Would you break up if there was little to no chance for actual sex?

[twirlgurl]

Just curious cause i hear this from my friends a lot. (i dont actually date yet..not allowed)

Thier crush breaks up with them after like a month or three BECAUSE they arent getting sex. I mean intercourse sex not the other stuff. My friends are 14, 15, and 16 and they just didnt want intercourse yet even tho they told them they love them and all. To these boys, It's like nothing else in the relationship mattered to them at all. They werent getting sex, so they said they wanted a "serious relationship" and broke up and threw it all away to chase some girl they would have a better chance at.

Am i a prude by thinking this seems so shallow and selfish and stupid? Maybe cause i havent had sex yet, i dont know. But don't you think thats a really stupid reason to give up on a relationship?? Is waiting REALLY that hard to do? I mean, go download porno and JO, but why give everything up?

[maniamsmart]

That's just stupid and immature bullshit this generation is showing nowadays. This is why a lot of relationships go downhill and why a lot of people are sad and depressed because of ignorant crap like this. Sex in a relationship doesn't make it serious. Don't listen to your friends, because that is indeed a very stupid reason to break up, and shows that you don't have the slightest idea of love or relationships. And you are right, waiting should not be a problem, and if they wanted sex so much, they should go on the internet and search for it.

[CosmicNoodle]

Well, at your young age, sex shouldn't be a deciding factor, but I can see how in older more mature people it could be,

Personally, being intimate with someone is kinda a big thing, not because it feels good and gets me off and all that crap, but simply because its a good way to feel close to someone, a good way to feel like you have an actual connection, lack of that could damage a relationship. If your not allowed to progress with someone past a certain point.

But pike onsaid, at YOUR age, sex shouldn't matter, at the age of 14 they should be counted as lucky that they even have a partner, you shpoulsnt worry about sex at that age,

[Karkat]

I wouldn't care if the person wanted to stay a celibate for life if I loved them.

So

[BritEmily]

It's not prudish to think that they're being shallow and stupid.

I've been with my BF for a year and three months, we only started having sex three months ago because I didn't feel ready. He was so scared of making me do something that I didn't want to, because he cared about me too much to upset me over something sexual, that it took some doing to persuade him that I wanted to try the other stuff.

In short, if it's really love or whatever then the guy (or the girl if its the other way round) should respect their partners feelings when it comes to stuff like sex.

[Elliott_hn]

no, I wouldn't

[Dortmund]

We live in a generation driven by sex. We've got people having sex at 12, 13 and 14 years old and it's becoming normal now for this to happen and it's absurd. When I was that age I was interested in football and hanging out with friends. Sex never came into the question.

If people are breaking up with their boyfriends and girlfriends after not having sex within between a month to three months after being together that truly reflects the selfishness and ignorance of the generation we have up and coming.

If they aren't old enough to be able to handle a relationship properly they most definitely aren't ready to be having sex on a regular basis with someone.

[SethfromMI]

If I loved the person enough then no. I do love sex, a lot. so they would have to be very special to give that up

[riverboy]

These guys don't want a relationship but only want sex. They are only thinking of themselves if after a month they want sex. What do the guys do after they have sex? Find another girl?

[Dying Ember]

We live in a generation driven by sex. We've got people having sex at 12, 13 and 14 years old and it's becoming normal now for this to happen and it's absurd. When I was that age I was interested in football and hanging out with friends. Sex never came into the question.

If people are breaking up with their boyfriends and girlfriends after not having sex within between a month to three months after being together that truly reflects the selfishness and ignorance of the generation we have up and coming.

If they aren't old enough to be able to handle a relationship properly they most definitely aren't ready to be having sex on a regular basis with someone.

I agree.

I mean, these people are 14, 15, 16? That's really young, why would you just look for sex in a relationship at that point? I agree, when you're a lot older then I can understand why it would be kind of important but when you're still a teenager that's just stupid and absurd. These people you're talking about clearly aren't worth having a relationship with if the only thing they're after is sex. They sound like complete idiots to me. OP, dont worry you aren't prude at all, you're right, they are shallow and selfish.

