Wanting your views on age differences in relationships.

[AlisterPSG]

I've been thinking quite a lot recently on how couples can be at least two years apart from each other, what bothers me is say when the girl is 13 and the guy is 15 I've heard people say that it's wrong to do this, also heard from somewhere it's rape if they are to have sex?

Tell me what you all think this is confusing me a lot.

[Semi_IronMan]

The man should be atleast 5 years older than the woman in my opinion, as women tend to age faster than men. I don't know if it's rape or not... Think it depends on where u are

[Luminous]

Puberty for All :arrow: Relationships and Dating

[queenofcontrariety]

So basically the age of consent varies from 16 upwards in the us, but it may still be considered statutory until 18 *not overly sure tbh* but I think as you get older an age difference is fine, but until you hit the younger ome being like 15 I don't think it's a great idea. I tend to be a very mature person and prefer older guys at the moment it's just the opportunites to find them is a little difficult being a junior in hs because there aren't too many older guys readily available. I think as you get older Tha gap can widen, but I think in the age range most of us are 2 or 3 years is the max, but eventually my max will probably be like 5. It's very much a sliding scale and aways make sure you only do what you're comfortable with

[Zachary G]

i think it all depends on the persons and their level of maturity that would dictate what the age gap would be. im not saying that a mature 12 yo should be dating a 16 yo or anything like that, but at the same time i dont see anything wrong with a mature 13 yo dating a 15 yo. every circumstance is different, and it becomes more of a personal preference thing at some point.

[maniamsmart]

I don't believe in the whole age gap bullshit. Now if it's something extreme like a 12 year old dating a 20 year old, which I have seen, then there's something wrong there, and that would be considered wrong, unhealthy, and even illegal. However, I tend to like relationships who have an age difference of 4 or less years apart. I would find that acceptable, because I have seen great relationships in those age ranges.

Now everyone's always going to have their own opinion, and then there's always going to be the law that everyone wants to preach. So this is sort of a personal question that you need to answer yourself when you are looking for someone to date. How old do you want them to be or how young do you want them to be. Out of experience, if you date anything over 4 years younger, especially at the teen ages, and maybe even at 3-4 years apart the maturity gap is going to be noticeable. The older you get that doesn't play so much of a factor anymore, and people don't really care anymore. But if you're asking me, for my personal opinion I'd say 4 years over is the max for me. Anything over that I see problematic, not only because of the law, but also because of experience, because of my own knowledge, and because of psychology itself and how the brain develops.

[Saint of Sinners]

If one is under the age of consent and one above the one above can be charged with statutory rape. If both are underage, depending on where you live both might be charged, but usually it's the guy that is charged.Depending on where you live there might be Romeo and Juliet laws to reduce the penalty under certain circumstances. That is if it somehow goes to the police that is.

Personal preference on age difference? I heard it's a sliding scale, like the older you are the less concerned you are about age difference. Idk, I feel mine is two years up and down currently.

[brokeninto2]

I honesly(in my opinion) think that 2-3ish years difference isn't THAT bad, my boyfriend is almost 2 years older, but when you got a lot of age difference, say for example, a 13 year old with an 18 year old, And say for example a 40 year old and 45 year old, the reason why the younger couple may not work is cause their not done maturing, and the 18 will probably be more matured, grown up, etc than the 13 year old, I think that could cause problems? And with sexuality too, I honestly think the age gap that everyone fusses about is directed at people under 20 because well, if a 20 year is dating a 14 year old, whose going to be more mature? It is illegal, too..

But honestly in my opinion it REALLY depends on the people. If a 13 and a 18 year old could work it out, and have a healthy relationship, why should anyone have the right to stop em'?

[maniamsmart]

I honesly(in my opinion) think that 2-3ish years difference isn't THAT bad, my boyfriend is almost 2 years older, but when you got a lot of age difference, say for example, a 13 year old with an 18 year old, And say for example a 40 year old and 45 year old, the reason why the younger couple may not work is cause their not done maturing, and the 18 will probably be more matured, grown up, etc than the 13 year old, I think that could cause problems? And with sexuality too, I honestly think the age gap that everyone fusses about is directed at people under 20 because well, if a 20 year is dating a 14 year old, whose going to be more mature? It is illegal, too..

But honestly in my opinion it REALLY depends on the people. If a 13 and a 18 year old could work it out, and have a healthy relationship, why should anyone have the right to stop em'?

You're my best friend.

[Body odah Man]

I've been thinking quite a lot recently on how couples can be at least two years apart from each other, what bothers me is say when the girl is 13 and the guy is 15 I've heard people say that it's wrong to do this, also heard from somewhere it's rape if they are to have sex?

Tell me what you all think this is confusing me a lot.

Rape is when people are forced to have sex with someone else, not when there's an age difference between 2 people having sex. And a 2 year age difference isn't anything wrong. a 30 eyar old with an 17 year old; that's pedophilia. A 16 and 14 year old? that's normal

[brokeninto2]

You're my best friend.
I could rant about this stuff forever xDD

[SethfromMI]

The man should be atleast 5 years older than the woman in my opinion, as women tend to age faster than men. I don't know if it's rape or not... Think it depends on where u are

so you want an 18 year old man dating a 13 year old girl? that is def wrong here in America

[maniamsmart]

I could rant about this stuff forever xDD

I can too :D

so you want an 18 year old man dating a 13 year old girl? that is def wrong here in America

You're right it is considered very wrong in America, but it's just opinion, and while I may not agree with it either because that age gap is far too large for him, I think that if the two are very serious about it, and do hold true feelings then it could work. With that being said, it would have to be a secret relationship because anyone that hears about it will throw a fit.

