How To Stop Masturbating

[Decimus]

Hello everyone.

Recently, I've been going through a period of deep thought and have come to the conclusion that I need to start taking my faith more seriously. I was raised in the Roman Rite of the Catholic Church, and have started to really evaluate where I stand spiritually and have decided that I can't keep going on like this. I masturbate almost twice a week and seem to think about sex a lot. For those of you who don't know, masturbation is a mortal sin in the Catholic Church and I've been doing it since I was 8. I didn't know that it was sinful until I was 12 or 13, so it wasn't held against me for a while. I've been held down by this sin for far too long. It's time to put this behind me. I've been praying more often, listening to Daily Mass on the radio, going to Confession, and wearing a Miraculous Medal. But I still struggle with this sin. I've tried everything I can think of in a spiritual sense, but does anyone have any other ideas that don't involve prayer? I'm not trying to say "look how devout I am" here. I'm really worried about my soul and I'm tired of this sin controlling my spiritual life. Thank you, and merry Christmas.

Pax et bonum,
Decimus

[Lost in the Echo]

Stay as busy as possible. Whatever your hobbies are, get more involved in them. Whenever you're bored, and you begin to feel urges, go do chores.

Basically, just stay active so your mind stays off masturbation.

[BDOG]

Hello everyone.

Recently, I've been going through a period of deep thought and have come to the conclusion that I need to start taking my faith more seriously. I was raised in the Roman Rite of the Catholic Church, and have started to really evaluate where I stand spiritually and have decided that I can't keep going on like this. I masturbate almost twice a week and seem to think about sex a lot. For those of you who don't know, masturbation is a mortal sin in the Catholic Church and I've been doing it since I was 8. I didn't know that it was sinful until I was 12 or 13, so it wasn't held against me for a while. I've been held down by this sin for far too long. It's time to put this behind me. I've been praying more often, listening to Daily Mass on the radio, going to Confession, and wearing a Miraculous Medal. But I still struggle with this sin. I've tried everything I can think of in a spiritual sense, but does anyone have any other ideas that don't involve prayer? I'm not trying to say "look how devout I am" here. I'm really worried about my soul and I'm tired of this sin controlling my spiritual life. Thank you, and merry Christmas.

Pax et bonum,
DecimusI'm Christian as well, but I don't focus on anything but the 10 commandments. Anyways, don't worry about it because eventually you will stop mastrabating on your own and 2 times a week isn't bad most people do it that much a day.

[Decimus]

I'm Christian as well, but I don't focus on anything but the 10 commandments. Anyways, don't worry about it because eventually you will stop mastrabating on your own and 2 times a week isn't bad most people do it that much a day.

Thank you for responding. I'm not trying to come of as critical here, but masturbation would fall under the sixth commandment, "Thou shall not commit adultery." There is a theological reason behind this, and I'd gladly explain in a PM, if you want. It's a little long for a post. I know two weeks isn't bad, but I used to be at every other day a year ago. One mortal sin on your soul is still too many for salvation.

[Taryn98]

I'm Catholic too, but I don't worry about it. Based on the Church, humans are all flawed and are all sinners. You can try as much as you want not to, but we are all still sinners. God knows this. As long as you try to live a good life and repent for your sins, you will be forgiven.

[BDOG]

Thank you for responding. I'm not trying to come of as critical here, but masturbation would fall under the sixth commandment, "Thou shall not commit adultery." There is a theological reason behind this, and I'd gladly explain in a PM, if you want. It's a little long for a post. I know two weeks isn't bad, but I used to be at every other day a year ago. One mortal sin on your soul is still too many for salvation.

OFF TOPIC:

We can't PM people as we don't have 100 Posts... Plus I went to a Catholic School and the Priest from the Church across the street always came over and talked to us and he said it refers to cheating on your wife, and having sex before marriage. Now take this with a grain of salt everyone does this these days plus what do you think would upset god more, using people for sex and tricking them into thinking you love them and running off after you get bored, people who would get married if they could, or people who were hooking up and both knew there were no strings attached? I think that using people would upset god more but that's just my opinion, nobody knows this for sure. You could be right, I could be wrong; heck we both could be right but only god and people who lived before us know. Its best just not to worry about these things as God is very understanding, if you misunderstand his rules I'm sure that God understands; I believe that if you know 100% and if your disobeying the rules just because you don't want to follow his rules would upset him a lot more than innocently making mistakes. Doesn't it mention somewhere in the bible that everyone deserves a second chance and forgiveness when they need it most? I'm sure it does.

