Am I too picky?

[DairyFarmer]

What's new guys? Other than we're minutes from having a whole new year upon us...... So I just had to reject a girl lately for moral reasons, meaning she had had sex before. Basically for me, she has to be a virgin, can't be an active drinker, she has to be religious, as I am, and she has to be at least somewhat good looking. I'm by no means a tool, I'm just really picky because I don't want to be dating someone that I will have to worry about. So my question is, am I too picky in my choices? The reason I don't like the sex thing is because I'm a die hard christian, so that basically means for me to be with her would be a sin, and that's a thing I like to avoid the most..... Don't be afraid to share your opinions! :D

Oh, forgot to add this..... I'm not very lucky with women at all..... Whatsoever...... I usually get rejected, and it's quite frequent, I keep count. I'm on #18.

[Horatio Nelson]

I'm a Christian too, and I think you are far too harsh. Last I checked you won't be struck down by lighting for being attracted to someone who isn't a virgin.

[DairyFarmer]

I'm a Christian too, and I think you are far too harsh. Last I checked you won't be struck down by lighting for being attracted to someone who isn't a virgin.

I'm not saying just being attracted, I'm saying being with them would be a sin.

[Horatio Nelson]

I'm not saying just being attracted, I'm saying being with them would be a sin.

How so?

I don't think that's something you should stress out over too much, because in the end, there is grace. But I don't want to talk religion since this isn't the topic of this thread.

[DairyFarmer]

How so?

I don't think that's something you should stress out over too much, because in the end, there is grace. But I don't want to talk religion since this isn't the topic of this thread.

Actually it somewhat is because that contains my boundaries when it comes to girls. The way adultery is addressed in the bible, if she were to already to have committed adultery, and I were to marry this girl, I would have committed adultery by having marital sex with her. Get it?

[kartik]

Just try to be genuine and get a girl of your type.

[Saint]

that sounds like more of a job requirement then expectations to me. don't get me wrong,we've all got expectations,but how would you effectively know if she's even a virgin before dating anyway? asking someone straight up if they're a virgin probably won't be sending any good signs to them.

[Body odah Man]

What's new guys? Other than we're minutes from having a whole new year upon us...... So I just had to reject a girl lately for moral reasons, meaning she had had sex before. Basically for me, she has to be a virgin, can't be an active drinker, she has to be religious, as I am, and she has to be at least somewhat good looking. I'm by no means a tool, I'm just really picky because I don't want to be dating someone that I will have to worry about. So my question is, am I too picky in my choices? The reason I don't like the sex thing is because I'm a die hard christian, so that basically means for me to be with her would be a sin, and that's a thing I like to avoid the most..... Don't be afraid to share your opinions! :D

Oh, forgot to add this..... I'm not very lucky with women at all..... Whatsoever...... I usually get rejected, and it's quite frequent, I keep count. I'm on #18.

Do you need to be with a virgin as a Christian? I thought it was just that you yourself needed to be a virgin until marriage. Also, as for your specifications, they are very very hard for a girl to meet. Most drink, few are religious and many have had sex before.

[Dortmund]

It's fairly picky. You need to ask yourself how many girls at your age, 18, are going to be religious, virgins and not drink alcohol. The answer is very few.

There aren't many people who fit that category so you've left yourself with very few options girl wise.

[randomuser123]

1. Surely a nice and loving God would want you to forgive her, not condemn her and reject her because of her past actions?
2. Are you honestly judging her based on her past rather than who she really is?
3. If she wants to drink alcohol, then let her. If you can't deal with it - take your overly-controlling backside elsewhere - you probably don't deserve her!
4. Are you really that old fashioned that you want to control what a potential girlfriend does and has done in the past - even though it has absolutely no effect on you?
5. I would understand if she was a raving alcoholic, since that could pose both an emotional and physical threat to you, but you are just implying she likes a beer sometimes - what is really wrong with that, if she doesn't do anything wrong when she has drunk?
6. If you really do insist upon being such a self-righteous little ****, then take comfort in the fact that while this life will probably be miserable and without love, there is a small chance that there is a wonderful afterlife, in which you can sit on God's right hand with Jesus and listen to him preach all day long about how obnoxious and sinful the rest of humanity are being - I am sure you would enjoy that!

