F Life

[Lovelife090994]

Fuck it. I am ready to die. I am constantly hurting, my opinions are unpopular, I hate all humanity, I am paranoid and trust no one, and I have nothing to show for my life. I'm ready to die but have no clue how to end it. All I do is feel dead, talk about it, get shot down, repeat, comment, get shot down, repeat. I can't convey my feelings and I hate everything now. Whoever said life is good was only speaking for themselves. Life sucks but more than that it is never-ending torment. Adolescence didn't make sense, I have no idea who or what I am and I hate what I see in the mirror and I hate

the skin I have to sleep in. I just want to go away and have tbe world leave. No one loves me and I'm unlovable. I feel like a psychopath a.d sociopath, maybe I am. Nothing makes sense anymore. I cry every hour and want to bleed everyday. Nothing I do is enjoyable and everything I do I never am happy doing. My family hates me and I can have no peace.

I have no hope, no friends, no future. And I'll never have anything with my
mind and beliefs. I'm ready to throw in the towel. Life and love are meaningless to me and love is fallacy. The only way to be happy nowadays is to be the popular one who's gone through Hell and rose to the top. Me, I'm not that person at all. I am going to fall... My sanity already did so now I am falling with it. I say one thing I get pounced on. I lie to agree and I'm liked? Nope. Can't do it. Besides I already hear the voices. The world wants me dead and is plotting my murder. I have to beat them to it. Even people online want me dead.

[qwfoi]

Man, I was almost going to type in "I feel you" but after reading it again I clearly don't. That's the deepest thing I've ever read. The people that say you should be dead should be dead themselves. I can't control you, but if I were you I'd cling on; try to preoccupy myself and find something you maybe enjoy? You can be anything. The only boundaries you have are the ones you set yourself. Try to keep your light burning, though it may be flickering. Please...

[Lovelife090994]

Man, I was almost going to type in "I feel you" but after reading it again I clearly don't. That's the deepest thing I've ever read. The people that say you should be dead should be dead themselves. I can't control you, but if I were you I'd cling on; try to preoccupy myself and find something you maybe enjoy? You can be anything. The only boundaries you have are the ones you set yourself. Try to keep your light burning, though it may be flickering. Please...

I can't. I don't like anything and am unraveling. I just want to die. I'll never trust people or have friends.

[amgb]

Hi Christopher, I know I'm a complete stranger, and you probably think that I'm just going to be uttering empty words to you, and you probably don't trust me or anyone for that matter. But I want to let you know that every time I try to help someone I mean every word I say, and I want to help you. I know you feel absolutely terrible and lifeless right now, but I reckon that you coming to post your feelings and let them out is a really good thing because you're crying out for help. I don't believe for one second that you are unlovable. I believe you are a good hearted human being who deserves many good things but just feels trapped in the cycle of misery and self loathing. And I know you want to escape. Trust me I've been there many times and it is one of the most horrible things to suffer. I believe that you can stay strong and hold on. You probably don't believe that, but I think you do have hope in you. I just need you to keep that hope, yeah?

[Lovelife090994]

Hi Christopher, I know I'm a complete stranger, and you probably think that I'm just going to be uttering empty words to you, and you probably don't trust me or anyone for that matter. But I want to let you know that every time I try to help someone I mean every word I say, and I want to help you. I know you feel absolutely terrible and lifeless right now, but I reckon that you coming to post your feelings and let them out is a really good thing because you're crying out for help. I don't believe for one second that you are unlovable. I believe you are a good hearted human being who deserves many good things but just feels trapped in the cycle of misery and self loathing. And I know you want to escape. Trust me I've been there many times and it is one of the most horrible things to suffer. I believe that you can stay strong and hold on. You probably don't believe that, but I think you do have hope in you. I just need you to keep that hope, yeah?

I wish there was a way I could rip everything off of me and reprogram everything to be how I wish. I feel dead and can't trust people. Even here, fights, fights, fights.

[amgb]

I wish there was a way I could rip everything off of me and reprogram everything to be how I wish. I feel dead and can't trust people. Even here, fights, fights, fights.