ON TOPIC:

So anyways, just try to do things to keep your mind off of these things, maybe hanging out with others, playing sports on your local sports teams making models, crafts, exercising, volunteering, helping the elderly: anything that keeps your hands busy, makes you happy or even makes you feel good about how you've helped someone in need.

I'm Catholic too, but I don't worry about it. Based on the Church, humans are all flawed and are all sinners. You can try as much as you want not to, but we are all still sinners. God knows this. As long as you try to live a good life and repent for your sins, you will be forgiven.

Yeah, that basically sums it up. No human is perfect, only God is perfect.

[BlackParadePixie]

Sexuality is a beautiful thing. Shame on the church for ruining it.

[benbeny]

I'm catholic and I go to Catholic school for 12 years, yet I choose to ignore church's point of view in this problem. Personally I don't even think that's a problem, cause actually sexuality is truly natural.
Too bad church destroy the natural things human does.
But of course as my priests always say, that's your own personal choice and you should choose with your conscience.

[Kochanek]

Sexuality is a beautiful thing. Shame on the church for ruining it.

I think it's an easy way too keep power over people. Make them believe that a need they cannot escape from is a sin.

Sexual release is something, everybody needs. If you don't get release, you surely won't die of it, but you think you drive nuts by being aroused, aroused, aroused.

By making people believe they are sinners already by being so horny and craving sex (and being even more sinners, if they can't stand the urge to masturbate) and that they only can save their souls by going to church and confess, the church keeps control over people.

In our school there are siblings (boy and two girls between 12 and 17), whose familiy are jehovas witnesses. They are absolutely forbidden to have any sexual contacts before marriage and absolutely forbidden to masturbate. And they are seem to be controlled by parents and their priests 24/7.
Poor guys! I often wonder, how they can stand this or if they found a way to masturbate at least from time to time.

[lilg]

I would HATE to live like that! ugh! I don't go to church or anything like that because of that stuff.

[Kelsey1031]

I am catholic as well, I went to 9 years of catholic school and heard priests and nuns say that its a sin all the time. I disagree that masturbation is a sin. Your not gonna be damned to hell for getting off. Hell is a place for serial killers & other criminals. I believe that if you're over all good person, God forgives all of it in the end.

[Kochanek]

I am catholic as well, I went to 9 years of catholic school and heard priests and nuns say that its a sin all the time. I disagree that masturbation is a sin. Your not gonna be damned to hell for getting off. Hell is a place for serial killers & other criminals. I believe that if you're over all good person, God forgives all of it in the end.

So how did you deal with it?
Did you and your classmates try to obey the nun's and priest's advice? Or didn't you care about it at all?
Was it a residential school? Did or could the nuns and priests control in a way, if you masturbated? Were there even schoolmates who would grass the priests, who did it?

[Jason The Great]

You just stop it , it's not that difficult. But trust me, it's a transient addiction and after a while it'll go away.

[FameMonster]

Sexuality is a beautiful thing. Shame on the church for ruining it.

+1000
Totally agree. The church has shamed people into thinking sex is bad and evil, particularly here in the US. We are soooo uptight about sex here.

[Decimus]

The whole reason that the Church teaches that masturbation is sinful is because of the sixth commandment, "Thou shall not commit adultery." Sex was made by God, therefor it is good and beautiful. But, it can be misused. Sexuality is a gift from God and to use it incorrectly is a sin. That said, sex between man and wife is encouraged, as they are married and are not committing adultery. As sex is giving your whole self to another, don't you think it would be wrong to save a little for yourself (masturbation)? It's like telling someone that you will give them a whole cake. When you give them that cake, there are pieces missing! These missing pieces are like when masturbate. The Church isn't trying to ruin sexuality, no they don't want to. Church law doesn't exist for trying to control people when you see it in a logical light.

Pax et bonum!

[MimDipity]

As long as you don't think about any person in a sexual way when you masturbate, then it is not a sin, and it is not adultery. I am Christian, but I masturbate. It's a safer way to relieve sexual urges than what might happen otherwise, and I don't watch porn or think about anyone in a sexual way as I do it, so I don't believe I'm doing anything wrong.

[SethfromMI]

just try to find other activities to occupy your mind and time

[phuckphace]

I don't know any devout Catholics IRL (the Bible Belt is full to the max with Protestant heretics lmao) but out of interest I googled and found this:

http://www.beginningcatholic.com/catholic-teaching-on-masturbation.html

"Does the Catholic teaching on masturbation say we should repress our sexuality?"