[Elysium]

For some people, sex is an important part of a relationship. Better they break up with their partner instead of pressuring them into doing something they're not ready for yet. At that age, I think it's kind of questionable whether sex should be so vital yet, but it's totally possible and to each their own.

I don't know these guys in question, so it's hard to say whether it was out of plain old immaturity (that is to say, they only entered the relationship for the sex), or whether it was out of a genuine need for physical contact with their partner. I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt here.

[Body odah Man]

Just curious cause i hear this from my friends a lot. (i dont actually date yet..not allowed)

Thier crush breaks up with them after like a month or three BECAUSE they arent getting sex. I mean intercourse sex not the other stuff. My friends are 14, 15, and 16 and they just didnt want intercourse yet even tho they told them they love them and all. To these boys, It's like nothing else in the relationship mattered to them at all. They werent getting sex, so they said they wanted a "serious relationship" and broke up and threw it all away to chase some girl they would have a better chance at.

Am i a prude by thinking this seems so shallow and selfish and stupid? Maybe cause i havent had sex yet, i dont know. But don't you think thats a really stupid reason to give up on a relationship?? Is waiting REALLY that hard to do? I mean, go download porno and JO, but why give everything up?

It's shallow and selfish, yet we boys r mainly like that. Personally I'd rather have love in a relationship and a sweet girl than end it cuz I wasn't getting laid but most guys just want sex.

[maniamsmart]

For some people, sex is an important part of a relationship. Better they break up with their partner instead of pressuring them into doing something they're not ready for yet. At that age, I think it's kind of questionable whether sex should be so vital yet, but it's totally possible and to each their own.

I don't know these guys in question, so it's hard to say whether it was out of plain old immaturity (that is to say, they only entered the relationship for the sex), or whether it was out of a genuine need for physical contact with their partner. I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt here.

Good viewpoint, and I am really trying to understand how someone could value sex that much. While I can understand that sex can be important, but so important that you can't wait, and have to end the relationship and let your love for the person be defined by just sex? Doesn't seem to make much sense to me.

[Elysium]

Good viewpoint, and I am really trying to understand how someone could value sex that much. While I can understand that sex can be important, but so important that you can't wait, and have to end the relationship and let your love for the person be defined by just sex? Doesn't seem to make much sense to me.
For some, sex is an important part of connecting with someone and solidifying your bond with them. I think if sex is that important to someone, but their partner isn't ready for it, they should try to make it work first and if it can't or doesn't, then you break up instead of pressuring someone who's not ready or not comfortable. It's not that love is defined solely by whether or not there's a sexual relationship, but it can definitely be an important factor.

[twirlgurl]

It's shallow and selfish, yet we boys r mainly like that. Personally I'd rather have love in a relationship and a sweet girl than end it cuz I wasn't getting laid but most guys just want sex.

Actually, i want to believe that boys mostly AREN'T like that. But the few that are give others a really bad reputation. Which isnt really fair. Just as some girls who dress cute and showy are called sluts -- even if they never had sex. Cute and sexy doesnt mean slutty, but thats how some guys see it. that might be a bad analogy tho

[maniamsmart]

For some, sex is an important part of connecting with someone and solidifying your bond with them. I think if sex is that important to someone, but their partner isn't ready for it, they should try to make it work first and if it can't or doesn't, then you break up instead of pressuring someone who's not ready or not comfortable. It's not that love is defined solely by whether or not there's a sexual relationship, but it can definitely be an important factor.

Yeah that I can understand. It can be an important part, and perhaps it doesn't define it solely, but in my personal opinion I still don't think that a relationship should end because of it. There's always a way to fix it, and there's always a chance for it to happen. But I like your view from it, and thank you for sharing it because I never thought of it that way.

