Girl-Friend?

[Horatio Nelson]

So, there is a girl, I've known her for about 4 months. She is awesome and nice. But that's besides the point, my dilemma is this; we text everyday, for practically the entire day. I see her as often as I can, which is hard during school break because of her mother. (that's a whole other thread) When we talk she says stuff to me like "You are wonderful", "you're my favorite person", and "you are so cute". Which I have no problem with, I feel exactly the same. But when I tell her I love her (because I do) she never says it back. Also, she considers me a "really good friend". :| Which in my mind, I would never say those things to just a "good friend". When I ask her, she says she doesn't really know how to feel towards me, because she "hasn't known me that long".

So the point of this, I want your guys' opinion on the situation. What do I do? What barriers do I have to break to get past the whole "I haven't known you that long"? I guess it's just hard for me because, I feel like I've already shown and told her how I feel.

Thanks in advance.

[TeenageGirl22]

I guess the best thing for you to do is tell her how you feel. Just don't say "I love you". Tell her how you like being around her. Be honest with it though. If you truly feel as though you guys have been friends long enough, then ask her out on a date or to hangout outside of school. Some girls just need more time then others.

[CosmicNoodle]

I guess the best thing for you to do is tell her how you feel. Just don't say "I love you". Tell her how you like being around her. Be honest with it though. If you truly feel as though you guys have been friends long enough, then ask her out on a date or to hangout outside of school. Some girls just need more time then others.

No, no no no. Trust me! I did that recently, it fucked shit up.


She said herself, she hasn't known you that long, it looks like you like her more than she likes you, just give it time, stay close to her and keep going as usual, give her time, let her warmnup to you and the idea of you, going I to soon will weird her out, trust me, I know, I did it recently and fucked shit up.

[Saint]

Why would you confess your 'love' to her after only 4 months of knowing her and not actually dating though? honestly she might be just flirting with you and nothing else. keeping that in mind, i wouldn't go straight onto telling her how you feel. i'd just play along with it and ask her out sometime and see how things progress from there. you seem like you're moving too fast to be honest.

[Body odah Man]

So, there is a girl, I've known her for about 4 months. She is awesome and nice. But that's besides the point, my dilemma is this; we text everyday, for practically the entire day. I see her as often as I can, which is hard during school break because of her mother. (that's a whole other thread) When we talk she says stuff to me like "You are wonderful", "you're my favorite person", and "you are so cute". Which I have no problem with, I feel exactly the same. But when I tell her I love her (because I do) she never says it back. Also, she considers me a "really good friend". :| Which in my mind, I would never say those things to just a "good friend". When I ask her, she says she doesn't really know how to feel towards me, because she "hasn't known me that long".

So the point of this, I want your guys' opinion on the situation. What do I do? What barriers do I have to break to get past the whole "I haven't known you that long"? I guess it's just hard for me because, I feel like I've already shown and told her how I feel.

Thanks in advance.

This may sound cruel but I think she sees you only as, at most, a brother and that is a barrier you can (mostly) not break. I speak from experience and I know that it hurts but in the end you have to come to terms with it.

However if it's not an unbreakable barrier I'd suggest going easy, easing off on the: 'I love you's' and let her get to know you more like she wants. Perhaps then you will succeed and win her favor. Good lucksicles!

[queenofcontrariety]

This is where you're going to have to tread the dreaded line between potential and the friendzone. Every girl has friends she dictates as friends, nothing more, but we also have the couple friends we would actually consider daring. DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE OR PUSH HER, you will scare her away and that will be very sad because you guys seem to be going decently. Girls put up a ton of walls because we know that's the only way we have to protect ourselves. Give her plenty of time and her guard should start to come down. Maybe tone it down with the serious "I love you"s for a while so she can adjust to you a little better without worrying about what you want and whether she should let herself be rushed into anything. Best of luck, keep calm and see where things take you.

[SethfromMI]

I would wait till you have gotten to know her better and see where things go form there

[maniamsmart]

Well... either two things. One, she isn't really into you yet after 4 months. Or two, she is telling the truth that she hasn't known you enough yet for 4 months. How can you tell which is the right one? By talking to her more, waiting it out, and seeing if she ends up saying she loves you too. Don't push it though and tell her how you feel as some people suggested here because she already stated that she doesn't know you that well, so you'd basically be forcing something that she isn't comfortable with.

I don't know her very well myself, so I am not sure how she reacts to when you say you love her. She could be uncomfortable and pushed back when you say it, or she could just be really not ready yet. You'd have to keep talking to her and find out.

