Please help with this girl I'm going crazy!!!!

[Thatoneguy1314]

Hi I'm brand new here! Just made this account to ask this question.
So this girl, I saw her at a dance in mid September, and I have been wanting to talk to her and ask her out, but I am extremely shy. I know her brother, and have recently started talking with her best friend. Problem is I just cannot work myself up to talk to this girl. Ive always been socially.... distant. Never really talked much to anyone before this year, when I decided enough was enough. I wanted friends and I wasn't going to get any by not talking to people. It was very hard for me, but I eventually worked myself into this group of about 8-10 people. We all sit together in a room in the library during lunch and just hang out. Well, the other day she comes in out of nowhere and is now in the room with the rest of us every day. I have this huge crush on her but I just cant work myself up to talk to her and its driving me crazy. We don't share any classes, so that makes it harder. I don't know how to start a conversation with her. I cant do it during lunch really because theres a handful of other people that are in there that talk a lot (despite what I said earlier, I don't talk much still. I get in on convos every other day, but not too often). Anyways I guess this is my question, what should I do? Like I said I know her brother pretty well, and her best friend a little bit. Should I ask one of them about her? I don't think I can do it myself is the problem. Im very self conscience and I absolutely hate being like this but I cant help it. Anyways, Im ugly she is beautiful. So should I try to talk to her brother about her and ask for help? If not, then how/when do I start a conversation with her? I have zero experience in any dating at all, never asked a girl out or anything. Any help is very much appreciated! Thanks for reading!

[maniamsmart]

Firstly, ugly and beautiful has nothing to do with relationships, love and dating (unless that's the only thing you're going for, but then you might as well end your relationship in a week).

As for what you should do. There are a few things you can do to talk to her. To me it seems like you really want to talk to her, but you just don't know what to say. I am sure that if you knew what to say and had something to talk about then you'd have a bit more confidence. So some things you can do is see what she is doing in the library; is she reading a book? Ask her about her book, tell her what books you read. Is she doing homework? Ask her what class she is doing homework for, your opinion on the class, etc. Just watch what she does whether in the library or anywhere else that you may see her and then just bring something up about it. Conversations start because of relations you can make with someone, and it seems like the only relation you have with her is that you like her and you see her here and there.

Another option you have is asking her brother or her friends about what kind of person she is, what she enjoys doing, maybe get to know her through her brother and friends so you can easily come up with something to talk about with her. Maybe even tell her friends you like her, maybe they can help you out even more. If you can't find anything to talk about from when you see her, then ask the people she hangs out with and maybe you can learn more about her and then start a conversation with her.

After you talk to her, and see how she responds and reacts you can pretty much tell if she wants to continue talking to you, has any interest or not. That's when you'll know if you may have a chance; but right now you aren't even there yet.

I think you're just not very confident because you don't know how to start a conversation with her. Hopefully some of these things help you and maybe you'll gain some more confidence. If you have any further questions, I am always in this area of the forum answering questions :)

[Semi_IronMan]

Why do u call yourself ugly? Like Damian said : attractiveness has no role in relationships, if she only goes out with guys who are attractive, she's shallow and u shouldn't waste your time with her. Since u said u know her brother and her bestfriend well, why don't u ask them what she's in to and u can maybe start up a conversation using that information.

P.S: whatever u do. Don't ask her friend or brother to ask her out for u. That's just embarassing

[Thatoneguy1314]

Thanks for the replies! I think I'm going to have to go through the brother or friend. I just can't do it by myself. I can't. I'll plan all day and think about every possible answer she could give and what I would say, but when the time comes I just can't do it. I'm going crazy seeing her 3-5 times a day and not being able to say anything. I don't know what to do. I can't do it by myself.

[Thatoneguy1314]

I mean, it's been 3 months since I first saw her and have been wanting to talk to her since then. I don't think it's gonna happen by myself. I have..... A background with this you could say. 2 years I had a crush on this girl and I never once talked to her. Another for 6 months after that. Then this, 3 months now. It's not gonna happen I just can't do it. It rips me apart to see in my thoughts what I could have but I just can't do it. I wish she somehow accidentally finds out and talks to me first cause There's no hope for me otherwise :(

[maniamsmart]

I mean, it's been 3 months since I first saw her and have been wanting to talk to her since then. I don't think it's gonna happen by myself. I have..... A background with this you could say. 2 years I had a crush on this girl and I never once talked to her. Another for 6 months after that. Then this, 3 months now. It's not gonna happen I just can't do it. It rips me apart to see in my thoughts what I could have but I just can't do it. I wish she somehow accidentally finds out and talks to me first cause There's no hope for me otherwise :(

It's something you're going to have to get over at one point, because you can't always stay like this. But I guess if it really is your only option then I guess you should just do it. Better then doing nothing I guess..

[WALLE]

im the same way but you cant let this stuff get in the way bro. you gotta find it in you to just got and talk to her.

[Thatoneguy1314]

I know what you guys are talking about. My parents are on me about it every day. "Did you talk to her?" "No" "why not". Same thing. I'm just so afraid of being rejected, or looking like a complete loser. I can't get past it and it frustrates me like you wouldn't believe.

[Thatoneguy1314]

So today I was working on a project in the library during a class and she was in there. I kept catching her looking at me. Sometimes she would look away quick but sometimes she'd just stare. Never smiled or anything. I don't know if it was like a flirting thing or if it was just like a "I recognize him" or something. Definitely wasn't a coincidence I don't think. Too many times to be a coincidence.

[maniamsmart]

So today I was working on a project in the library during a class and she was in there. I kept catching her looking at me. Sometimes she would look away quick but sometimes she'd just stare. Never smiled or anything. I don't know if it was like a flirting thing or if it was just like a "I recognize him" or something. Definitely wasn't a coincidence I don't think. Too many times to be a coincidence.

Could very well be a sign of interest, and not just recognizing you.

[CreativeUsername]

I was actually in a very similar situation. What I did, was I worked myself into the group of the girl's friends. One of my friends was talking to some kids in the group, so I used that as an excuse to get into their group. After that I hung out with her every day, and after a few weeks, I told her how I felt. Unfortunately, it didn't work out for me. That doesn't mean it won't work out for you. From what I heard, it sounds like she may be interested in you. You could also try asking her brother or friends like Damian suggested. In the end, you just have to have to work up a little courage, even if it's just a shred. When you want to ask her out or tell her how you feel, just ask if you can talk to her for a second, or try to find a time when you are alone. Hope everything works out for you.

[WALLE]

if you dont know what to talk to her about, ask her for help wit math or some other class. even if you dont need it, its a great way to get her to hang out with you in a 1 on 1 situation which might make it easier for you to talk to her.

[Zarakly]

if you dont know what to talk to her about, ask her for help wit math or some other class. even if you dont need it, its a great way to get her to hang out with you in a 1 on 1 situation which might make it easier for you to talk to her.

You should try this, whatever you do though, DO NOT ask her through facebook, phone, or other people. You ask her face to face. Trust me on this, I did the friend thing, then I did the phone thing, and then I did the facebook thing. It never turns out well...