I am finding it impossible to go NC

[Paladino]

If you saw my earlier thread, my ex split up with me and hardly gave me a reason why apart from that it won't work but she still loves me but we can't be together and not being with me is making her stressed and depressed, then a day or two later she starts saying hurtful things and saying she hates me and shit, I don't believe she hates me, I know she still loves me but she is saying hurtful things to go away. My problem is, I am finding it impossible to go NC(No Contact), I keep texting her telling her how hurt it's making me feel and shit. Her friend, last night popped up to me on FB and said that If I leave her alone she will eventually start speaking to me again, she is blocking it out by hanging out with her friend, her boyfriend and his friend (we are all mutual friends) and that's why I think she is acting like she doesn't care, because she is blocking everything out and I don't know if it will ever hit her. How do I stop obsessing over her and show her that I DON'T CARE, because I know if she thinks I don't care anymore, she will hate it & my friend told me if she thinks that/or thinks I have a new girl, it will kill her inside.

I already know EXACTLY what to say to her, if/when she comes back. I really want her to do it sooner so I can say it to her so she knows how bad she made me feel by being so fickle the last 2 months and hopefully she realises that she made a mistake, if she thinks of it that way, rather than being bitter to the person she is supposed to love.

[Gumleaf]

Going nc is hard. I've done it before and it's something you have to make yourself do. But it's good for getting over it and helping yourself move on too. I mean, even though it's not clear to you now and despite what she says, she has broken up with you for a reason and a reason she doesn't want you to know about. I'm guessing by contacting her like you're doing, you're pestering her and she is likely pissed off about it and I'm also guessing it gets you down and stuff? It's easier said than done, but you need to stop the contact cycle and leave her be for a while. I once heard a saying that silence is deafening. I think that might apply in your situation for her. Good luck.

[Paladino]

Thanks for the reply! At the moment I don't want her back, she is deceitful, lies about nearly everything and is generally being a horrible horrible person these days NOT the person I fell for in the first place. I heard that if I go NC she will come back, but tbh if she comes back I only want her to for one reason, to tell her exactly how she made me feel - my friend told me I shouldn't do this and I shouldn't even look at her message, I should just delete it and block her, unsure as to what to do when the moment comes, been nearly 2 weeks since we split.

[maniamsmart]

Thanks for the reply! At the moment I don't want her back, she is deceitful, lies about nearly everything and is generally being a horrible horrible person these days NOT the person I fell for in the first place. I heard that if I go NC she will come back, but tbh if she comes back I only want her to for one reason, to tell her exactly how she made me feel - my friend told me I shouldn't do this and I shouldn't even look at her message, I should just delete it and block her, unsure as to what to do when the moment comes, been nearly 2 weeks since we split.

You're right about not wanting her back, I wouldn't want her back either, but it seems to me you're just in it for justice and revenge at this point. And that isn't healthy at all. My friend went through the same thing and is now going to a psychiatrist because of the mental break downs he has. He was obsessed with getting justice and letting the girl know how he feels, but it all backfired on him when he grew to learn that she didn't care.

If you NC, there will be a high chance that she will want to get back together with you, and if you do want to get back together with her that is your choice (even though I would strong encourage you not to). But the reason you have for wanting her back is the wrong reason. You need to just let her go and let her realize on her own. I'd say follow the advice your friend gave you. It's the best advice not only against her, but also for you, and keeping you healthy and not getting into a situation that can get worse.

[Paladino]

Fair enough. I think she might be sleeping with someone else already and it is killing me.