There's a difference between repression and self-control.

Repression means to "stuff" those feelings down when they arise, denying them and wishing they weren't there.

Repression doesn't work. Many people try this route and fail.

Self-control is different. You don't deny the reality of your sexual drive, but seek to control it according to your will. That's called being free! If you're a slave to your urges (sexual or otherwise), you're not free.

When sexual feelings, desires, and temptations present themselves, as they inevitably do, instead of trying to ignore them or "stuff" them by pushing them down and under, we need to bring them up and out. Not up and out in the sense of indulging them, but up and out and into the hands of Christ our Redeemer. You might simply say a prayer such as this:

Lord Jesus, I give you my sexual desires. Please undo in me what sin has done so that I might know freedom in this area and experience sexual desire as you intend. Amen.

The more we invite Christ into our passions and desires and allow him to purify them, the more we find we're able to exercise proper control of them. And we begin more and more to experience our sexuality, not as the desire for selfish gratification but as the desire to give ourselves away in imitation of Christ. This is what redemption is all about.

I think this part is key. the haters always fail to make the distinction between suppression (which is unhealthy) and self-control (which is highly desirable). the Church's teachings against masturbation are only a small part of a larger theme of selflessness, temperance and chastity which is meant for all areas of life, not just sexuality. what they're saying is if you learn to direct your focus outward and away from yourself to Christ, it will change how you live as a person, which is the point. if you could stop sinning on your own, why again did Christ die for you?

I hope this is helpful.

[Body odah Man]

Hello everyone.

Recently, I've been going through a period of deep thought and have come to the conclusion that I need to start taking my faith more seriously. I was raised in the Roman Rite of the Catholic Church, and have started to really evaluate where I stand spiritually and have decided that I can't keep going on like this. I masturbate almost twice a week and seem to think about sex a lot. For those of you who don't know, masturbation is a mortal sin in the Catholic Church and I've been doing it since I was 8. I didn't know that it was sinful until I was 12 or 13, so it wasn't held against me for a while. I've been held down by this sin for far too long. It's time to put this behind me. I've been praying more often, listening to Daily Mass on the radio, going to Confession, and wearing a Miraculous Medal. But I still struggle with this sin. I've tried everything I can think of in a spiritual sense, but does anyone have any other ideas that don't involve prayer? I'm not trying to say "look how devout I am" here. I'm really worried about my soul and I'm tired of this sin controlling my spiritual life. Thank you, and merry Christmas.

Pax et bonum,
Decimus

I may not be raised in the whole Catholic Church sphere (I do lean towards the Christian faith though), but I too have tried to overcome my masturbation addiction. It takes time but I have a couple of tips for you:

1. Spend as little time as possible in the places where you normally masturbate. That's where the addiction is the strongest

2. Ask God for strength to overcome your addiction (you probably already do but still adding it).

3. Find something you rlly like to do that isn't masturbation (has to be a really strong hobby you love doing each day.) Whenever you masturbate or do something you're not supposed to: you lose the hobby. That really helps keep you motivated to stop.

4.Use baby steps. For example first aim for no O's, then for no edging, etc. etc. Continue this (with a week between steps and administering a penalty whenever you fail) until your addiction has been defeated.

5. Don't let failing discourage you.

Good luck man.

[marko1707]

Well I think you should just do it and not think about it as a sin. You do not just someone or do something wrong. So just continue to have fun with you

[Kochanek]

The whole reason that the Church teaches that masturbation is sinful is because of the sixth commandment, "Thou shall not commit adultery." Sex was made by God, therefor it is good and beautiful. But, it can be misused. Sexuality is a gift from God and to use it incorrectly is a sin. That said, sex between man and wife is encouraged, as they are married and are not committing adultery. As sex is giving your whole self to another, don't you think it would be wrong to save a little for yourself (masturbation)? It's like telling someone that you will give them a whole cake. When you give them that cake, there are pieces missing! These missing pieces are like when masturbate. The Church isn't trying to ruin sexuality, no they don't want to. Church law doesn't exist for trying to control people when you see it in a logical light.

Pax et bonum!

The 6th commandment says "adultery", which is having sex with someone else's wife or husband. It doesn't say "masturbation".

Every advice the Bible gives, including the Ten Commandments, is reasonable in a sense of making life easier. No killing, no adultery, no stealing and so on avoids conflicts with others.
Eating no porc and no meat containing blood avoids disease - considering the authors of the Bible were living in a hot country without refrigerators.

