Can I talk to someone?

[Lovelife090994]

Things are only getting worse at home. My mother still doesn't approve or anything I do. She thinks I've brought spirits into her home. She freaked when she saw I tied my hair back to keep it neat. She says it's girly and that it's demonic for a guy to be girly. She keeps saying I'm a boy. I told her she doesn't know everything and threatens to slap me, exorcise me, and rip out my laptop and phone which are my only lifeline since I am stuck at home until I start college. I feel crazier than usual and want to cry. I can't talk to my family and my mother thinks I'll attract something and she is so adamant. I officially hate my mother. I don't care if she gave me life, I hate her and her beliefs. I'm miserable every day and in fear she'll kill me and find out all of my secrets. I don't know what to do. I am angry and after her words want to kill her but that will solve nothing. I am spiralling and broken. I don't know what to do. I honestly wish I had the courage to end my life and wish my family cared and that I had somewhere to turn or go. But I don't. I'm trapped. It's bad enough I have trust issues and am shy and timid, now my home situation only gets worse. My mother doesn't respect anything not like society's strict gender roles and her strict Christian garbage that even Jesus would spit on. I don't know how much longer I can take this. It's bad enough that I am not in college due to lack of finances and issues.

[maniamsmart]

You're going through the same stage of life that every teenager goes through at one point in time or another. The best solution that I have given to others, have done myself, and I think is best for you, is to avoid making your mother angry, just do as says, and perhaps talk to her calmly and respectfully about your beliefs, depression, hatred, and dislikes. Living with a family should not be a burden and should not be something you should have to hate. Families are there to care for you, help you, and understand you. As much as you may hate doing it, the only real solution to this problem is to talk to your mom about your feelings and try to do so open-mindedly.

If you need further help on how to do so, then I am going to need more details on what she complains about, why she yells at you, threatens to slap you, and such.

[Lovelife090994]

You're going through the same stage of life that every teenager goes through at one point in time or another. The best solution that I have given to others, have done myself, and I think is best for you, is to avoid making your mother angry, just do as says, and perhaps talk to her calmly and respectfully about your beliefs, depression, hatred, and dislikes. Living with a family should not be a burden and should not be something you should have to hate. Families are there to care for you, help you, and understand you. As much as you may hate doing it, the only real solution to this problem is to talk to your mom about your feelings and try to do so open-mindedly.

If you need further help on how to do so, then I am going to need more details on what she complains about, why she yells at you, threatens to slap you, and such.

I tried talking calmly to her. She tried to slap me and yelled at me claiming she's yelling at my demons. She thinks I have demons and spirits. She's adamant.

[maniamsmart]

I tried talking calmly to her. She tried to slap me and yelled at me claiming she's yelling at my demons. She thinks I have demons and spirits. She's adamant.

Wow, that's some messed up and strange stuff. I would highly recommend talking to your school counselor then maybe.

[EpiccMan]

I can agree that it's your mother regardless of what she does or say, so you should try not to make her angry. Try talking to her again, if you have an older sibling or you can rely on your father that would help a lot (preferably if they aren't Christians too). When are you going to college? If she keeps being irrational, you'd better ignore whatever she says until you leave. It's not your fault if she doesn't want to hear.

[Hudor]

You know well enough that until you have a job you cannot move out of your mom's house considering everything you've ever stated. Even though i hate to say this for now i think you should follow your mom's rules as long as you're in her house. I wouldn't ask you to do everything she wants you to and be a slave as you once mentioned but follow her rules to the extent that she's reasonably content and will stop pestering you, pushing you to do things you don't want to. This will help reduce some troubles which i think are avoidable for you know you cannot move out anytime soon so i don't think there's any point worrying yourself about this to excessive extents.