However, if 2 people share true love and have strong feelings towards each other and it ends up working out, then what we are gonna do? Nothing we can do, it's their life. So yes, I agree with your post that it is wrong, and I don't support it, but at the same time, it's also important to keep an open mind and know that it is possible, even if it's a small percentage, it can still work... somehow... I wonder how the maturity gap between that age range would be.

[brokeninto2]

I can too :D



You're right it is considered very wrong in America, but it's just opinion, and while I may not agree with it either because that age gap is far too large for him, I think that if the two are very serious about it, and do hold true feelings then it could work. With that being said, it would have to be a secret relationship because anyone that hears about it will throw a fit.

However, if 2 people share true love and have strong feelings towards each other and it ends up working out, then what we are gonna do? Nothing we can do, it's their life. So yes, I agree with your post that it is wrong, and I don't support it, but at the same time, it's also important to keep an open mind and know that it is possible, even if it's a small percentage, it can still work... somehow... I wonder how the maturity gap between that age range would be.

Besides, we may not be giving young people the credit they deserve, what makes it so wrong with a 13 and a 18 year old but yet perfectly fine for a 40 and 45 year old? Suuuuuureee a lot of young people are immature and may not handle it right but, just because majority of young teenager act immature, doesn't mean they all do. There's actually a lot of teenagers/young people who are mature, we're not quite getting the credit we deserve! I myself would never go for someone so much older/younger than me but, what are my opinions to reflect on someone else's?

[Hideous]

I believe if both parties are mature, then sure, why not? It usually depends on how old the youngest actually is. Maybe if you're 25 and your mate was 45, then I have no problem with that.

[Uranus]

In my own opinion, I don't really see anything wrong with age. It's really the least of worries. I don't see age being the main issue(I guess..) in a relationship, but more likely the level of maturity between the two. There's only certain circumstances where age is an issue. If the male was 15 and the girl was 13, it's not really an issue. And vise versa, if in which case the girl was older, which I have seen, because both my grandmothers are older than my grandfathers. Now if one was 14-16 and was dating/in a relationship with, a 11-12 year old it may be a problem. And if one was over 18 and dating a 15(And under) yr old it's definitely an issue.... But it all goes back to the level of maturity.

[brokeninto2]

In my own opinion, I don't really see anything wrong with age. It's really the least of worries. I don't see age being the main issue(I guess..) in a relationship, but more likely the level of maturity between the two. There's only certain circumstances where age is an issue. If the male was 15 and the girl was 13, it's not really an issue. And vise versa, if in which case the girl was older, which I have seen, because both my grandmothers are older than my grandfathers. Now if one was 14-16 and was dating/in a relationship with, a 11-12 year old it may be a problem. And if one was over 18 and dating a 15(And under) yr old it's definitely an issue.... But it all goes back to the level of maturity.

Exactly!! Girls tend to mature faster I honestly think, but that's my opinion, maybe its cause the motherly instinct or the fact that a select shark week of the month but like said before that in itself depends on the person themselves, I often look around at the boys in my grade thinking to myself "Their all immature wow I'd never date any of them" but there are a few that are mature I guess, depends on the person..

[Uranus]

Exactly!! Girls tend to mature faster I honestly think, but that's my opinion, maybe its cause the motherly instinct or the fact that a select shark week of the month but like said before that in itself depends on the person themselves, I often look around at the boys in my grade thinking to myself "Their all immature wow I'd never date any of them" but there are a few that are mature I guess, depends on the person..

I don't think one gender actually matures faster than the other. It just looks like it. But I see your point. :)

[maniamsmart]

Besides, we may not be giving young people the credit they deserve, what makes it so wrong with a 13 and a 18 year old but yet perfectly fine for a 40 and 45 year old? Suuuuuureee a lot of young people are immature and may not handle it right but, just because majority of young teenager act immature, doesn't mean they all do. There's actually a lot of teenagers/young people who are mature, we're not quite getting the credit we deserve! I myself would never go for someone so much older/younger than me but, what are my opinions to reflect on someone else's?

Thank you for voicing your opinion, I completely agree with it too. I have met some very very mature 12 year olds, even more mature than some 18 year olds, so I know it's very possible.

[AlisterPSG]

Thanks for your answers guys, I feel a lot better now thinking on this subject now. Of course the main reason of this question is because I'm in a relationship with a thirteen year old and someone I knew said "That's wrong" (although I think he was jealous) Then I was looking it up recently age gaps and age of consent so I started thinking what if this was bad. But thanks, answered my question plus gave me a better understanding.

Quite a debate though.

[maniamsmart]

Thanks for your answers guys, I feel a lot better now thinking on this subject now. Of course the main reason of this question is because I'm in a relationship with a thirteen year old and someone I knew said "That's wrong" (although I think he was jealous) Then I was looking it up recently age gaps and age of consent so I started thinking what if this was bad. But thanks, answered my question plus gave me a better understanding.

Quite a debate though.

I think 13 and 15 year old is fine :)