I need some help :(

[Uranus]

I'm having troubles with me and relationships. I've been in long distance relationships, in person relationships, and you name it. But every relationship I've been in, has gone downhill. Not because of something I did, or the girl did, its just random shit. I'm currently with a girl...but I don't think it will work. I need to be in a relationship. Because when I am, I'm happy. I'm a different person. I feel good. But when I'm not in one...life is always going bad in some way. I don't want a gf, I need a gf.

Are my expectations too high or low?
(here they are)

1) I want a girl who is beautiful and very pretty.(but not like really extreme like a supermodel but you get my drift.) But whatever she looks like, I wont leave her because of it.

2) I don't care what her ethnicity is. Whether she's white, black, Asian, German, I don't care. I'll love her for who she is.

3) I want her to be honest and trustworthy. One who I can always trust that she will always love me and not leave me for some other guy..

4) I want her to be a virgin. (Yes I know weird) Because of all the things that are going on with the sexual culture and society, I just want one who is innocent and can be with me. Because I would trust a virgin more than a non virg.


5) I want her expectations to be the same about me.

These are just a few of the little bit of expectations I have.
Are the standards too high or low? It just seems like I can't live without a girlfriend or someone in my life who I can love. I just don't feel happy without one....

What is there I can do?
Do I have any chance of finding the right girl?

I'm tired of all the ending relationships and messing around with other girls to take my mind off things. I'm ready for a real relationship...it's just I'm having trouble with it.... What do I do?

[Saint]

I need to be in a relationship. Because when I am, I'm happy. I'm a different person. I feel good. But when I'm not in one...life is always going bad in some way. I don't want a gf, I need a gf.


i think that right there is why your relationships aren't lasting. I'm no expert,but you seem to feed on them,which isn't healthy at all. on one of your "expectations", you said you'd want a girl who's a virgin,and your reasoning just seems like an insecurity issue to me,but hey. once you're actually happy with yourself alone,then a relationship might not be such a bad idea. but right now i'd just work on yourself and let it happen if it happens. and you don't really need a relationship in your teens lol,even though you'd probably disagree with that.

[Stronger]

Mind you, you are 15 so you have plenty of time for finding that right girl. You're expectations aren't ridiculous but #4 is a bit much, her being a virgin shouldn't make or break it. You're "dream girl" can be just as faithful and everything else and not be a virgin. Like I said you have ample time to find the right girl it just takes a bit of patience and time.

[SethfromMI]

the only thing I would say is an unfair expectation is if you are not a virgin yourself. if you are not, it is not fair to have that same expectation for others. the other ones are reasonable. beauty may not be the most important thing in the world, but let's face it, we want to be physically attracted to those we are dating

you still have plenty of time my friend

[Dortmund]

At the end of the day you're only 15. That's no age and you've plenty of time to find that right girl.

You say that you want a virgin because they're innocent, that's fair enough if you are one too maybe. At the same time though if you find your perfect girl is her not being a virgin going to be a total deal breaker?

Possibly a reason why they might not work out is your determination to be in a relationship, almost forcing yourself into one for the sake of it. I'm single now, aged 19 and I'd love to have a girlfriend. Thing though is you need to be able to deal with single life before you can successfully deal with a relationship.

[Foamy]

I need to be in a relationship. Because when I am, I'm happy. I'm a different person. I feel good. But when I'm not in one...life is always going bad in some way. I don't want a gf, I need a gf.

The thought of you "needing" a relationship is just something that your mind brought upon itself. Its like a security blanket that acts as a distraction from other things.


1) I want a girl who is beautiful and very pretty.(but not like really extreme like a supermodel but you get my drift.) But whatever she looks like, I wont leave her because of it.

Looks shouldn't be everything, and the first half of that statement clearly differs from the second half.

2) I don't care what her ethnicity is. Whether she's white, black, Asian, German, I don't care. I'll love her for who she is.

Shouldn't matter from the beginning. I couple that with looks.

3) I want her to be honest and trustworthy. One who I can always trust that she will always love me and not leave me for some other guy..

The first part should be expected by both parties in any relationship. However, while the hope that you aren't left in the dust for someone else, unfortunately there always is that possibility.

4) I want her to be a virgin. (Yes I know weird) Because of all the things that are going on with the sexual culture and society, I just want one who is innocent and can be with me. Because I would trust a virgin more than a non virg.

So what if someone "perfect" comes along who isn't a virgin?

5) I want her expectations to be the same about me.

Reasonable enough.

I'm tired of all the ending relationships and messing around with other girls to take my mind off things. I'm ready for a real relationship...it's just I'm having trouble with it.... What do I do?

Honestly, you do not seem ready for a real relationship. If you were truly ready, you would see that some of your expectations are either unnecessary or perhaps unreasonable. And seeing as it seems that you've bounced from girl to girl, some girls might think of you as a "player" and not want to get into a relationship with you, whether or not you want to be in one with them. And I'm going to be piggybacking with what some others have said; you're only 15. You have ample time to prepare yourself mentally for a real relationship. Relationships are not meant to be rushed into or for publicity or even for distractions. Sorry bud.

[maniamsmart]

One of my friends is in the exact same boat as you. He can't ever find the right girl either. He also has kind of the same expectations as you. One thing I will say right off the bat is that I don't think your expectations are too high, but I do think that you shouldn't be thinking about what type of girl you want, but rather thinking about how to get a girl and how to find out if she has the things that you want. A lot of the things you want in a girl can't really be seen truly in her until you've been with her for some time.

Considering that you are 15, not many girls want a serious relationship. Girls at this this age want to experiment, want to be reckless, and want to understand and learn what they want in a guy. This is very normal, and a good percentage of the girls in the world are like this. There are a few who think like you though and want to find a guy that they can be with for a long time. But I'll be very blunt with you, it is rare. Not only do people now a days have sex at early age (which is why it may be hard to find a virgin), but the fact that girls and guys still are maturing at this age, it's best to learn about relationships at your age instead of looking for a permanent one.

I've advised people from all ages, and I know what goes through the minds of girls at your age, and this is it. I'd say just wait it out, and take advantage of the relationships you are in now to learn about girls, about yourself, about what you want, and use it for reference in the future rather than looking for the relationship that's going to last forever.

If you have any other questions feel free to ask, I'll be here to help.