I don't know

[EssentialAspiration]

I didn't really know where to put this and my problems may be a little too insignificant to be described as worthy of a 'mental crisis' but oh well.

I've found a massive problem of mine that constantly holds me back in life is my inability to escape my comfort zone. For example, I've been in a relationship with a girl for 6 months, I love her, I haven't kissed her. Why? Because I've never kissed a girl and I cannot bring myself to do it. What's the worst that could happen? I know she'd understand if I messed it up. So what am I so afraid of? God knows. Another example, music's a big thing for me and I'm leaving high school soon and I have to audition to get a place in a college music course. I'm incredibly tempted to cancel all my auditions because I'm nervous, I'm scared. I don't want to look bad, I don't want to feel bad.

I love music and I want to pursue it as a career in my life. I love my girlfriend and I want us to continue to be together and for us both to be happy with our level of intimacy. But these are both things that, right now, are going nowhere because I can't man up and do what it is I not only have to do, but what I want to do. That't the worst part about it. I want to do these things. I really do. I just cannot bring myself to throw myself out there like that, y'know?

I'm new to this site and this is only my second post, and as is becoming a common trend with these posts I don't have a clue why I'm posting it. I don't know what advice can be given or what. But any help is appreciated I suppose.

Thanks

[James Dean]

If you don't feel comfortable doing something, then don't do it. Always listen to what your heart says. There will always be times to go back and try again. Let opportunities that come to you settle, think about them and try to make it the best outcome for you.

With that said though, I will say that at least give some things a try. If after you tested yourself and you still feel uneasy, then don't go any further with that. You should apply this towards your education goals, relationship issues, and your social anxiety which in some forms are showing based on your problem. If you have a passion for something, remember to take your time with it and not to make bad decisions on pursuing those steps.

You can always just go for it. Auditions can be good experiences. Outweighing the positives and negatives should be simple for you. The positive is that you were able to finally accomplish what was binding in your mind and you no longer feel confused about it. The negatives are just simply, the outcome didn't work out in your favor. That's a pretty good negative to me. So instead of just wondering about the negatives, it might not be as worse as you think it is, so just go for it.

In addition to just being mindful and careful and slowing down about approaching things. I know that it will all come together. Take care of yourself. :)