I think that you will be hard pushed to find a girl who is meek enough to comply with your every wish, and who is a virgin, and who loves you (or at least claims to). In my humble opinion it sounds like you don't deserve the girl you have at the moment - you should probably break up with her and save her the hassle in the future (God would want you to make her life easier like that I am sure).

Maybe you should work on making yourself perfect, before everyone else? Anyway, if God truly loves you, he will send you a perfect girl eventually won't he?


Apologies for my rant, but this really is one of the reasons why I despise organised and evangelical religion - it's refusal to update itself to a modern era of equality and freedom.

No offence intended - unless you are one of these people who is honestly that controlling and misogynistic!

[Emerald Dream]

I wouldn't word it as "picky," but rather "limiting your options."

Saying that you are unlucky with finding prospective partners when you are eliminating them from your dating pool voluntarily - that's a lot more than luck involved.

I know that everyone wants someone who is perfect for themselves, and a soulmate, in the long run. You never know though - the person who is best suited for you and has the potential to love you the most, and treat you like you are everything to them - they may not be a virgin (or have another quality you find questionable). True perfection when finding someone is probably next to impossible, to be honest. But if you allow feelings to be there with others, then they can very much surprise you. :)

[Leprous]

Oh religious people, I have nothing against you, but sometimes you guys have to think about the fact not everyone around you has to do what your 'god says is right'.

In my opinion you're way too harsh, imagine finding a perfect girl, but you find out she's not religious, would you simply leave her be? You claim to be rejected all the time even though you reject girls all the time aswell. Doesn't make allot of sense.

As I said before I have nothing against religious people do keep your pants on and don't freak out my dear VT'ers.

[TheLoneWolf]

Being religious and no drinking seems fine as a standard.
But why would she have to be a virgin? I think you are too picky on that aspect.

[red.astrix]

Youre being a little tough.

[DairyFarmer]

Being religious and no drinking seems fine as a standard.
But why would she have to be a virgin? I think you are too picky on that aspect.

Read my third post.

Oh religious people, I have nothing against you, but sometimes you guys have to think about the fact not everyone around you has to do what your 'god says is right'.

In my opinion you're way too harsh, imagine finding a perfect girl, but you find out she's not religious, would you simply leave her be? You claim to be rejected all the time even though you reject girls all the time aswell. Doesn't make allot of sense.

As I said before I have nothing against religious people do keep your pants on and don't freak out my dear VT'ers.

No, not everyone has to do what god says is right, but it's kind of recommended if you want to make it to heaven.... And no, if she's not religious, it's not like she can't change that, she can easily.

1. Surely a nice and loving God would want you to forgive her, not condemn her and reject her because of her past actions?
2. Are you honestly judging her based on her past rather than who she really is?
3. If she wants to drink alcohol, then let her. If you can't deal with it - take your overly-controlling backside elsewhere - you probably don't deserve her!
4. Are you really that old fashioned that you want to control what a potential girlfriend does and has done in the past - even though it has absolutely no effect on you?
5. I would understand if she was a raving alcoholic, since that could pose both an emotional and physical threat to you, but you are just implying she likes a beer sometimes - what is really wrong with that, if she doesn't do anything wrong when she has drunk?
6. If you really do insist upon being such a self-righteous little ****, then take comfort in the fact that while this life will probably be miserable and without love, there is a small chance that there is a wonderful afterlife, in which you can sit on God's right hand with Jesus and listen to him preach all day long about how obnoxious and sinful the rest of humanity are being - I am sure you would enjoy that!

I think that you will be hard pushed to find a girl who is meek enough to comply with your every wish, and who is a virgin, and who loves you (or at least claims to). In my humble opinion it sounds like you don't deserve the girl you have at the moment - you should probably break up with her and save her the hassle in the future (God would want you to make her life easier like that I am sure).

Maybe you should work on making yourself perfect, before everyone else? Anyway, if God truly loves you, he will send you a perfect girl eventually won't he?


Apologies for my rant, but this really is one of the reasons why I despise organised and evangelical religion - it's refusal to update itself to a modern era of equality and freedom.

No offence intended - unless you are one of these people who is honestly that controlling and misogynistic!

Hold on a second, how can I be controlling if I'm not even dating anyone? If I find that they're drinking while talking to me or dating, I just up and leave, I don't try to control them. Two completely different things bud. And you must not have read my whole post, because I said I just got rid of the last girl, so that means that I'm not with anyone?

In response to #6..... That was unneeded. I'm not self righteous. I am god-fearing, thank you very much. No need for that attack, I would appreciate you to tone it down.

