Friend's Boyfriend Being Innapropriate

[Jajahugumuju]

I'm in my first year of college, and one of my new friends has a slightly older boyfriend. I'm good friends with both of them so naturally I have them both on social media and snapchat. At the moment they're living together because of housing issues but anyway, when she is asleep or not home, he is always we are talking on snapchat and I feel like he's being a bit inappropriate. Like sending about 5 kisses on every message and asking me what underwear i'm wearing. Sometimes more graphic, but it's always during conversations about sex or exes so I didn't really notice, and thought it was just dirty jokes which is normal. But he's said a couple of times now that can whatever is said on snapchat stay between us.
Anyway so my question is am I overreacting? All I know is that if I was his girlfriend I wouldn't be happy about it. Also as a side note, not sure if it's relevant or not but he met his current gf by cheating on his ex, and she was one of a few. Any advice appreciated, sorry it's log. Thanks

[Uranus]

You are absolutely NOT overreacting!
You need to stop this immediately. He is being very inappropriate and you need to tell his girlfriend about this..like right now and block him. Take a screenshot and show her what he is saying. When he says it can stay between you and him, he's gonna keep trying to get even more involved with you in a very inappropriate way.

All you have to do is tell her, block him, and see what happens .

[SethfromMI]

^ exactly. you need to confront him and do not talk to him about those things period. you should probably let your friend know as well

[maniamsmart]

You are not overreacting. However, I can understand why you may think you are, because both of them are your friends. Now while I do agree with the others and think you should tell his girlfriend, I would also suggest telling him. He is your friend too, isn't he? And if you want the relationship to work between him and his girlfriend then maybe you should ask him why he is doing the things he is doing. Ask him how he would feel if his girlfriend did something like that too. Ask him how he would feel if he was his girlfriend.

While it may be the right thing to do and tell your friend that her boyfriend is flirting and perhaps being disloyal to her, it's also good to tell him what he is doing wrong. Perhaps you don't have to be the cause of the relationship to be ruined if you don't want to be, however, if he continues, then you should tell his girlfriend (your friend), because then he obviously doesn't have any respect for you or her.

I don't personally know the guy, so I can't point fingers and say he is bad, he is disloyal, tell on him, and get him stop. Maybe he doesn't realize it? Maybe he really is just joking? It's best to talk to him about it first, maturely and if you feel the need to tell your friend about what he has been doing then go right ahead, because she does deserve to know. But if you see that he is sincere, apologizes, doesn't do it again, and shows respect then perhaps you don't need to risk their relationship.

I don't know any of the people as well as you do though, I am just giving you different perspectives to look from to help give you some more options, and let you decide which option is best for you. Hope this helps.

[Semi_IronMan]

U need to put him in his place

[Jajahugumuju]

You are not overreacting. However, I can understand why you may think you are, because both of them are your friends. Now while I do agree with the others and think you should tell his girlfriend, I would also suggest telling him. He is your friend too, isn't he? And if you want the relationship to work between him and his girlfriend then maybe you should ask him why he is doing the things he is doing. Ask him how he would feel if his girlfriend did something like that too. Ask him how he would feel if he was his girlfriend.

While it may be the right thing to do and tell your friend that her boyfriend is flirting and perhaps being disloyal to her, it's also good to tell him what he is doing wrong. Perhaps you don't have to be the cause of the relationship to be ruined if you don't want to be, however, if he continues, then you should tell his girlfriend (your friend), because then he obviously doesn't have any respect for you or her.

I don't personally know the guy, so I can't point fingers and say he is bad, he is disloyal, tell on him, and get him stop. Maybe he doesn't realize it? Maybe he really is just joking? It's best to talk to him about it first, maturely and if you feel the need to tell your friend about what he has been doing then go right ahead, because she does deserve to know. But if you see that he is sincere, apologizes, doesn't do it again, and shows respect then perhaps you don't need to risk their relationship.

I don't know any of the people as well as you do though, I am just giving you different perspectives to look from to help give you some more options, and let you decide which option is best for you. Hope this helps.


Ok thank you loads! I a bit of a flirt myself, I've never seen anything wrong with it but he is a bit touchy and it just makes me uncomfortable. Thanks to everyone else too, it seems that you all agree that it's weird. I'll definitely talk to him does now thank you!

[maniamsmart]

Ok thank you loads! I a bit of a flirt myself, I've never seen anything wrong with it but he is a bit touchy and it just makes me uncomfortable. Thanks to everyone else too, it seems that you all agree that it's weird. I'll definitely talk to him does now thank you!

Glad I could help, if you need anything else we'll be here :)

[Saint of Sinners]

Thing is you might not be the only one he does that with. If so, your friend has a problem.