Confused on whether I am considered attractive and likeable or not

[Elanor]

This might sound like a luxury problem, but it seriously is a bit confusing.

As far as I know, I was considered truly attractive and apparently "the cutest girl at school" during elementary school and high school, and I have heard this a couple times from other people after that.
However, I cannot really say that I notice this from people directly - when I cross people in the school corridors they will either ignore me, or give me a grave or uneasy look;
they very rarely actually smile to me or anything, they either completely ignore me or look at me almost as if they were angry or something.
And it's the same thing when I am expected to introduce myself to other guys at parties or similar "gatherings" - everything works pretty well with people, and most of them seem delighted to itntroduce themselves to me - but then a guy appears, and then all of a sudden that guy seems uneasy or reserved about 80% of the time, even though he seemed to be perfectly relaxed with everyone else.
It's also the same thing when I accidentally make eye contact with a stranger - they could laugh and seem very pleased with their friends etc, but when we make eye contact they immediately get a much more neutral and concerned look on their faces, like "um, sorry for laughing...?".
And it's not just other girls either, even guys react like this.

I mean, sure, to be honest I am not very social at all myself, and I probably have a grave face expression myself since I went through a depression a couple years ago (between age 16-17, roughly) and probably "derailed" in the social department because of that, so I am often troubled by my current inability to relax with other people, and I do tend to shut people off and not talk very much at all and feel generally nervous or uptight among other people - but does this make such a huge impact that people either ignore me or give me irritated looks?

In any case, I have noticed that people tend to be compeltely different during those days when I feel unusually relaxed, those days people suddenly seem much kinder again and guys can sometimes even randomly say hello to me.
So it certainly seems like all of this has something to do with my own behaviour.

[maniamsmart]

This might sound like a luxury problem, but it seriously is a bit confusing.

As far as I know, I was considered truly attractive and apparently "the cutest girl at school" during elementary school and high school, and I have heard this a couple times from other people after that.
However, I cannot really say that I notice this from people directly - when I cross people in the school corridors they will either ignore me, or give me a grave or uneasy look;
they very rarely actually smile to me or anything, they either completely ignore me or look at me almost as if they were angry or something.
And it's the same thing when I am expected to introduce myself to other guys at parties or similar "gatherings" - everything works pretty well with people, and most of them seem delighted to itntroduce themselves to me - but then a guy appears, and then all of a sudden that guy seems uneasy or reserved about 80% of the time, even though he seemed to be perfectly relaxed with everyone else.
It's also the same thing when I accidentally make eye contact with a stranger - they could laugh and seem very pleased with their friends etc, but when we make eye contact they immediately get a much more neutral and concerned look on their faces, like "um, sorry for laughing...?".
And it's not just other girls either, even guys react like this.

I mean, sure, to be honest I am not very social at all myself, and I probably have a grave face expression myself since I went through a depression a couple years ago (between age 16-17, roughly) and probably "derailed" in the social department because of that, so I am often troubled by my current inability to relax with other people, and I do tend to shut people off and not talk very much at all and feel generally nervous or uptight among other people - but does this make such a huge impact that people either ignore me or give me irritated looks?

In any case, I have noticed that people tend to be compeltely different during those days when I feel unusually relaxed, those days people suddenly seem much kinder again and guys can sometimes even randomly say hello to me.
So it certainly seems like all of this has something to do with my own behaviour.

It could very well be an impact and effect from your depression. Perhaps they saw your face expression and then it affected them. Or, maybe they saw that you really are "the cutest girl" they had ever seen and just started to stare :P I am not really sure myself how to answer this question because I have never seen you, and I don't know how others reacted when they saw you. Descriptions can only go so far, but I do highly believe that because of your past depression and because of the fact that you aren't very social, that is what people are going to be right back to you.

Now how to fix this? Very easy, try talking to people more often even if it's just small talk. Maybe talk to your friends about this and ask them how they feel about it since they are actually there with you able to see how you are and act every day. But in general being a bit more social should solve this so that others are more social with you too.

Just think, if you are uncomfortable with people and they can see or tell that you, don't you think that they'd start to feel like they did something wrong and feel uncomfortable too? I would.

Hope this helped in some way, this is kind of a difficult question to answer because it goes down to a very personal level and I don't know you in that way.

[Paladino]

There will always be someone out there that finds you attractive and likeable, trust me, everybody has people that finds them attractive.

[Elanor]

There will always be someone out there that finds you attractive and likeable, trust me, everybody has people that finds them attractive.
Yeah, although that wasn't really my concern, I just found it weird how I have got it confirmed in several ways that I apparently am "very attractive" - I have even been randomly compared to beautiful movie stars several times - and yet get this relatively cold response from other students at my school.

But then again, I am actually from Sweden (should have mentioned that earlier, lol), and I have got the impression that this seems to be a relatively common type of behaviour in general - "avoid approaching strangers or smiling at them, unless you are expected to talk to each other or you are at a party". :P
And when I think about it, people don't really "check out" other students either, even though a hottie might enter a crowded room.
Maybe I am making a big deal out of all this, and my insecurity probably gives me a distorted view of reality as well.

[maniamsmart]

Yeah, although that wasn't really my concern, I just found it weird how I have got it confirmed in several ways that I apparently am "very attractive" - I have even been randomly compared to beautiful movie stars several times - and yet get this relatively cold response from other students at my school.

But then again, I am actually from Sweden (should have mentioned that earlier, lol), and I have got the impression that this seems to be a relatively common type of behaviour in general - "avoid approaching strangers or smiling at them, unless you are expected to talk to each other or you are at a party". :P
And when I think about it, people don't really "check out" other students either, even though a hottie might enter a crowded room.
Maybe I am making a big deal out of all this, and my insecurity probably gives me a distorted view of reality as well.

Yes you should have mentioned you are from Sweden, because now I feel like I wrote 3-4 paragraphs for nothing because I was under the impression that you were from the US, and this just started happening recently. But now that you mention that, you are right, that is how it is around here, haha. Don't let it get to you too much, you'll get used to it.

But I still think to avoid those incidents you should be more social, then you'll have more friends and less of those incidents happening.

[Semi_IronMan]

Some people might find u attractive... Others might know