And #2. Ever heard of "the past predicts the future"?

#4. No, no, no, no. NO CONTROL. I just leave them go if I find something out.

Do you need to be with a virgin as a Christian? I thought it was just that you yourself needed to be a virgin until marriage. Also, as for your specifications, they are very very hard for a girl to meet. Most drink, few are religious and many have had sex before.

No, if I have marital sex with a person who's already had sex, then I would have just committed adultery.

[Foamy]

While I respect your Christian faith, I would most definitely say that you are a tad picky. Should it matter how many times someone's had sex? No. Should it matter if someone likes to drink? No. Should someone's personality stand out as more important? I would say so. Think of it this way, you're unlicky because you willingly single out the possibly good ones, like Alli said above. You're not going to fall in love with someone's virginity or drinking habits. You're going to fall in love with them as a person.

[Body odah Man]

Read my third post.



No, not everyone has to do what god says is right, but it's kind of recommended if you want to make it to heaven.... And no, if she's not religious, it's not like she can't change that, she can easily.



Hold on a second, how can I be controlling if I'm not even dating anyone? If I find that they're drinking while talking to me or dating, I just up and leave, I don't try to control them. Two completely different things bud. And you must not have read my whole post, because I said I just got rid of the last girl, so that means that I'm not with anyone?

In response to #6..... That was unneeded. I'm not self righteous. I am god-fearing, thank you very much. No need for that attack, I would appreciate you to tone it down.

And #2. Ever heard of "the past predicts the future"?

#4. No, no, no, no. NO CONTROL. I just leave them go if I find something out.



No, if I have marital sex with a person who's already had sex, then I would have just committed adultery.

Seriously?? That counts as adultery?? Well there go my dreams of ever having sex seems like :(
Thanks for the warning man

[Leprous]

Forcing someone to be religious? *sighs* you peopl confuse me.

[DairyFarmer]

Forcing someone to be religious? *sighs* you peopl confuse me.

Never said forcing. You said it, not me.

[Allbutanillusion]

Are you as judgmental about everyone you meet, or just the ones you date?

As a christian I am surprised a little by your comments/attitude.
remember....John 8:7 "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." I find it hard to believe that you are without sin.

Also I would agree with nerddigestive...

"Surely a nice and loving God would want you to forgive her, not condemn her and reject her because of her past actions?"


Just something to think about. Taken all into account..Yes, you are to harsh.

[phuckphace]

As a christian I am surprised a little by your comments/attitude.
remember....John 8:7 "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." I find it hard to believe that you are without sin.

I agree completely. here is the context:

…(3)The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, (4)they said to Him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. (5)Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?"

if Jesus himself was willing to forgive a woman who was literally caught with her hand down another man's pants, then I think you can find it in you to do the same. you're coming across as extremely arrogant and holier-than-thou which you are in no position to do given the number of times you yourself have sinned in the past.

I'm not saying you should drop your religion or even that wanting to marry a virgin girl is a bad thing. it's just that you can't very well read what's in the Bible if you're too busy beating other people over the head with it. take the plank out of your own eye first, and then worry about the mote of sawdust in others' eyes.

[Straya]

I'm not saying just being attracted, I'm saying being with them would be a sin.

i agree with everyone if you truly believe the girl you want still exists in this day and age then you will live a very lonely life trying to find perfection where it dosent exists and also considering that a huge part of Christianity is ment to be about forgiveness for past sins sounds like your contradicting your own religion by not forgiving them for there past sins, just saying

[Waleedbt]

I don't think Op is harsh, maybe judgemental, but honestly, if you are a virgin, drinker .. Etc , then you deserve someone like you as a SO.
The religion part confuses me, thats you forcing someone. You have to let that thing go, practice yours and let her does hers, god is not going to judge you for what she is doing, everyone is judged on his own doing.

[DairyFarmer]

I don't think Op is harsh, maybe judgemental, but honestly, if you are a virgin, drinker .. Etc , then you deserve someone like you as a SO.
The religion part confuses me, thats you forcing someone. You have to let that thing go, practice yours and let her does hers, god is not going to judge you for what she is doing, everyone is judged on his own doing.

Jeez. I never said forcing. What is up with you people?

[Waleedbt]

Jeez. I never said forcing. What is up with you people?

Okay , not forcing xD , dont know how i said it, it just seemed like it in some way.

