Coming out to…

[Coolguy10890]

As a New Years thing for 2015, I've decided to express and be myself of who I am, and a part of that was to come out little by little. Tonight I had come out to my parents… they didn't care, but they had warned me that I shouldn't go around & tell everyone cuz of homophobic people out there. I understood that part. But I also felt like they were saying like, to not tell anyone. And that makes me feel like I can't be who I truly am. Because they were telling me about their friends who were gay & never publicly told a group of people & stuff like that and how they lived alone… and they were telling me this because they didn't want me to get judged or bullied by anyone. But, not telling anyone, isn't that hiding in the shadows still, and not expressing yourself? So what do I do???

What is ur guys opinions on this? (And PLZ say ur honest opinion, don't say "do what u want." I really wanna know your opinion, and how would I be able to express myself, without getting hated on? Or at least HORRIBLY BULLIED, like my parents are describing to me.)

P.S. I posted a Poll, I wanna know if u guys had been bullied or made fun of or not because u are LGBT etc or not.

[phuckphace]

But I also felt like they were saying like, to not tell anyone. And that makes me feel like I can't be who I truly am.

you can't "be who you truly are" unless you tell everyone who crosses your path that you're gay? that makes no sense. your sexuality is not the center of your existence and is only a small part of who you are as a person. everybody has their secrets. as a gay dude in the closet, here's my advice: keep it to yourself and instead focus on being a good friend to those you know, and be that someone that they can depend on and trust. if you want to be known for something, be that friend first and don't worry about coming out, it'll save you years of misery down the road. and like me, you'll probably find that it's far more rewarding.

[Foamy]

I'll get the "do what you want" out there now, because thats how you should do it. How and when you want.

But anyway, I would suggest a mixture of both. Don't go around and flaunt that you're gay, but be yourself. If you act flamboyantly (unfair stereotype I know, but I act like that anyway) then do it. If people ask you, answer honestly. And if you get shit for it, ignore it. Those people who give you shit aren't worth your time. If bullying occurs and becomes constant, alert higher ups (teachers or administrators at school, authorities if need be). From my experiences living here, CT is fairly liberal, so I don't think you will have many problems. I hope things go well! ^.^

[phuckphace]

homophobe bullies are people too, guys. instead of flashing my junk at them I decided to befriend them instead, and it's been a blast. I know they suspect that I'm gay given that I've never had a girlfriend and I'm not interested in getting one, but even the redneck bigots treat me with respect because I behave normally and don't rub it in their faces.

ever been MUDDIN'? yeehaw!

[Coolguy10890]

More replies would be nice. Thank you for replying.

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

Conversations when I come out to someone:

Me: I'm gay.
Person: Really?
Me: Yes.
Person: OK.
*pause*
Person: So did you do the math homework last night...

[Becca029]

i just told my mom i like girls and boys

[Descene]

Nope, never. I don't broadcast it though. I'm more active in the community, I live in a very LGBTQA-friendly town. But the only people I came out to in the traditional way were my parents. Otherwise, I'm just myself and don't talk about it unless prompted. I have never been insulted other than by internet trolls.
Coming out to my mom:
I was shaky and teary-eyed. Finally I said it.
"Oh, that's it? I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant or something by how upset you are. That's okay, hun. All cool."
My mom and dad wear rainbow bracelets in support of my sister and I.

[JustNathan]

When I came ot to people, mostly they were like "Oh okay." *Pause.* "So how was your day?" which makes me glad because they don't have a problem with it. My parents and brother, however, think I'm too young to know. Oh well, it's basically just them 3, MAYBE a few others as well, that I know that don't accept my sexuality.

As for you coming out, just slip in topics about GLBT people in conversations casually. That way you can get a feel of their view of the subject. Probably just come out to your close friends first, who will help with others to have them accept you, if that is what you choose to do.


Also, if you want to live a happy pleasant life, people WILL have to find out. As for when you want to, it is ultimately up to you. Even though your parents don't want you to, if you still feel like you should/want to tell others, try a few people at first. Make sure these people will not tell your parents.

But in any case, take some time to think about how each method would work for you.
I hope this helps. :)

[Magenta]

I tell anyone who wants to know that I'm queer. Honestly, I have pins on my bag that say I'm queer. My Tumblr account says that I'm queer. My Facebook clearly states my preferences and I'm not trying to flaunt it, I'm just being honest (and trying to crush the general assumption that I'm straight).

If people want to make fun of me? Fuck 'em. It's none of their business and they're not the sort of people I want to be around. I don't listen to the bullies and never have. There are worse things to bully me about that I'm actually insecure about. My sexuality is not one of those things.

I was a bit nervous to tell my parents initially. I cried but not because I thought my parents would react badly. I had heard so many horror stories that even though I knew my parents would be accepting, I had the nagging thought that just maybe... but nah, all was good.

[Thunderstorm]

I think your parents are right. I just came out recently and my parents were a bit upset but okay with it, however they think I'm still questioning myself and not quite gay. That's not true but either way, they had a point when they said don't tell everyone in your school or in public in general that you're gay. Keep it close and concise. It can affect your future, getting a job, health insurance and etc. I haven't encountered much bullying but I also have only told my parents and a few close friends. So, I think you can still be yourself like me without being overly public about your sexuality.

[cookiemonstermatt]

As a New Years thing for 2015, I've decided to express and be myself of who I am, and a part of that was to come out little by little. Tonight I had come out to my parents… they didn't care, but they had warned me that I shouldn't go around & tell everyone cuz of homophobic people out there. I understood that part. But I also felt like they were saying like, to not tell anyone. And that makes me feel like I can't be who I truly am. Because they were telling me about their friends who were gay & never publicly told a group of people & stuff like that and how they lived alone… and they were telling me this because they didn't want me to get judged or bullied by anyone. But, not telling anyone, isn't that hiding in the shadows still, and not expressing yourself? So what do I do???

What is ur guys opinions on this? (And PLZ say ur honest opinion, don't say "do what u want." I really wanna know your opinion, and how would I be able to express myself, without getting hated on? Or at least HORRIBLY BULLIED, like my parents are describing to me.)

P.S. I posted a Poll, I wanna know if u guys had been bullied or made fun of or not because u are LGBT etc or not.

I'm starting to do that too. It's scary sometimes. I haven't talked to my parents yet but my brother knows. I don't have any real advice.

[Karkat]

I've been given shit for being trans* and queer, but in the long run, I've gotten way more support, and that's what counts. Do what feels right to you. :)

[SethfromMI]

the one smart butt who made a remark got punched by one of my friends on the football team (not that I needed him to). most people who know I am bi don't give it a second thought. i am lucky in that sense