Inner monster

[eightpointhunter]

For a while I've been fighting a monster inside myself. I have let it take control twice and once I hit my little sister in the chest(where that really loose bone that can kill you is in the center) and the other I talked about committing suicide. I have found ways to subdue it for a short period of time, but I can't kill it for good. When it takes even a little bit of control, I am angry, violent, and generally dangerous. It is always in my mind and makes me think things I'd rather not think of. It's been 4 years since it has taken control, but I am losing this fight, slowly but surely. If anyone can help, please do. ( I have found angry songs really help to subdue it for a while, so if anyone has any of those they could share to help me, please do that also)

[Hideous]

Do you have anger issues? Do you know the reason why you're angry? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion that we all express but sometimes, it can be harmful to yourself and those around you. You said you hit your little sister? That's totally unacceptable. If you resort to violence, use a pillow as an alternative.

Think about the things that trigger you. By looking for factors in situations that could possible trigger your anger, this will help you in the long run.

Take a time out, tell yourself "if I do this, what will be the consequences?", "I will not let this get the best of me" and it will get you out of the situation you're in.

Talk to someone. Friends and family can be great sources of support if you’re feeling angry and frustrated... as long are you’re talking with them in positive ways and not taking your anger out on them.

Why do you want to commit suicide?

All problems can be fixed or be left in the past. I am here for you, we are here for you and I'm sure your family is there for you too.

"Everything will be fine in the end; If it's not, it's not the end."
-Unknown

This is all I can say for now, if your actions and behavior continues, please contact a mental health professional as soon as possible.

[eightpointhunter]

It's been 4 years since the suicide talk and 7 since I hit my sister. I tried talking to my family but they said I'm lying, and I do think of consequences, it's the only reason I haven't gone beserk yet. My main triggers are when my family says they buy me a lot of stuff or i don't do anything. I buy my own clothes, shoes, games, etc... and I do most of the chores in our house. Thank you for being here, you guys are better than my family.

[Atom]

I've had it for some time... I've learned to live with it and even enjoy it. It made me a hell of a lot smarter.

By the way, there is nothing wrong with you, like most of the doctors would say. It is in our nature.

But if you would rather get rid of this "monster", then you should go out and socialise with new people.

There is a great song that I want you to listen to. It's Hozier - Arsonist's Lullabye.

About angry music... What do you mean by "angry"? I might be able to help you out on this one.