The Bible doesn't tell about the reasons for its advices, because the authors knew the rules would rather be obeyed for fear of God's punishment than for any other reason or common sense.

The Bible doesn't say anything about whether masturbation is allowed or forbidden, because it didn't seem to be necessary.

And if it did, I guess it would rather allow it, because it calms down and therefore avoids aggressive behavior and rapes.

So for my opinion, it is up to everyone of us, if we masturbate or not. You have decided not to, so I wish you good luck. But I am afraid people around you must suffer your foul mood coming from suppressing your urges.

[phuckphace]

But I am afraid people around you must suffer your foul mood coming from suppressing your urges.

you should read my last post (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3018403&postcount=18). it's not about "suppressing" the urges or claiming that sexual desires are innately sinful.

you really expect the Bible to exhaustively list every sin possible for people to commit? it doesn't need to, because it provides the moral framework for a moral life and common sense would tell you that people can infer from that what is sin and what isn't.

[Kochanek]

Who decides, what is a sin? A jewish joke says: "Five Rabbis, six different opinions."

It is always a personal interpretation of the Bible, the Thora, the Quran...

So if someone thinks, that having desires is a sin (no human being without desires, so none without sin), it is only the question if it is less sinful to stop the desires by masturbation or to go without masturbation and have the desires further on.

[benbeny]

The 6th commandment says "adultery", which is having sex with someone else's wife or husband. It doesn't say "masturbation".

Every advice the Bible gives, including the Ten Commandments, is reasonable in a sense of making life easier. No killing, no adultery, no stealing and so on avoids conflicts with others.
Eating no porc and no meat containing blood avoids disease - considering the authors of the Bible were living in a hot country without refrigerators.

The Bible doesn't tell about the reasons for its advices, because the authors knew the rules would rather be obeyed for fear of God's punishment than for any other reason or common sense.

The Bible doesn't say anything about whether masturbation is allowed or forbidden, because it didn't seem to be necessary.

And if it did, I guess it would rather allow it, because it calms down and therefore avoids aggressive behavior and rapes.

So for my opinion, it is up to everyone of us, if we masturbate or not. You have decided not to, so I wish you good luck. But I am afraid people around you must suffer your foul mood coming from suppressing your urges.
I really agree. It's all about the context. And remember, at the time Bible was made, science wasn't as advanced as now, that should be considered too regarding the laws of the Church.
BUT, if someone really insists to look at the Bible, try to open Leviticus 15:1-18 and please always consider the context.

[samii]

Spend more and more time with family and don't be get alone

[Beth]

Have someone tie your hands behind your back and watch ya go nucking futs

[audiophile5]

Do something whenever you feel like masturbating. Even if it's tidying your room, eating, washing the dishes. Something that'll keep both your mind and your body occupied.

[Body odah Man]

Do something whenever you feel like masturbating. Even if it's tidying your room, eating, washing the dishes. Something that'll keep both your mind and your body occupied.

Good advice!

[Kochanek]

I really agree. It's all about the context. And remember, at the time Bible was made, science wasn't as advanced as now, that should be considered too regarding the laws of the Church.
BUT, if someone really insists to look at the Bible, try to open Leviticus 15:1-18 and please always consider the context.

The Bible - especially the Old Testament - is three things:
1 - the early history of the Israelites
2 - a summary of rules and good advice, that make life easier
3 - an attempt to explain the world from the point of view 5000 years ago

They didn't have a clue at that time, that it didn't God take six days to create everything like it already is, but by only snipping his fingers some 13.000.000.000 years ago God created a huge amount of laws of nature: the software, that made everything going. Some call this divine finger snip the "big bang" :-)

My opinion: As the Bible does mention masturbation only indirectly in the story about Onan (1st Mose, ch. 38) without telling, if it is good or bad, it is up to everyone of us to decide, if masturbating is allowed or not, if we want to do it or not.

The thread starter decided, not to masturbate - which is to accept and respect. But I am afraid, there is no remedy to lower the urges to masturbate. So he needs a lot of self control and maybe will fail from time to time. I hope he won't feel guilty about it.

[benbeny]

The Bible - especially the Old Testament - is three things:
1 - the early history of the Israelites
2 - a summary of rules and good advice, that make life easier
3 - an attempt to explain the world from the point of view 5000 years ago

They didn't have a clue at that time, that it didn't God take six days to create everything like it already is, but by only snipping his fingers some 13.000.000.000 years ago God created a huge amount of laws of nature: the software, that made everything going. Some call this divine finger snip the "big bang" :-)

My opinion: As the Bible does mention masturbation only indirectly in the story about Onan (1st Mose, ch. 38) without telling, if it is good or bad, it is up to everyone of us to decide, if masturbating is allowed or not, if we want to do it or not.

