Hi er.. This is awkward.

[Brik_420]

The fact is, love is not enough. Love is
never enough because love is not
rational.
I'm brand new here, and this is my first post but imma try and cut to the chase,
my name is scott.
I'm a 15 year old insomniac, bulimic, drug, alcohol abuser and an avid self harmer. I sometimes burn myself with cigarettes at parties, and I think that's attention seeking.
Anyways XD thanks to the absence of my self confidence and esteem I haven't had so much as a crush, in the slightest, for the past five years.
Cause I know that I don't deserve to love plus I come with way too much (emo)baggage for most anyone. The few people who care about me are too ill equipped for me to talk to.
Oh and did I mention that I'm suicidal? The reason being that: now I'm in my darkest hour in terms of loathing life itself, I've met a girl.
And when there was no ear to hear me out, she sang to me. She breathes essence into my excuse for a life, but the more time I spend with her, the more I want to die.
I'm on my way out because she is like forbidden fruit to me. I just CANNOT have her.
But tl;dr right?

[Mob Boss]

Literally every thing with at least one cell deserves love. I don't know a single person that is undeserving of love. It is a chemical reaction in the brain and an emotion. It is not a 4,000 Chanel bag. To a degree, I used to feel undeserving of love. I never did anything wrong and help people as often as possible, so I didn't understand. Then I met an amazing guy and long story short.... I fucking love him loving me, and loving him in return.
And maybe love isn't rational. Is killing oneself rational, though? Is burning oneself rational? Hell, is anything we do rational anymore? If you found a good thing in your life, I think you should hold onto that good thing. The way you speak about her is like she is waking you up from a really dark sleep. BUT i am all for self love. You need to learn to love yourself. The you battling an eating disorder. And the you that might be labeled "emo", whatever that means. You have to love yourself. I can't recall anyone saying "I love myself. I'm thinking of suicide." Seek professional help for the thoughts and the eating disorder and even for the alcohol/drug abuse. You're 15. You have a world ahead of you. Seek it.