Ex's Bf troubles

[Saint of Sinners]

Ok first up I am 100% over my ex, and have no intention whatsoever of getting back together. We are, however, still good friends, as we were already before the relationship.

Thing is my ex's bf is quite a big douche -_-. I've talked to him briefly before and he came across as....manipulative. Let's just say my ex is a little naive, and he seems to use it to his advantage, once even threatening suicide to, well, I don't know why the fuck he did that honestly. I saw through his bullshit, confronted him, and he replied something to the likes of 'don't worry I know what I'm doing'. Showed it to her and they remained friends somehow. Okay.....

Now they're dating she keeps complaining about how they argue and how he's unreasonable, ignoring her and stuff. The usual. I usually wouldn't worry that much as I wouldn't want to interfere in a couple's affairs but then she starts saying about how she really wants to break up with him but Everytime she does he acts all sad and convinces her to stay. I reckon that's a pretty dick move. I know my ex has depression and self confidence issues so I think the guilt trip and the 'if you don't have me nobody else would want you' kinda bullshit really gets her, and without interference this issue will not resolve itself.

Long story short I'm pretty sure this guy's a dick and I'm not just being jealous. Problem is how to convince my friend to leave him once and for all without sounding like a jealous ex? I've tried the subtle 'do what makes you happy' stuff but she's still with him and still as unhappy. I want to be more direct but I would hate to be cast as the relationship breaking jealous ex boyfriend, which I'm really not:/. I'm genuinely concerned about her wellbeing as a friend.

What should I do?

[Body odah Man]

I agree with you; that is one terrible guy. Manipulating a lady like that! For shame! Sadly I don't know how to help you fix these things cuz it seems like he has a great hold on her. Only thing you can do is hope that the chick sees through him and fixes things herself :(

[Saint of Sinners]

I agree with you; that is one terrible guy. Manipulating a lady like that! For shame! Sadly I don't know how to help you fix these things cuz it seems like he has a great hold on her. Only thing you can do is hope that the chick sees through him and fixes things herself :(

Ikr. Don't see what I can do either. Hopefully she gets the courage to leave him

[maniamsmart]

Send her to me, let me talk to her :P Just kidding, but really, I could fix it :D

Anyway, there are several things you can do. One method is talk to the boyfriend more, and somehow break him out of his bullshit shell and get him to say something that will show proof for him being a dick or manipulating her, and then showing it to your ex (your friend) and hopefully it convinces her enough and makes her angry enough to leave him on her own.

Another method you can try is showing her how he is being a bad bf. Compare your thoughts of a good bf and tell her how you feel a good bf should act, and then compare it to her bf now, and point out all the wrongs. Perhaps this will make her understand a bit more, and not be so dependent on him.

Lastly, you could also try and let her stay with the guy, and continue to let her be unhappy until she eventually has had enough and ends up leaving him. Right now she is stubborn, and being really attached to this one guy, because of his manipulating, and if the other two methods don't work, then maybe she just needs to learn the hard way. Many people only learn by this way, and there isn't really anything to help them. I've gotten into so many situations where I was 100% right, and the other person doesn't listen, you just have to let them learn on their own and earn that experience so that they can learn next time. Perhaps you should tell her this.

Other than these three methods, I really can't think of anything else, because you've already confronted him, and it seemed to not work. These situations can be tough, and sometimes can even lead to friendships breaking, don't let it get to that point. If she decides to pick method three, be there for her and support her and be a good friend still.

[Saint of Sinners]

Send her to me, let me talk to her :P Just kidding, but really, I could fix it :D

Anyway, there are several things you can do. One method is talk to the boyfriend more, and somehow break him out of his bullshit shell and get him to say something that will show proof for him being a dick or manipulating her, and then showing it to your ex (your friend) and hopefully it convinces her enough and makes her angry enough to leave him on her own.

Another method you can try is showing her how he is being a bad bf. Compare your thoughts of a good bf and tell her how you feel a good bf should act, and then compare it to her bf now, and point out all the wrongs. Perhaps this will make her understand a bit more, and not be so dependent on him.

Lastly, you could also try and let her stay with the guy, and continue to let her be unhappy until she eventually has had enough and ends up leaving him. Right now she is stubborn, and being really attached to this one guy, because of his manipulating, and if the other two methods don't work, then maybe she just needs to learn the hard way. Many people only learn by this way, and there isn't really anything to help them. I've gotten into so many situations where I was 100% right, and the other person doesn't listen, you just have to let them learn on their own and earn that experience so that they can learn next time. Perhaps you should tell her this.

Other than these three methods, I really can't think of anything else, because you've already confronted him, and it seemed to not work. These situations can be tough, and sometimes can even lead to friendships breaking, don't let it get to that point. If she decides to pick method three, be there for her and support her and be a good friend still.

Thanks. That's some good advice.

[maniamsmart]

Thanks. That's some good advice.

Thanks and no problem, it's what I am here for :)

[Body odah Man]

Ikr. Don't see what I can do either. Hopefully she gets the courage to leave him

Agreed. Agreed. Hopefully someone here can help

[maniamsmart]

Agreed. Agreed. Hopefully someone here can help

Haha, yeah maybe a second opinion would be great :)

[Body odah Man]

So true