situation, even though we are both straight i guess i need something also, and we never do anything like sex, just jo or bj. So technically i guess thats whats fun for a dude... That i have to know xD, the only time i get over this thing, is probably getting a gf.

that can make it even harder man. but if he is going to stop being your friend just because you do not give him exactly what he wants than he does not seem like a true friend to me

[maniamsmart]

Does seem very one sided. I do for a fact know that regardless if it's a relationship or a friendship, both parties should be fair to each other. It seems like the other person is just very unfair towards you. You'd like to be closer to that person, but that person doesn't. If you aren't happy you should tell that person.

[DeadPoteto]

I had a similar situation, but my relationship didn't last as long (we were together for a year). I tried making it better, but when it didn't work, I broke it off. It's better for the both of you. You can't expect that she's happy in one-sided relationship either. I know it's gonna hurt, hurt a lot, but eventually will get better