extremely pissed at my mom

[Babs]

My parents are separated, and will be getting divorced very soon. They're still living in the same house though. Basically, she's not handling things with very much grace, and I'm really fucking pissed off.
She's being extremely vindictive. It's winter, and my dad is sleeping downstairs and she opened his windows a little bit so he wouldn't notice but he'd be very cold (guess it didn't occur to her that it affects all of us...) but she told me about it in a drunken rage, so I closed it once she was in bed. Now she keeps talking (mainly while drunk; she's been drinking a lot more than usual lately) about hurting our dad and I know he isn't perfect, but he is handling things a lot better than she is and I know she's going through a lot, but it's really fucking pissing me off.
Nowadays, I feel like more of a parent to her than she is to me. It's now her kids' responsibility to walk her through her divorce and cater to her every whim so that she's happy. She does some things, like cooking dinner occasionally, but mainly, she's not much of a parent. She wasn't much of one before, but now it's even worse and I don't know what to do.

[Zachary G]

if you feel like you are being the parent to her, then i think its time you sat her down and had a serious talk with her about what you are feeling, what she is going through, and how it is affecting you.

[Karkat]

I agree with Zack. She may be having a hard time, but that's bullshit. She should've been ready for this kind of emotional responsibility when she got married and had kids to begin with.

[SethfromMI]

I am sorry to hear that. your father should kick her out of the house or try to move when he can and hopefully you can stay or go with him so you do not have to deal with your mother anymore

[twirlgurl]

sounds like your dad is the sane one. maybe talk with him instead? Are you planning on staying with your Mom cause - this probably is going to get worst before it gets better. If shes drinking too much then maybe a time for OTHER relatives to get involved too. like your Grandparents or aunts or uncles. Intervention!!

I dont think rage will help cause she'll probably wont listen to you, but she might listen to others.

[Babs]

if you feel like you are being the parent to her, then i think its time you sat her down and had a serious talk with her about what you are feeling, what she is going through, and how it is affecting you.

I agree with Zack. She may be having a hard time, but that's bullshit. She should've been ready for this kind of emotional responsibility when she got married and had kids to begin with.

I'm trying to find a gentle way to talk with her. She doesn't respond well to criticism, so that at the moment is a work in progress.

I am sorry to hear that. your father should kick her out of the house or try to move when he can and hopefully you can stay or go with him so you do not have to deal with your mother anymore

We're working on living arrangements at the moment. This is sort of fresh but I have a feeling a decision will be made soon enough.

sounds like your dad is the sane one. maybe talk with him instead? Are you planning on staying with your Mom cause - this probably is going to get worst before it gets better. If shes drinking too much then maybe a time for OTHER relatives to get involved too. like your Grandparents or aunts or uncles. Intervention!!

I dont think rage will help cause she'll probably wont listen to you, but she might listen to others.

He's definitely handling the situation with a little more sanity, yes. He's aware of her behavior, and, like the rest of us, is trying to handle it delicately.
I'm probably going to opt for dual custody so I don't have to choose between them.
I don't think her drinking is to the point where she needs an intervention, however, it's becoming a bit of a slippery slope.

[lilg]

Wow that really sucks. I don't have my mom in my life so I'll never have to deal with that but you're right, it's like she's 9 or something. Actually I think 9yr olds behave better than that.

[SethfromMI]

well I hope the best for you and hopefully soon