Hudor
December 9th, 2014, 08:12 AM
I've been in a dilemma for a while regarding the first chapter of novel and i thought it would be best to turn to VTers for some help. The issue is that I've thought of two alternative beginnings to the story and i cannot decide which seems better. Can you help me choose? It would be great to have some help.
Here's the first.
It was past midnight, the time when utter darkness cloaked the entire world, draping over the huts, the glades, the animals and even the stars above. There was a silence except for the chattering of the crickets and the wind rustling against the leaves, the only sounds that distinguished Earth, the thriving world from the Cideron. Then they stopped.
From the vast nothingness a soft voice issued, "Savien is it time." Though it was barely a whisper, in the absolute stillness it sounded loud as a horn. Several long moments passed, emphasized by the absence of the whistling wind and the ever-changing moon. Then a deep, grave voice boomed into the quiet saying, "Yes i believe it is."
Here's the second
Far away, across a thousand different worlds and worldly interfaces, it was past midnight in Northern Oceania. It was the time when utter darkness cloaked the savage water, the islands of ice and even the stars above. The place was harsh, lifeless and almost impervious to the ravages of time-not unlike Cideron.
Frosty winds howled as they sped across the vast glaciers and the forest of icicles that broke through the silvery sand like jagged thorns. Waves constantly pounded against the ice and rocks and occasionally with a deafening rumble, ice cleaved off the huge glaciers and floated away to form newer islands. Though lifeless, nothing here was ever static. The relentless sea, the travelling ice and the ever-changing moon defied the place the stillness and silence that had plagued Cideron; imprisoning it in its past and dooming it to have no future.
All of a sudden, all activities paused. Huge pillars of water loomed menacingly above the rocks, their foamy crests paused in the action of tipping over. In the absence of the howling winds, an abrupt silence fell over the world as the world seemed to have frozen in time.
Dispelling the darkness two shimmering figures exploded into being, bathing the frozen world in pale silvery light. They resembled humans in their physical details except for the fact that they were shaped from pure light and had each a pair of wings sprouting from their backs that they unfurled at that moment and rose in streaks of white, landing on a flat surface high on the sheer face of a cliff that rose from the ocean, far from any other landmasses.
“Savien is it time?”
The creature that was Savien gazed at the world spreading below lost in deep contemplation. Several long moments passed before he turned to face the other, his face uncharacteristically harsh, and answered in a grave voice, “Yes, I believe it is.”
Here's the first.
It was past midnight, the time when utter darkness cloaked the entire world, draping over the huts, the glades, the animals and even the stars above. There was a silence except for the chattering of the crickets and the wind rustling against the leaves, the only sounds that distinguished Earth, the thriving world from the Cideron. Then they stopped.
From the vast nothingness a soft voice issued, "Savien is it time." Though it was barely a whisper, in the absolute stillness it sounded loud as a horn. Several long moments passed, emphasized by the absence of the whistling wind and the ever-changing moon. Then a deep, grave voice boomed into the quiet saying, "Yes i believe it is."
Here's the second
Far away, across a thousand different worlds and worldly interfaces, it was past midnight in Northern Oceania. It was the time when utter darkness cloaked the savage water, the islands of ice and even the stars above. The place was harsh, lifeless and almost impervious to the ravages of time-not unlike Cideron.
Frosty winds howled as they sped across the vast glaciers and the forest of icicles that broke through the silvery sand like jagged thorns. Waves constantly pounded against the ice and rocks and occasionally with a deafening rumble, ice cleaved off the huge glaciers and floated away to form newer islands. Though lifeless, nothing here was ever static. The relentless sea, the travelling ice and the ever-changing moon defied the place the stillness and silence that had plagued Cideron; imprisoning it in its past and dooming it to have no future.
All of a sudden, all activities paused. Huge pillars of water loomed menacingly above the rocks, their foamy crests paused in the action of tipping over. In the absence of the howling winds, an abrupt silence fell over the world as the world seemed to have frozen in time.
Dispelling the darkness two shimmering figures exploded into being, bathing the frozen world in pale silvery light. They resembled humans in their physical details except for the fact that they were shaped from pure light and had each a pair of wings sprouting from their backs that they unfurled at that moment and rose in streaks of white, landing on a flat surface high on the sheer face of a cliff that rose from the ocean, far from any other landmasses.
“Savien is it time?”
The creature that was Savien gazed at the world spreading below lost in deep contemplation. Several long moments passed before he turned to face the other, his face uncharacteristically harsh, and answered in a grave voice, “Yes, I believe it is.”