[DairyFarmer]

Okay , not forcing xD , dont know how i said it, it just seemed like it in some way.

No, I said she has the choice to either become a christian or not.

[DairyFarmer]

i agree with everyone if you truly believe the girl you want still exists in this day and age then you will live a very lonely life trying to find perfection where it dosent exists and also considering that a huge part of Christianity is ment to be about forgiveness for past sins sounds like your contradicting your own religion by not forgiving them for there past sins, just saying

You.do.not.get.it. If I were to marry her, per say, I would be committing sin knowingly, and I would have to accept that. It's one thing to ask for forgiveness for a sin and try not to do it again, but for me, I would be committing sin outwardly second after second.

I agree completely. here is the context:



if Jesus himself was willing to forgive a woman who was literally caught with her hand down another man's pants, then I think you can find it in you to do the same. you're coming across as extremely arrogant and holier-than-thou which you are in no position to do given the number of times you yourself have sinned in the past.

I'm not saying you should drop your religion or even that wanting to marry a virgin girl is a bad thing. it's just that you can't very well read what's in the Bible if you're too busy beating other people over the head with it. take the plank out of your own eye first, and then worry about the mote of sawdust in others' eyes.

Jesus forgave her. Yes. But if I were to be with her what would that make me? That would put me at her level, even though I had not committed adultery beforehand. I'm coming off arrogant? Because I'm trying to be morally correct in my life? Who are you to say that, as you are an atheist? Maybe you should read what else I've said rather than just read the first post and comment.

[BDOG]

You say you will only date a virgin... what if a girl was raped? Will you reject them over that? Are you trying to say they are sinners?

Anyways, to answer your question, You're way too harsh, you shouldn't want a virgin because you think if that they're sinners and it makes you commit adultery, THATS TERRIBLE. GOD UNDERSTANDS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US AND YOU NEED TO Think in their perspective. Love is all that matters. Love is about accepting others baggage and overcoming life's obstacles together. Not bashing them and forcing your views on them. Jesus drank wine SO HOW IS ALCOHOL WRONG? Your really not thinking about the bigger picture, there can be so many circumstances in why these things happen, put yourself in others shoes and walk around for awhile.

[DairyFarmer]

You say you will only date a virgin... what if a girl was raped? Will you reject them over that? Are you trying to say they are sinners?

Anyways, to answer your question, You're way too harsh, you shouldn't want a virgin because you think if that they're sinners and it makes you commit adultery, THATS TERRIBLE. GOD UNDERSTANDS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US AND YOU NEED TO Think in their perspective. Love is all that matters. Love is about accepting others baggage and overcoming life's obstacles together. Not bashing them and forcing your views on them. Jesus drank wine SO HOW IS ALCOHOL WRONG? Your really not thinking about the bigger picture, there can be so many circumstances in why these things happen, put yourself in others shoes and walk around for awhile.

So what if it's terrible? It's the truth. Read the ten commandments, sir. And I have dated girls that have been raped. I never said drinking alcohol was a bad thing, I said being a drinker was, meaning getting drunk often, which is mentioned in the bible.

[Waleedbt]

On my older post , i have to know this, OP are you a virgin? How are you sinning for being with someone who does stuff like that, i mean okay look at it this way, what if you could change her, make her a better person, isnt that the best a human can do? Think of it, you dont need to date her if you dont want to. You can be picky, it is your choice, as it will be yours again when you get to marry someone ( this is worded wrong but you know what i mean ) .
I understand where you are coming from, as being raised in an arab culture where girls are virgins till marriage, not able to date also, and if you ever marry one and she doesnt turn to be a virgin, you can get a divorce as soon as you want as we consider women being a wife and mum, etc as a mans honour. And as a man yourself, you would understand how much honour is a big factor as it is whats a man left with after he is dead.

Even though i was raised in such way, i still will have a gf of any religion, a virgin or not. At the end of the she is my girl friend for now, maybe we will fall inlove later, but thats a different story. Yes i am aware of what im saying, ive always thought a girlffriend is someone you would love, but turned out as someone you want to be with, be there as company. Chances of me marrying her is high, but there are factors that come before anything like that is initiated, and if i ever marry someone like her, i dont care, cause its love, my friends are telling me otherwise though.

