Hi er.. This is awkward.

[Brik_420]

The fact is, love is not enough. Love is never enough because love is not rational.
I'm brand new here, and this is my
first post but imma try and cut to
the chase,
my name is scott.
I'm a 15 year old insomniac, bulimic,
drug, alcohol abuser and an avid
self harmer. I sometimes burn
myself with cigarettes at parties, and
I think that's attention seeking.
Anyways XD thanks to the absence of
my self confidence and esteem I
haven't had so much as a crush, in
the slightest, for the past five years.
Cause I know that I don't deserve to
love plus I come with way too much
(emo)baggage for most anyone. The
few people who care about me are
too ill equipped for me to talk to.
Oh and did I mention that I'm
suicidal? The reason being that: now
I'm in my darkest hour in terms of
loathing life itself, I've met a girl.
And when there was no ear to hear
me out, she sang to me. She
breathes essence into my excuse for
a life, but the more time I spend
with her, the more I want to die.
I'm on my way out because she is
like forbidden fruit to me. I just
CANNOT have her.
But tl;dr right?

[BDOG]

The fact is, love is not enough. Love is never enough because love is not rational.
I'm brand new here, and this is my
first post but imma try and cut to
the chase,
my name is scott.
I'm a 15 year old insomniac, bulimic,
drug, alcohol abuser and an avid
self harmer. I sometimes burn
myself with cigarettes at parties, and
I think that's attention seeking.
Anyways XD thanks to the absence of
my self confidence and esteem I
haven't had so much as a crush, in
the slightest, for the past five years.
Cause I know that I don't deserve to
love plus I come with way too much
(emo)baggage for most anyone. The
few people who care about me are
too ill equipped for me to talk to.
Oh and did I mention that I'm
suicidal? The reason being that: now
I'm in my darkest hour in terms of
loathing life itself, I've met a girl.
And when there was no ear to hear
me out, she sang to me. She
breathes essence into my excuse for
a life, but the more time I spend
with her, the more I want to die.
I'm on my way out because she is
like forbidden fruit to me. I just
CANNOT have her.
But tl;dr right?

You'll never find out if you don't try; clearly she cares about you... Love isn't destroyed by baggage; Love's strength is empowered by being able to look past one another's baggage and see the real person. It doesn't matter what has been done in the past; it matters what you can do right now. Love will change your life, the sooner you find Love the sooner you find happiness and the sooner you can turn the energy caused by heartache and pain into something beautiful. Just go get her man, it'll be the best decision you've ever made.

[maniamsmart]

I think you're being a bit too hard on yourself. If you feel like you're a bad person and you are forbidden from doing things, I think you should look at your life from a more positive perspective. Sure you have made mistakes in the past, and maybe you feel like you won't be able to ever fix those mistakes, but here's something I have always gone by: A person is never judged, or shouldn't ever be judged by the mistakes they make, but how they handle these mistakes, and how they solve and make up for them.

I think you can turn your life around, and I think if you really do seek for love, and if you try and think positively and get out of your negative mindset that seems to not want to forgive yourself, then I think you should be fine. Love can change your life as the poster above stated, and I agree it can, but if you aren't going to try, attempt, or even give yourself a chance, you'll never find out.