I had a break down yesterday ..

[Paladino]

So over the years, lot's of shit has built up like my dad leaving us from the minute he found out my Mum was pregnant, girls fucking me over, leaving me with barely any self confidence and I have done stupid stuff to make my family nearly disown me to the point where I have been feeling suicidal yesterday. Yesterday was the first time I had told my Mum about it, and I broke down in tears and she listened to everything I had to say, despite everything I have done to piss her and other family members off. She advised I go to the doctors, which I did today. He advised me to go to councillor and I have made an appointment. However my appointment isn't for a month .. Can I wait a month? What if it gets really bad! I am not looking for a reply, feel free to if you want to, I know lot's of people on the forum have felt/feel this way before & I wanted to share my story. I suppose I should just look at my own signature over and over again haha ..

[queenofcontrariety]

The waiting is the hardest part, but it does give you a beacon of hope to look towards, that's what it did for me anyway. It's good that you're seeking help, in the mean time you have plentplenty of people here to keep you going.

[Paladino]

It really is a horrible feeling to feel this way.

[queenofcontrariety]

It is a horrible feeling, but now you have a goal, make it to your appointment. I always found that having reachable milestones made it a little easier to cope. And if it does get really bad, like you fear, there are emergency lines you can call, I don't know what they are for your area, but I'd recommend writing one on your wrist or keeping it in your wallet so you always have some one to reach out to if the month is too long. These are all what if situations, I personally believe you can make it, have your count down in the back of your mind and know that the rescue ships have just been dispatched to save you from drowning. You will be okay, things WILL get better

[Paladino]

Thank you, as the day got on I started to feel better.