[BDOG]

So what if it's terrible? It's the truth. Read the ten commandments, sir. And I have dated girls that have been raped. I never said drinking alcohol was a bad thing, I said being a drinker was, meaning getting drunk often, which is mentioned in the bible.ADULTARY IS PRE-MARITAL SEX, OR HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE WHO IS MARRIED. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH having SEX WITH SOMEONE WHO ISN'T A VIRGIN WHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY THIS?

[Leprous]

Every single reply here sames to be saying the same thing, yet OP is still not accepting anything anyone is saying.

OP, you are way too harsh, that's the truth here. If you want a good girl perhaps you should accept them for who they are. You claim to have trouble finding a girlfriend but you also said you have dated girlS who were raped. Which means you already dated several girls. OP, I think you need to accept the fact not everyone is religious, and that people who drink and aren't virgins aren't sinners.

[Saint]

You asked for the opinion of others and they gave it to you,I'm not sure honestly why you seem to get worked up. it's honestly your choice into whoever you choose to date,so i'm not sure why other people are trying to convince you either.

[Leprous]

ADULTARY IS PRE-MARITAL SEX, OR HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE WHO IS MARRIED. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH having SEX WITH SOMEONE WHO ISN'T A VIRGIN WHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY THIS?

Buddy I think you forgot to turn your caps lock off. Calm down man.

[BDOG]

You asked for the opinion of others and they gave it to you,I'm not sure honestly why you seem to get worked up. it's honestly your choice into whoever you choose to date,so i'm not sure why other people are trying to convince you either.He asked yet he's not accepting any of our opinions, he's just saying he disagrees and doesn't even explain why.

Buddy I think you forgot to turn your caps lock off. Calm down man.
I just don't like criticism. I am however open to constructive-criticism.

[Saint]

He asked yet he's not accepting any of our opinions, he's just saying he disagrees and doesn't even explain why

Opinions are meant to be heard though,he doesn't have to agree. acknowledging them is his choice.

[Leprous]

He asked yet he's not accepting any of our opinions, he's just saying he disagrees and doesn't even explain why.


I just don't like criticism. I am however open to constructive-criticism.

Just told you to calm down, no need to rage on a thread. I've seen threads go horribly wrong so let's all stay calm.

[BDOG]

Opinions are meant to be heard though,he doesn't have to agree. acknowledging them is his choice.Indeed, but if he's not going to try and understand what were saying, that what is the point in asking what we think?

Just told you to calm down, no need to rage on a thread. I've seen threads go horribly wrong so let's all stay calm.I know, I just don't like it when people reject women for reasons like this.

[Emerald Dream]

Even though I may disagree with his reasons for limiting his dating options, I don't think DairyFarmer is forcing his religion on anyone else in this thread. Yes, religion is something that influences him, but rather than try to help him constructively or diplomatically - some of you have seen a few words about religion and zeroed right in on it to attack.

Yes, I disagree - but wow. People are so quick to jump on someone. This isn't advice or help at all. He has a right to his beliefs.

[Arsenalfan123]

I'm not religious but how is it a sin to be with someone who isn't a virgin.
Also most people drink alcohol so that's not that bad.
At least where I live probably less than 1% of my generation are religious

[Emerald Dream]

Alright, folks - I've deleted a few posts that have continued to attack the OP because he dared to mention that religion was a factor when he wanted to date. Seriously....this isn't ROTW and it's not a place for religious arguments. The OP made this thread seeking advice, support, or at least somewhat of an understanding. If you disagree, that's fine. However, please stop trying to provoke or continue a needless argument, especially in the H&A sections. That's obviously not what the OP wants.

[randomuser123]

The OP made this thread seeking advice, support, or at least somewhat of an understanding. That's obviously not what the OP wants.

I apologise for trying to provoke an argument, but the OP asked for our opinions. Surely the aim of this forum isn't just a place where people come to seek their ego being stroked and to be agreed with. The OP will dislike us whatever we say, as long as we disagree with his point of view - that tends to be the nature of religion!

So, to the OP - I am very sorry and think you are a perfectly rational human being!

[DeadPoteto]

I'm a Christian to, and I wanted to be a virgin util marrige, but I fell. I think you're being too harsh. I mean, if she'll be the one, she'll wait for you. I mean we're all human, we all have mistakes and weaknesses and we all sin. To sin is human, to forgive is devine.