The thread starter decided, not to masturbate - which is to accept and respect. But I am afraid, there is no remedy to lower the urges to masturbate. So he needs a lot of self control and maybe will fail from time to time. I hope he won't feel guilty about it.
I really agree, it's all about personal choice, cause what's the purpose God created common sense if we human won't use it?
I really hope the thread starter can really do whatever he thinks good, and with sincere heart I wish him luck.
Afterall, men created with freedom to think and decide which is the wisest and best thing to do in a specific circumstances.

[Arsenalfan123]

Not religious but I don't think you can go just "cold turkey" you need to gradually do it and take up hobbies etc

[onewingedangel666]

Oh don't worry, you can get off scott free just before you die! As long as you accept Jesus even the most murderous, barbaric, sinful person will be brought into heaven with open arms.
isn't that nice...

[Decimus]

Thanks to everyone who responded. I'll try what all of you suggested and see what happens. Again, I didn't start this thread to try and show how holy I am (holy is a massive stretch). I started this thread because I am tired of my previous lifestyle. I don't get any fulfillment from masturbation and I feel more guilt than before. This will probably be my New Year's resolution.

Pax et bonum.

[cami]

You can try this:

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/015/909/Xa5Vjjt.jpg

[Body odah Man]

Oh don't worry, you can get off scott free just before you die! As long as you accept Jesus even the most murderous, barbaric, sinful person will be brought into heaven with open arms.
isn't that nice...

Um, it has to be true repentance and acceptation of Jesus, not just saying that you accept him on your deathbed. Besides, those people can mostly not accept Jezus

[Body odah Man]

You can try this:

image (http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/015/909/Xa5Vjjt.jpg)

Is that REAL??? That looks so messed up.

[thetransylvanianguy]

Perhaps you could try to stop it by praying,confessing and by trying to resist the temptation. Try to hang out with friends,read books,focus on your academic progress... Is your family/area socially conservative regarding this?

[cami]

Is that REAL??? That looks so messed up.

I'm not sure, but you can find some funny comments on that webpage (stopmasturbationnow) :P
I hope it's fake lol

[Body odah Man]

Perhaps you could try to stop it by praying,confessing and by trying to resist the temptation. Try to hang out with friends,read books,focus on your academic progress... Is your family/area socially conservative regarding this?

Sorry to intrude on this post with my own issues, but, well..I'm selfish like that :(
While your advice is really good, resisting is rlly hard. It's like having a rlly rlly rlly persistent itch you just can't scratch! It's maddening! How DO you resist it??
As for the praying: that helps at times, but not forever (least for me). Does that mean I'm doing something wrong?

I'm not sure, but you can find some funny comments on that webpage (stopmasturbationnow) :P
I hope it's fake lol

Hope so too. Not only is it a pretty depressing view, but I think that thing they advertise counts as some sort of torture instrument for kids.

[thetransylvanianguy]

Well,to be honest,I do not resist it too much either. But I still try... I am 'officially' Christian Orthodox,I am quite familiar with the teachings and the traditions of the Christian Church,but I am actually irreligious (although religious affiliation is not relevant for the purposes of this discussion). You may try to speak to your parents about this issue. If they are religious,they should be more than eager to make you go to the 'straight path'. Even if the Catholic and the Orthodox churches have similar teachings about sexuality (sexuality does not necessarily mean sexual orientation),it seems that the Catholic church is more open and more 'tolerant' about sexual issues.

[Body odah Man]

Well,to be honest,I do not resist it too much either. But I still try... I am 'officially' Christian Orthodox,I am quite familiar with the teachings and the traditions of the Christian Church,but I am actually irreligious (although religious affiliation is not relevant for the purposes of this discussion). You may try to speak to your parents about this issue. If they are religious,they should be more than eager to make you go to the 'straight path'. Even if the Catholic and the Orthodox churches have similar teachings about sexuality (sexuality does not necessarily mean sexual orientation),it seems that the Catholic church is more open and more 'tolerant' about sexual issues.

Ah pity.

[Tony_777]

You can try this:

image (/entries/icons/original/000/015/909/Xa5Vjjt.jpg)

Sometimes I feel like i need one of those... Do they have larger ones :D