Confused and tired of it all

[Cobaltium27]

I feel like everything would be better if i would just die already. One less bad student to worry about at school. One less depressed lazy teenage for the family to worry about. One less worthless person in society. I dont even care about myself at this point. The only reason I dont kill myself is because how hard it would be for my mom. The thought of suicide doesnt even bother me anymore because I think about it every day. Its a cowardly selfish thing to do but I cant keep going like this. It all just feels so hopeless...

It feels like i have nothing to look forward to in my life. Im not even going to graduate because i cant even bring myself do my school work and nearly every job i can think of requires a highschool diploma. Im getting kicked out of the house as soon as i finish my senior year and without a job how am i going to get somewhere to live? I cant even talk to anybody about this because im scared of how they will react... I cant help but feel horrible because i cant even talk to my family. I just dont know what else to do...

[James Dean]

Oh I'm sorry you have school and family issues :(, take a minute to calm down. Take a notebook or journal or something and maybe every week or so, possibly even do it daily if you need to, and just do the following. Just jot down things that you experienced or saw. Use this to reflect on everything that you are dealing with positive and negative. Start writing down things you want to accomplish, people who you go can turn to or consider close to, people who you might not get along with. Write down feelings you may have towards something or someone. This should be a first step in order to prepare and structure yourself to get out of his endless pit you seem to be in. It is very easily to quit and give up and feel hopeless. Don't be an easy person, be a person who has a story to tell and respect the character that you have.

Not everyone is going to treat you the same way. That is just how life operates and you have to accept that. Get your education needs in order, try really hard to do extra school work, study with classmates, talk to school counselors and superiors. I know you can do it and I have lots of hope that you can. Talk with your family and maybe you guys can work something out together. You can pay rent or contribute to the bills and food shopping. Do community work, network and go hunting for part time jobs or learn a trade to get some pocket money for yourself, consider going to college perhaps?

The choice that you made to open yourself up here and talk about it is good in itself. It's going to be fine, don't let haters or ignorant people destroy you. Calm yourself down and plan how you are going to deal with each situations now and before they happen and don't give up. :)