[phuckphace]

You.do.not.get.it. If I were to marry her, per say, I would be committing sin knowingly, and I would have to accept that. It's one thing to ask for forgiveness for a sin and try not to do it again, but for me, I would be committing sin outwardly second after second.

and Matthew 5:27-28 says that anyone who has ever looked at a woman lustfully (that includes you, don't deny it) has already committed adultery with her in his heart. WELP

Jesus forgave her. Yes. But if I were to be with her what would that make me? That would put me at her level, even though I had not committed adultery beforehand.

"at her level", eh? you're just as sinful as she is, buddy. I'd bet my left arm that you've looked at porn and thought about seeing your female friends naked. so what does that make you?

I'm coming off arrogant? Because I'm trying to be morally correct in my life?

no, there's nothing wrong with having and trying to maintain good morals. it's just that you're going about it in an extremely hypocritical and cherry-picking manner. do you mean to tell me that a girl who once screwed a couple of boyfriends in high school is permanently stained and untouchable for the rest of her life, even if she converts to Christianity, begs forgiveness for her sins, and leads a faithful life for the rest of her days? sounds like BS to me.

Who are you to say that, as you are an atheist?

don't even go there. I was raised as a Christian and am extensively familiar with what the Bible says. even my mom, who makes Phyllis Schafly look like an atheist, would disagree with you wholeheartedly here. just because I'm an atheist doesn't mean I can't have morals or appreciate Biblical morality.

my main point, though, is that the Bible teaches that man is fallen and inherently sinful, which is why Christ died for us. I don't believe it says anywhere that His forgiveness only extends to certain people.

[DairyFarmer]

and Matthew 5:27-28 says that anyone who has ever looked at a woman lustfully (that includes you, don't deny it) has already committed adultery with her in his heart. WELP



"at her level", eh? you're just as sinful as she is, buddy. I'd bet my left arm that you've looked at porn and thought about seeing your female friends naked. so what does that make you?



no, there's nothing wrong with having and trying to maintain good morals. it's just that you're going about it in an extremely hypocritical and cherry-picking manner. do you mean to tell me that a girl who once screwed a couple of boyfriends in high school is permanently stained and untouchable for the rest of her life, even if she converts to Christianity, begs forgiveness for her sins, and leads a faithful life for the rest of her days? sounds like BS to me.



don't even go there. I was raised as a Christian and am extensively familiar with what the Bible says. even my mom, who makes Phyllis Schafly look like an atheist, would disagree with you wholeheartedly here. just because I'm an atheist doesn't mean I can't have morals or appreciate Biblical morality.

my main point, though, is that the Bible teaches that man is fallen and inherently sinful, which is why Christ died for us. I don't believe it says anywhere that His forgiveness only extends to certain people.

Committed adultery in his HEART. Not physically, eh? That's what I'm after, sir. And yes I will go there. The point of Christianity is to have morals so we can be Christ-like (hence the word christian). So for you to sit there as an atheist and tell me that I shan't be able to follow other with the same morality is completely hypocritical even contrary to the fact that you say that it doesn't mean that you do not have morals, which I mean if you're an atheist, and not trying to be christ like, what does that mean? Did I say she wasn't forgiven? No. Don't put words into my mouth.

Here's another quote from Matthew. Chapter 19 Verse 9

"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

I have never seen porn, sir. And because I've thought those things, it doesn't mean I have committed adultery, it means, I would have committed it in my heart, meaning that I technically have not committed adultery, seeing it as I actually never committed the act.

I suggest you not respond, or "My Anger Will Be Arounsed...." Proverbs Chapter 22 Verse 24.

[randomuser123]

DairyFarmer - would I be right in thinking that you would be happier if we all just agreed and said that what you did and do is a perfectly rational and Christian thing to do?

If so, guys, to make this guy feel better - I think we should all just stop arguing and agree. We cannot win, since he will spew quotes from his ever-self-contradicting Bible at us until he is blue in the face, even if they aren't really relevant and don't make sense in the context!

[phuckphace]

Committed adultery in his HEART. Not physically, eh? That's what I'm after, sir.

that verse is implying that both the physical and mental act of adultery is equally sinful.

So for you to sit there as an atheist and tell me that I shan't be able to follow other with the same morality is completely hypocritical even contrary to the fact that you say that it doesn't mean that you do not have morals, which I mean if you're an atheist, and not trying to be christ like, what does that mean?

you're going to have to rephrase this because I'm not quite sure what you're getting at. it would also help if you calm down, since I'm not here to dump on your faith and I happen to enjoy moral and philosophical discussions like this one.