[Elysium]

Yeah that I can understand. It can be an important part, and perhaps it doesn't define it solely, but in my personal opinion I still don't think that a relationship should end because of it. There's always a way to fix it, and there's always a chance for it to happen. But I like your view from it, and thank you for sharing it because I never thought of it that way.
I'd like to think the same being more or less asexual myself, but that's just not how things work for some people. Sometimes it won't work, there isn't always a chance of fixing it. Unfortunately, things don't always work out. But I see where you're coming from; I would love to think the way you do. Perhaps I'm just too cynical :P

But I know I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who needs sex, at least not at this point in my life, so I can imagine how it would feel the other way around.

[maniamsmart]

I'd like to think the same being more or less asexual myself, but that's just not how things work for some people. Sometimes it won't work, there isn't always a chance of fixing it. Unfortunately, things don't always work out. But I see where you're coming from; I would love to think the way you do. Perhaps I'm just too cynical :P

But I know I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who needs sex, at least not at this point in my life, so I can imagine how it would feel the other way around.

No, you're okay. Don't wish to think like someone else, it's what makes you unique and you should be proud of it :)

[Uranus]

That just sounds stupid. If anyone leaves because of no sex, does that make them a sex whore? (no offense)

I mean c'mon. It's just sex. But the love and connection between the two is even more enjoyable. It's amazing. Sex isn't just what it's about. Sex is just a benefit

[Body odah Man]

Actually, i want to believe that boys mostly AREN'T like that. But the few that are give others a really bad reputation. Which isnt really fair. Just as some girls who dress cute and showy are called sluts -- even if they never had sex. Cute and sexy doesnt mean slutty, but thats how some guys see it. that might be a bad analogy tho

If boys mostly aren't like that then that gives me hope for my gender.

[Eat33]

Personally, I wouldn't have sex with someone if they weren't ready, I'd rather do other things to make ourselves happy and make them trust me and feel comfortable enough to have sex

[Whight]

I personally wouldn't. But then again, I was on the side that didn't really want to have sex.
I'm still not that crazed for it. It's nice. but I much prefer the company and the "having someone to do everything with" element of a relationship.

[TheLoneWolf]

I really wouldn't care about whether a girl would have sex with me or not in a relationship if there's a reason.

[Meh Guy]

While I tend to think that's really immature and really you're just dealing with egotistical guys looking for the next way to get their dicks wet, I offer a counterpoint. While no one should really "expect" sex in a relationship, it can be a sign of extreme trust and love to have sex with someone, and holding out on having it in a relationship might not be fair. Mind you, as I said, no one thinks this way nowadays and it's probably just immature guys.

[Melodic]

No. Sex never has been a main factor for me in a relationship. I'd be completely content being a virgin the rest of my life if I truly cared about that person.

[churris]

Well, your friends are quite young and at their age, I didn't feel ready to have sex and it would be quite shallow if the boys started the relationship JUST for the sex. Hey, let's be clear since the beggining if you want a fwb, because otherwise you're just hurting another person.

Then again, at *my* point of life, at least for me, sex it's an important part of a relationship. I wouldn't mind waiting if he needed the time, certainly a month, three months isn't anything to say you know a person and feel comfortable to have sex with them if before you weren't ready. But if I dated someone and they'd say they want to wait till marriage, for example, then that would be too much for me. I'm not ready to get married and I, again personally, don't event agree with that so it would be a reason to break up.

But your friends it's a totally different situation, and it'll always depend of the people involved.

[intrigued]

Society nowadays is very sex-driven, with many underage girls having sexual intercourse at the ages of 13/14/15. I will admit that I lost my virginity when I was 15, however it was with my boyfriend who I was in a relationship with for 18 months and we never had sex until after 9 months. Now I'm 18 and in a different relationship we waited 2-3 months until having sex, because I knew I was ready then. It all depends on the individual, but I'd never break up with someone for lack of sex or no sex.

[JustNathan]

Sex is not important to me. I may be young, (13) but I already know I don't want to have sex. Besides, it doesn't necessarily show that it is a serious relationship.
I do understand why people may think it is important though.