There is no way to rip everything off you and reprogram everything to be how you wish it to be, but there are so many ways that you can build a stronger you and make changes so that things can be how you wish it to be. You cant control everything in your life, and that can be so frustrating and irritating, I know. And there are many things we simply can't change, but there are also many things we can change. Fights; I absolutely hate it when I get into fights, especially when I get the blame for starting it or when my opinions get judged. I think you should just do your part, and if people don't like what you think or how you think then that's their problem, they really need to respect you for being you. We all make judgements but most of the time we can't accept the negative ones. And when we get hurt I say that we need to put it out there and let others know that it's not okay to show disrespect~

[Lovelife090994]

There is no way to rip everything off you and reprogram everything to be how you wish it to be, but there are so many ways that you can build a stronger you and make changes so that things can be how you wish it to be. You cant control everything in your life, and that can be so frustrating and irritating, I know. And there are many things we simply can't change, but there are also many things we can change. Fights; I absolutely hate it when I get into fights, especially when I get the blame for starting it or when my opinions get judged. I think you should just do your part, and if people don't like what you think or how you think then that's their problem, they really need to respect you for being you. We all make judgements but most of the time we can't accept the negative ones. And when we get hurt I say that we need to put it out there and let others know that it's not okay to show disrespect~

You make it sound easy. My judgments confound me and go against popular opinion. I get insane, bloodthirsty, and maniacal when I argue. I am three people in one.

[amgb]

You make it sound easy. My judgments confound me and go against popular opinion. I get insane, bloodthirsty, and maniacal when I argue. I am three people in one.

Yeah it's definitely easier said than done. Just because it goes against popular opinion doesn't mean it's lesser in value, your opinion still matters. And I agree that people can go all out when arguing their opinion, I'm like that a lot (just not online, but I'm like that all the time at home). If telling someone to start respecting you doesn't work the next step I'd do is to ignore them. You've done what you can. Again, easier said than done. But if something is hard to do it just means you need to constantly tell yourself that you can do it, hard doesn't mean impossible~

[Lovelife090994]

Yeah it's definitely easier said than done. Just because it goes against popular opinion doesn't mean it's lesser in value, your opinion still matters. And I agree that people can go all out when arguing their opinion, I'm like that a lot (just not online, but I'm like that all the time at home). If telling someone to start respecting you doesn't work the next step I'd do is to ignore them. You've done what you can. Again, easier said than done. But if something is hard to do it just means you need to constantly tell yourself that you can do it, hard doesn't mean impossible~

I'm pretty messed up in the head... Will anyone be okay with that?

[amgb]

I'm pretty messed up in the head... Will anyone be okay with that?

I'm okay with it. It's okay to be messed up. Im pretty messed up too, in my own stupid ways.

[jssixna]

Hey Christopher. How have you been since you posted this thread? Have things gotten better or worse? I pray that everything gets easier and well. Don't lose hope for life because I believe everyone has a predestined plan in life whether it's short or long term. Life may suck now but It will get better and even though you don't want to endure the time forward, try your greatest effort not to give up. If you have suicidal thoughts I urge you to seek help because your life means a lot and this is coming from a stranger. If I didn't care about this, I wouldn't have posted at all! Anyways I don't know if our words really impacted you but I really hope everything goes great. I love your username btw. :)

[Leprous]

Hey Christopher. How have you been since you posted this thread? Have things gotten better or worse? I pray that everything gets easier and well. Don't lose hope for life because I believe everyone has a predestined plan in life whether it's short or long term. Life may suck now but It will get better and even though you don't want to endure the time forward, try your greatest effort not to give up. If you have suicidal thoughts I urge you to seek help because your life means a lot and this is coming from a stranger. If I didn't care about this, I wouldn't have posted at all! Anyways I don't know if our words really impacted you but I really hope everything goes great. I love your username btw. :)

Well, marb here, just letting you know that his account is frozen so he can't actually reply, but I can forward this to him if you want. Sorry for the totally random reply but yeah