Frustrating thoughts of him....

[The-Chosen-Hero]

Okay so some background stuff.

I met him 3 years ago in soccer season and we quickly became friends. Well in the past two years we have became best friends. I can be seen either with him or a group of my friends for lunch. At least once every other week I would spend the night at his house. And at least 3 times a week we would hang out outside of school. I started to become more and more involved with him. We had maybe one or two fall outs but they lasted a week or so. These past couple of months I was astonished we had came through so much and I started to think more about him. Now I am thinking about him almost all the time...

There was maybe 4 times I teased him and we just laugh it off (he teased me 5). But when I would spend the night and we would sleep next to each other on the living room floor it became a "How close can I get to him?". I would even go to his swimming meets and painfully sit through 3 hours of watching to see him perform (I am such a good friend :D). Unfortunately we both moved out of state but we still text each other. His texts are what I look forward to everyday since I am all alone over here. Very little friends and no family. Well lets just say... Sometimes I hug my pillow thinking it is him or to help me fall asleep I would dream about him. The longer I am here the more I am finding myself sexually attracted to him and emotionally. Is it because I like like him or because I am lonely and he is my best friend ever?

I mean like 8 months before all this complicated feelings we did wrestling sport so we would commonly see each other naked (Our vision is to wide lol). I wasn't turned on so why would I be slightly turned on thinking about him now? I mean we are both straight so why is he the only guy I am attracted to. I look at any other guy and I could never see me with them but I can always see myself with him. I'm confused if that is because we are best friends or because I like like him... UGH

[Elysium]

Teen Sexuality and Gender :arrow: Relationships and Dating

[maniamsmart]

I think it is a mixture of both, because you miss your friend and you feel you are lonely and because you may have a strong liking towards him to maybe have a relationship even. What makes you so sure that you are fully straight? There is nothing with being gay or bi-sexual so maybe you should be a bit more open minded towards the possibility that you may be one of the two.

This is very normal if you take out the fact that you believe you are 100% straight, and I don't think you should be worrying about it so much, and maybe start thinking about your sexual orientation. The one problem that I do see here, is that he may be 100% straight, and I don't know if he is, and I am not sure if you know. If he is thought, then I think it's best you just keep it to yourself because he may be slightly weirded out and pushed away because he doesn't want to be liked in that way. However, if you don't know, or if you have an idea that he may feel the same way about you, and if he has played the "how close can I get" game as well, then maybe you can talk to him more and ask him more about his sexual orientation too.

This may just be the phase in your life where you may also be curious, meaning you want to experience different sexual orientations, and there is nothing wrong with that either. This type of situation requires a lot of self thought and experimentation. Now with that being said, I am not sure if I answered your question fully, so if you do want to continue to elaborate on this perhaps have further questions please do, I am usually around this part of the forum a lot.

[The-Chosen-Hero]

I am good now. I believe I have found my answer. If not then I suppose time will show the answer eventually. Right now I should just focus on maintaining our friendship especially since I had so many 'friends' toss that out the door.