[Horatio Nelson]

This is where you're going to have to tread the dreaded line between potential and the friendzone. Every girl has friends she dictates as friends, nothing more, but we also have the couple friends we would actually consider daring. DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE OR PUSH HER, you will scare her away and that will be very sad because you guys seem to be going decently. Girls put up a ton of walls because we know that's the only way we have to protect ourselves. Give her plenty of time and her guard should start to come down. Maybe tone it down with the serious "I love you"s for a while so she can adjust to you a little better without worrying about what you want and whether she should let herself be rushed into anything. Best of luck, keep calm and see where things take you.

Well... either two things. One, she isn't really into you yet after 4 months. Or two, she is telling the truth that she hasn't known you enough yet for 4 months. How can you tell which is the right one? By talking to her more, waiting it out, and seeing if she ends up saying she loves you too. Don't push it though and tell her how you feel as some people suggested here because she already stated that she doesn't know you that well, so you'd basically be forcing something that she isn't comfortable with.

I don't know her very well myself, so I am not sure how she reacts to when you say you love her. She could be uncomfortable and pushed back when you say it, or she could just be really not ready yet. You'd have to keep talking to her and find out.

I appreciate your responses. :)

I have asked her if she doesn't like it or if I make her uncomfortable, but she doesn't really give me a straight answer. I also asked her if she loved me too, and she said "Of course." Which, isn't a very promising response in my opinion.

I will take your advice and lay off saying things like that.

One thing I might add, is she says she likes me, and I quote "I like you even more all the time." So, maybe I am just moving too fast for her? I don't know, it's pretty confusing sometimes.

[maniamsmart]

I appreciate your responses. :)

I have asked her if she doesn't like it or if I make her uncomfortable, but she doesn't really give me a straight answer. I also asked her if she loved me too, and she said "Of course." Which, isn't a very promising response in my opinion.

I will take your advice and lay off saying things like that.

One thing I might add, is she says she likes me, and I quote "I like you even more all the time." So, maybe I am just moving too fast for her? I don't know, it's pretty confusing sometimes.

Hmm... does seem rather confusing but yes, it could be very true that you are going too fast and perhaps she isn't fully ready for anything like that yet. Perhaps talk to her about boyfriends, if she ever wanted one, or if she ever had one. Would be good to understand her more in that field.

[Horatio Nelson]

Well, she straight up said she doesn't want a relationship. There was a lot of confusion on my end, I thought she felt different. So I told her I couldn't just be friends. At which point she completely cut me off. I guess it's for the best. :|

[queenofcontrariety]

Well, she straight up said she doesn't want a relationship. There was a lot of confusion on my end, I thought she felt different. So I told her I couldn't just be friends. At which point she completely cut me off. I guess it's for the best. :|
Awwww I'm sorry, well atleast it was entertaining while it lasted and you found out before you got even more heavily invested... I mean if you can see yourself being a friend to her at a later date you can always try but it isn't worth hurting yourself emotionally. Keep your chin up, we all hit strides and we hit black ice from time to time. You learned some valuable lessons through all this and can apply them to situations you're in at a later date. It pays t find the positives

[Horatio Nelson]

Awwww I'm sorry, well atleast it was entertaining while it lasted and you found out before you got even more heavily invested... I mean if you can see yourself being a friend to her at a later date you can always try but it isn't worth hurting yourself emotionally. Keep your chin up, we all hit strides and we hit black ice from time to time. You learned some valuable lessons through all this and can apply them to situations you're in at a later date. It pays t find the positives

Yeah, it sucks, but I think it's better like this.

Thank you, I really appreciate all of your replies. :)

[maniamsmart]

Yeah, it sucks, but I think it's better like this.

Thank you, I really appreciate all of your replies. :)

I hope you'll be able to get over it, and move on. I know you'll find someone better that will love you like you love them :)

[Horatio Nelson]

I hope you'll be able to get over it, and move on. I know you'll find someone better that will love you like you love them :)

Thanks man. :)

That really helps me.

[maniamsmart]

Thanks man. :)

That really helps me.

I am glad it did, I've felt like you have before and it's always important to just look and focus on the positives :)

[jssixna]

Don't rush it too fast. She says she hasn't known you too long so wait a little and she may develop feelings toward you. By the way you describe her I think you have a great chance.

[fairmaiden]

Well, she straight up said she doesn't want a relationship. There was a lot of confusion on my end, I thought she felt different. So I told her I couldn't just be friends. At which point she completely cut me off. I guess it's for the best. :|
aw I'm so so sorry :( Don't worry, you will find someone else who loves you back. I think next time (when you find someone who makes you happy), maybe not say 'love you' that frequently, and only say it when you know for a fact that she feels the same way about you. :)