[Uranus]

I've already made my point but here's another.


Hell....Noooooooooo

That's just fucking stupid to leave if you couldn't have sex.
(For the majority of us) We've been surviving with the good ol' hand ( :D )
I think it would suffice if there was no sex in a relationship

[Sardonical]

No I certainly would not. In fact, I would be fairly happy if the discussion of having sex wasn't mentioned before 6 months of the relationship, and if a partner wanted to have sex early on in the relationship I would tell them to wait or even break up with them. I would have no intentions in having sex unless I knew the relationship was solid, and no, I'm not religious folk who believe in no sex before marriage, I just do not think it is right to have a relationship just based around when to have sex.

[mcdaniels]

I feel this way too, I'm a boy.. But I just want to settle down with a girl and worry about that later. What's the big rush with us lol

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

If they let me cuddle with them and hold their hand, then I'll still be as happy as a clam.

[twirlgurl]

If they let me cuddle with them and hold their hand, then I'll still be as happy as a clam.

That's assuming clams are actually happy. ??

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

That's assuming clams are actually happy. ??
If they're protected from the world living at the bottom of the ocean and eating algae and planktons I'd assume they'd be pretty happy, at least until the otters rip them out of their shells and feast on their fleshy insides.

[Cognizant]

My last ex left cause I wasn't interested in sex. It's a douche-y thing to do, tbh. If you want to hook up, let it be a hookup. Don't be that a shallow person and lie about being interested in them so that you can get sex.

[CharlieHorse]

Am i a prude by thinking this seems so shallow and selfish and stupid? Maybe cause i havent had sex yet, i dont know. But don't you think thats a really stupid reason to give up on a relationship?? Is waiting REALLY that hard to do? I mean, go download porno and JO, but why give everything up?

1. Nope
2. Yes. Seems like sex was their only motivation. I won't even call that a relationship, nor giving up. It's not even starting.
3. Depends. I would think people in a real relationship would sort that out themselves.
4. They sound like dumb kids. Some people just don't care for a real relationship. That's the game. Try to find someone that fits.

Communication and understanding is the most important thing in a relationship.

[mariozplaze]

My Gf and I are almost 18 and we're both virgins, we don't want to wait for marriage or anything like that, we just haven't had the opportunity...but we still love each other.

Its all about love, and the longer you wait the more special it will be.

[maniamsmart]

My Gf and I are almost 18 and we're both virgins, we don't want to wait for marriage or anything like that, we just haven't had the opportunity...but we still love each other.

Its all about love, and the longer you wait the more special it will be.

Preach it, agreed.

[mattsmith48]

14 and 15 you don't absolutely need sex 16 and later sex is a must

[Magenta]

If they believe a "serious relationship" has to involve sex, well, they really don't know what a relationship really is. Yes, for some people sex is a really big thing but there's so much more involved than just that. Many people won't have sex for months until they're ready. There are asexuals in perfectly serious relationships that have no desire for sex at all.

There are many different scenarios in which breaking up would be a legitimate option but in this case, they're just being horny teenagers who want to get laid. I can't say I'm honestly surprised.

[maniamsmart]

If they believe a "serious relationship" has to involve sex, well, they really don't know what a relationship really is. Yes, for some people sex is a really big thing but there's so much more involved than just that. Many people won't have sex for months until they're ready. There are asexuals in perfectly serious relationships that have no desire for sex at all.

There are many different scenarios in which breaking up would be a legitimate option but in this case, they're just being horny teenagers who want to get laid. I can't say I'm honestly surprised.

That's right! I don't see this as a legitimate reason at all either. Unless you've actually talked to the person, and discussed how sex is important to you, and your partner has given you very good and valid reasons why they don't like sex, then perhaps there may be some, and I say some, legitimate reasoning behind breaking up. But I sure as hell no that not many people are going to talk about it, they are just going to expect, rationalize on their own, and break up.