Coming Back

[-Silence]

I feel like I'm slipping back into Self Harm. I haven't done it but damn do I want to.
The urge hasn't gone away and it's been about two weeks that I've had this last urge. It's getting to the point where I dream about it again, all I keep thinking about it how good that razor will feel digging into my arm. How it'll fix everything and I'll start to feel okay again.

I'm craving it, I want to cut and I want to cut alot, I want to cut till my entire arm is covered, then go to bed and wake up and do it again. I miss it like crazy.

I work with a box cutter, as a stock person I'm opening boxes all day, today I missed the box and accidentally got my thumb, it felt amazing.

As much shame as the scars bring I want them. I want more.

Maybe I just want to feel alright, I'm not sure, I'm not sure what to do, how to keep pushing it away when lately it's all I think about.

[japanman]

:( This is remarkab;e jut such good writing i wish you the best of luck :(
:hug:

[steven]

try your best to keep SH off your mind, if you ever think about it, start to do something that takes alot of concentration, or go out with a few people and play a sport or just go for a jog, just do anything that will help you please, SH is one of the worst things that a friend could do, it hurts like hell when you know your best friend does it. or even your girlfriend...

Steve

[-Silence]

try your best to keep SH off your mind, if you ever think about it, start to do something that takes alot of concentration, or go out with a few people and play a sport or just go for a jog, just do anything that will help you please, SH is one of the worst things that a friend could do, it hurts like hell when you know your best friend does it. or even your girlfriend...

Steve

I've been doing that. It just keeps coming back.

[-Silence]

Fuck it, I'm tired of this bullshit.
I'm tired of fighting and it just slapping me back in the face.