i dont know what to do and its tearing me apart

[xHUNGNASTYx]

About two months ago i met a guy through online profiles, with the intention of just another hookup, i never thought much.(ive never been in a true relationship before.) But after meeting and getting to know each other, we really connect, things like our comon intrestes, career paths, and horribly dirty sense of humor. We have both agreed to take things slow and build a strong friendship, and build a relationship from there. Ive given small and even quite large hints on how i truly feel about him, keeping in mind the moving slow aspect. Hes made it clear that he lives with 2 roommates, one of which is his most recent ex, from a few months ago (1yr together) it bothers me a little bit, but there are much bigger things that i really dont know what to do. He told me about a week ago that he thinks another guy is really into him, so much so that hes going to give him a brand new phone for free. (This was actually supposed to be the chrismas gift i was getting him) or constantly trying to show him moneys not an issue and practically forces him to take his money or buy him things if they are together. he mentions this guy from time to time when we are together. He said he doesnt see anything with him, but im not sure if l can believe it or not Because he sent him a text similar to what hes told me about his current situation and the taking it slow aspect. He also mentioned that the way this guy is, (i want to say boarder line obsessive about him) is turning him away from wanting to date again. Hearing this pretty much crushed me, and made me feel that all my efforts are getting thrown down the drain, id do things like take him out to dinner, lend him money so he doesnt have to go without things (even though he knows im not in the best financial situation) go out of my way to drive across town and pick him up so he doesnt have to walk home in the cold after work. i even let him drive my custom built car that i swore no one would ever get to drive. Hell i even lent it to him to go pick up his roomamte ex from the airport. Im trying so hard not to come out and say how much ive fallen for him because i dont want to scare him away. Ive subtlety let him know just how much some of the things hes done for me really mean, and how much better my lifes gotten since hes come around but he such a tough read that i really cant tell how he feels about me. I dont know what to do, or where to go from here. But the whole situation is tearing my heart apart to the point that when hes on my mind i dont know if im happy anymore or just want to burst out into tears because it all just hurts so much. My best friends just tell me to walk away, stop talking to him, find someone else and let him go. But i dont think i could just because of the fact that we get along so well, and have so many things in comon.

Any advice would help, or if anyone needs any more clarification just ask.

[Cognizant]

My mind is a bit jumbled right now so I'm going to keep this short and sweet - you need to express your feelings for him. You need to let him know that he's special to you, and that you care about him a lot. And tell him that this other guy is making you uncomfortable.

If you wanna chat about it more feel free to PM or VM me!

[Semi_IronMan]

Sounds like u're treating him like a charity case. Is it possible that he's just not ready for another relationship? He already asked for u to take things slow, why don't u do that instead of u trying to push him

[Hudor]

Do you think this guy could be developing feeling for that obsessive person?

If he wants to take it slow i don't think you can really help it. Neither can you help it if he wants to pursue a relation with that guy.

I completely understand how you feel but if you think the other guy could sweep him off his feet by giving him gifts etc then you don't necessarily have to compete with that guy in charity. I think you should carry your friendship forward with love and dedication as you have been doing. If your crush/ potential bf/ friend has even some sense he would realise what matters more your connect, closeness or the other guy's money.

Although i know guys can be dicks sometimes and i understand it is completely possible he may fall for that guy. In that case I'm sorry to say, you'll have to wait. If the obsessive guy can lure him with money the charm will fade soon and then your guy would probably realise what matters more to him and then i think he would come back to you. You'll have to wait in that case and be ready for the opportunity when it presents itself.
Also if there's more to the situation than just gifts, like your guy may be attracted to more aspects of that person then it could be a different case and then if he falls for him you cannot help it and may have to move on.

I don't think you should rush things and tell him exactly how you feel. That could creep him out. I guess you've got to take it slow and patiently.

Finally if he's texted both if you saying he wants to take it slow, it may be that he needs time and may be trying to distance himself from one of you.

I wish you luck and strength. C:

[xHUNGNASTYx]

I just typed a long message on my phone and it didnt post. Basically today we talked and i though he wasnt ready to date because it might still be too soon is really because he doesnt wsnt to because he has to live with his ex, and would be too hard on a relationship. and im almost certian they still fool around. But he did mention that hes more interested in me than Mr. Obsessive. So im going to try my best to keep my emotions and feelings in line and under control, and see where it goes. So long as hes still showing interest in me, ill continue seening how it developes. But if i see hes loosing interest in me then ill just have to move on. As much as it hurts.