Did I say she wasn't forgiven? No. Don't put words into my mouth.

but from what you're saying it sounds like she'd only be "kinda-forgiven." but the Bible makes it pretty clear that our sins are washed away by accepting Jesus as our savior. why do you think they refer to conversion as being "born again" into a new life with Christ? your past sins are erased and forgotten, according to the Bible.

And because I've thought those things, it doesn't mean I have committed adultery, it means, I would have committed it in my heart, meaning that I technically have not committed adultery, seeing it as I actually never committed the act.

I'm sure that's what you tell yourself at night. as I said, Christ acknowledged the old commandment "You shall not commit adultery," and then took it a step further by condemning lust as equally sinful. "But I say to you, whoever looks at woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart." you're trying to get off on a technicality when Christ made it clear that there isn't one. whether you only think about sticking it in, or actually stick it in, it's the same thing to Him.

I suggest you not respond, or "My Anger Will Be Arounsed...." Proverbs Chapter 22 Verse 24.

I'm shaking like a leaf! but seriously, calm down. you're being belligerent for no reason. I happen to like Christians, even if they don't always like me back.

[SethfromMI]

well I would say so. I mean I can understand for religious reasons and that is totally your choice. but maybe your being a bit picky

[Allbutanillusion]

I apologise for trying to provoke an argument, but the OP asked for our opinions. Surely the aim of this forum isn't just a place where people come to seek their ego being stroked and to be agreed with. The OP will dislike us whatever we say, as long as we disagree with his point of view

This is a good point. I drew attention to this issue when the Rep system was still implemented(some of you may remember that) And partially because of my argument they discontinued the Rep system.

Some advice to OP.... if you ask for other peoples opinions, be open minded enough to at least consider the opinions of others.. You don't have to agree 100% but realize that there is some truth in what they are saying and that they are trying to be helpful( most are at least)

As a christian, I apologize to the other posters, this is not indicative( or it shouldn't be) of most Christians(at least not the ones I know)..and this OP seems to just want some validation of his views/behavior and his ego stroked.

[Whight]

I think it's your prerogative to be as picky as you want. But you should realize that with all those standards, it'll be hard for you to find an exact match. Either make compromises somewhere or be ready to be alone for some time.
I do find trouble with the fact you keep exchanging girls like they were jeans you test out in a store. I hope you're not leading any of them astray. You should probably start having a conversation with the girl before you even start dating her, instead of dating and then realizing she's not up to code.

I'll steer clear of the debate regarding religion as it's not my place to make any assertions.

[Gumleaf]

To answer your question, you are being too picky. You see, only Jesus is perfect, the rest of us aren't and will never be. The number one thing that God calls us to do is to love one another, and that includes accepting others who have sinned (remembering we ourselves sin also). By rejecting someone because they have previously sinned isn't showing the love that God has called us to have for others.

When I was in high school I dated a non Christian girl. Part of the dating experience was for us to accept each other for who they are and love each other. We would also do things together that the other enjoyed. So every Saturday I would watch her play netball (I see you're American, you might need to google netball) and she would come to church youth group with me and church on Sunday. By dating me she got to experience church and God that she wouldn't have otherwise. God brings people into our lives for a reason and in this case I felt like she was brought into my life to make me a better person and so I could help her to be a better person and experience God too.

You know, I was once told a story about a guy who went overboard on a boat. And he cried for God to help him. Over the coming minutes a helicopter came to save him, but he said 'It's ok, God is going to save me. Then another boat came, and he said the same to the people on the boat. The guy ended up drowning and when he got to heaven he asked God 'Why didn't you save me?' And God replied, 'I sent you a boat and helicopter, what more do you want?'. The bible can be interpreted in black and white, but when you think about it and pray about it you find that God can be opening doors for us and we don't even realise it.

What I am saying is that love, grace and peace are the predominant requests that God puts upon us. None of us are perfect and we have to remember that. Being accepting to people and listening to what God might be saying to us to make us and others better people, is what we should be doing. By dating someone who isn't like minded can be your avenue for evangelism, like it was for me, and rather than worry about who and what sin is being committed, we're worrying more about someone's new found journey with God and how others can find God. Sin is bad, but finding ways to help others find God and walking through doors that God opens is a real blessing!

[Emerald Dream]

Locked at OP request. :locked2: