Why dont gay's like coming out

[dogman]

Why do gay people mostly keep it a secret, why are they soo scared about coming out, i mean, there is this kid, and everyone thinks he is gay, everyone says it too him, so why wouldnt he come out

BTW, im positive he is gay, he was stroking another mans leg at camp (without the guy asking and it freaked the guy out, he stayed in our tent for 5 hours)

[Techno Monster]

because they are ashamed of it.

[chris__robin]

because they are ashamed of it.

umm HELL NO we aren't ashamed of being gay.

the reason gay and lesbian people find it hard to come out to other people is because we are a minority group amongst society, and homosexuality is still not seen as socially acceptable among many people in the community. there is also a lack of knowledge about homosexuals which makes straight people unsure of what being "gay" means and may be afraid, and hence make fun of or abuse gay people.

so its hard for us to come out because we dont know what our family or friends reactions will be when we tell them, they may dislike us because of their own beliefs or parents beliefs or the fact that they dont really know what it means when we tell them we are gay. other people may be worried they could be subject to gay bashings.

there are a number of things that make it hard, and it is a very brave thing for someone to come out.

[steven]

people who are gay dont tell other people because they know for a fact that most people will start and take the piss out of them, and to be frank, that is the shittest excuse for people to use to abuse people. it is because of this abuse that thousand of people that are not straight are afraid to tell their family and friends. but i know this 1 bloke (one year older than me) who is gay, works in a shop and is a reyt laugh, my cousin is bi. there are more people than you think who are bi/gay but not afraid to come out because they dont want to get all of the harrassment that people throw at them for telling them their sexuality... people who take the piss out of others about their sexuality are complete dicks and should really look around them... sorry bout my language just not a v good day 4 me tday

Steve

[redcar]

because they are ashamed of it.
Ehh no.

Why do gay people mostly keep it a secret, why are they soo scared about coming out, i mean, there is this kid, and everyone thinks he is gay, everyone says it too him, so why wouldnt he come out

BTW, im positive he is gay, he was stroking another mans leg at camp (without the guy asking and it freaked the guy out, he stayed in our tent for 5 hours)

As said above when you are gay you are in the minority. People, as well, don't always view homosexuality as something that is "normal" or "acceptable". So when you are gay you have this always playing in the back of your mind, always think will people look at you differently, treat you differently.

Even if people already think you are gay, actually confirming it is a very hard thing to do. The minute you do it, the status quo changes. Some people won't really care either way, but some will. And those who do, are the very people gay people don't like coming out.

Being treated differently for something you have no control over is a very hurtful thing.

[Atonement]

The life of someone that is homosexual is SO hard. Especially here, in the teen years, a kid came out. He went through ridicule every single day and ended up in tears half the time. I have tremendous respect of openly gay teens. It takes so much courage to do. Plus, with all the homophobia out there, it is literally that they are in danger. Take of instance Matthew Shepard. This was a 21-year-old college student in Wyoming that was MURDERED on the very fact that he was gay.

Shortly after midnight on October 7, 1998, 21-year-old Shepard met McKinney and Henderson in a bar. McKinney and Henderson posed as gay men and offered Shepard a ride in their car. Subsequently, Shepard was robbed, pistol whipped, tortured, tied to a fence in a remote, rural area, and left to die. McKinney and Henderson also found out his address and intended to burglarize his home. Still tied to the fence, Shepard was discovered eighteen hours later by a cyclist, who at first thought that Shepard was a scarecrow. Shepard was still alive, but in a coma, at the time of discovery.

He had fractures to his head, spine, and was hypothermic. He died about 4 days after the attack.

That is why people can be scared of coming out. You can literally be put in danger. A kid from a school near my town was tied to the field goal post in their football stadium and egged, beaten, and left outside to freeze to death. He was 15.

[bigsack13]

Why do gay people mostly keep it a secret, why are they soo scared about coming out, i mean, there is this kid, and everyone thinks he is gay, everyone says it too him, so why wouldnt he come out

BTW, im positive he is gay, he was stroking another mans leg at camp (without the guy asking and it freaked the guy out, he stayed in our tent for 5 hours)

Well maybe you think he is gay, but it is not for you people to decide. Only the guy himself knows whether he is gay, straight, bisexual or asexual.
If he doesn't wanna come out, have you ever considered he might be straight? I mean: some guys are just a bit effeminite. A bit of a pussy with a high piched voice and feminine ways. But such people do not have to be gay! There are many manly mach people with low voices and tattoos who are gays just like there are soft guys who like shopping and behave girly who are gay. But the duck test does not allways apply, understand that very well.
When a guy says he ain't gay and therefore "refuses to come out" he probably isn't or doesn't wanna be gay so leave him alone to decide for himself. Don't push someone to do something they do not want to do.

An uncle of a friend of mine was gay. He had a wife and two children and lived a happy live as a shopkeeper. He just was gay, but he never had any male love before nor after his marriage and he was loyal to his wife. He had good live and never "came out" because he did not want to. Then his best friend kept on talking in to him to get him out. Eventually he got persuaded and publically came out.
His wife divorced him shortly after, his friends left him, his shop went on poorly visited and had to close and his life was ruined. All because of some fool pushing him around. You know what this teaches us? Never push someone around! Never force someone to do something that person himself does not feel good about. If you know a guy and suspect him to be gay, leave the decision to himself. For it is for nobody else to decide whether someone comes out or not. Just remember this. Keep this in mind.

[dogman]

because they are ashamed of it.

i dont know how someone can be ashamed for who they are

The life of someone that is homosexual is SO hard. Especially here, in the teen years, a kid came out. He went through ridicule every single day and ended up in tears half the time. I have tremendous respect of openly gay teens. It takes so much courage to do. Plus, with all the homophobia out there, it is literally that they are in danger. Take of instance Matthew Shepard. This was a 21-year-old college student in Wyoming that was MURDERED on the very fact that he was gay.

Shortly after midnight on October 7, 1998, 21-year-old Shepard met McKinney and Henderson in a bar. McKinney and Henderson posed as gay men and offered Shepard a ride in their car. Subsequently, Shepard was robbed, pistol whipped, tortured, tied to a fence in a remote, rural area, and left to die. McKinney and Henderson also found out his address and intended to burglarize his home. Still tied to the fence, Shepard was discovered eighteen hours later by a cyclist, who at first thought that Shepard was a scarecrow. Shepard was still alive, but in a coma, at the time of discovery.

He had fractures to his head, spine, and was hypothermic. He died about 4 days after the attack.

That is why people can be scared of coming out. You can literally be put in danger. A kid from a school near my town was tied to the field goal post in their football stadium and egged, beaten, and left outside to freeze to death. He was 15.

this incidnent, if it was even for the fact that this gay was gay (it might have been for some other reason) would be the only attack on gays that i have ever heard of. Where did that second incident happen??? WHat country??

[IfPiratesCouldFly]

Uhmm this post is gonna feel insignifigant, and it has prolly been said in all those other really big posts but, they find it hard because its mostly socially unaccepted and are sometimes afraid of what other people will do as far as gay bashing and such.

[dogman]

Uhmm this post is gonna feel insignifigant, and it has prolly been said in all those other really big posts but, they find it hard because its mostly socially unaccepted and are sometimes afraid of what other people will do as far as gay bashing and such.

not much of that happen at my school

[japanman]

Why because society sucks that why because kisd cant except the fact that someone is different. that is whya nd if the worlds society was mainly gaa straight ppl would find it hard to come out it all leads to one thing Society sucks

[Zephyr]

Everybody has a different reason.

My friend Tim didn't intentionally come out to his parents because they're uber conservative republicans, so he was afraid that they'd disown him or kick him out, (which they did not do, they learned to live with it).

Some may just fear what society thinks,
Some just don't feel the need unless confronted.

It really depends on the person and their feelings about coming out.

[japanman]

Yep stephs got it and my friend copper finally come out and lets just say no one makes fun of him i think hes transgender but im not sure but eh hes come out and everyone accepted him :D

[Underground_Network]

In certain cultures, they may actually not come out because they're ashamed of it, but generally speaking, a fear of not being accepted by other people is one of the major reasons people don't want to reveal that they're gay. At my school, if you call someone gay, its an insult. So if someone came out at my school, in a sense wouldn't they be insulting themselves? There is one openly bi kid in my school who is extremely popular and nobody cares, but still... People make fun of gays all the time in my school.. And since gays are often targets of bullies and are just isolated and not treated well (I mean this isn't 100% true, but a lot of the time it can be), they're afraid to come out... And they also have a fear of their parents not loving them any more or their parents viewing them differently because they're gay. They also have a fear of their friends not accepting them for who they are. Expecting their friends to be freaked out or even angered by the fact that they are gay. In most cases they don't need to fear coming out, in most cases if they have good friends and truly loving parents, coming out shouldn't be a big deal. But there is always a fear, being gay makes you different, and people don't like people who are different. Its just how the "system" works. Coming out is one of the toughest things for a gay or lesbian to do. It takes real courage to come out. Most people don't just walk up to their parents and say, "Yo mom, dad, I'm gay. 'K?" They really take their time and think before they come out. They probably think of the worst case scenario and possibly the best case scenario. Even if they're atheist they probably pray before they come out. Pray that everything goes right. Its not easy being gay in a world like this, the world has yet to completely accept gays. There are people out there who hate gays, who want them to die. And most gays are aware of that, and there will always be that constant fear hanging over them. Thats why coming out can be so hard. Fear. I'm afraid to be myself for the same exact reason. We all act like people we aren't, so we can fit in, and a lot of people don't think gays fit in to our society, so some gays just don't want to come out, they would rather just keep it a secret and try their best to live a "normal" life; but to tell you the truth, I'm not even sure what "normal" is any more...

[MoveAlong]

everyone probably has their different reason why they stay in the closet.
Mine is, I feel like I wouldn't be as popular or liked on campus (it may be conceited, but nobody wants people turning against them because of who they are). I don't want to lose friends that I have so much fun with, so I don't tell them anything and I haven't come out to anybody. I'm scared that they'll leave me or call me names or maybe even hurt me.

I have so much fun without a relationship, so why should people know that I prefer a different sex?

[GRB123]

umm HELL NO we aren't ashamed of being gay.

the reason gay and lesbian people find it hard to come out to other people is because we are a minority group amongst society, and homosexuality is still not seen as socially acceptable among many people in the community. there is also a lack of knowledge about homosexuals which makes straight people unsure of what being "gay" means and may be afraid, and hence make fun of or abuse gay people.

so its hard for us to come out because we dont know what our family or friends reactions will be when we tell them, they may dislike us because of their own beliefs or parents beliefs or the fact that they dont really know what it means when we tell them we are gay. other people may be worried they could be subject to gay bashings.

there are a number of things that make it hard, and it is a very brave thing for someone to come out. You took the words right out f my mouth. If I came out i would be beat and harrased every day. As for my family no one would approve

[happytimes]

I'm not gay but from my understanding here are the reasons:

1. Homosexuals are a minority and most people do not accept the fact these gay/lesbian have the right to love the same sex.

2. Homosexuals are probably one of the most made fun of minority groups. Gay/lesbians are afraid to step up and tell everyone about it.

3. They just want to keep a low profile.

[Hauptmann Kauffman]

Yes, but they wouldn't have to if society wasn't such a bitch due to A) religious discrimination and B) Ignorance (At least at my school)

I had a discussion with a great friend of mine who's Mormon, doesn't know I'm bisexual, and he was talking about how people aren't born gay, its due to bad family life, and that they should be treated for it... Is sickening... same thing for the Born Again Christians at my school...

[happytimes]

and he was talking about how people aren't born gay, its due to bad family life, and that they should be treated for it... Is sickening...

although i don't agree with people born gay. i think sexual preferences are developed under influence, hormones, etc... but saying people are gay because of bad family life is just ridiculous. if you have a bad family life the last thing you'll be thinking about is sexual preference. and no gay should not be treated. its funny how people are so naive they say gay can be treated into straight again. I'm straight and I no I can't be treated into gay. what makes you think gay can?

[Dante]

because its sometimes hard to face the truth and coming out is the biggest way to face it.

[LifeIsMyJoke]

because they are ashamed of it.

Thats a big call - gays and lesbians are amongst the proudest people I know.

I would say more so because society doesn't socially accept them to the same level as it does heterosexuals.

They are viewed as a minority, both physically and mentally, and although this isn't in the slightest true (well at least not the mentally part), people often pick on others for being homosexual.

It is actually a fairly common "insult" amongst children these days, all this "fag" "homo" crap.

Its no wonder they often don't want to come out, as they think society will reject them. But gays and lesbians are proud people mostly =D

[kolte]

Some of us are ashamed. I don't want people to know I'm gay, because then it becomes a conversation topic. "This is my gay friend Kolte"......What a bitch move. Also I don't want to be gay, I didn't choose to be gay. I would be contented with a wife and a family and suburban house and dog. But I'm gay, and my day is riddled with awkward social graces. I'm depressed enough, and my smile is only so convincing. Any more stress and I'm going to collapse on the floor and weep.....if only tears would come.

[MoveAlong]

Some of us are ashamed.

True. some of us are ashamed to tell others in fear that they will reject us and we're wondering why we are gay and not straight so that it would be a lot easier to find someone and be accepted.

I don't come out because I don't want people to identify me as "that kid who's gay" or "this is zach, my gay friend". Even more so, I don't want people to be interested in my relationships. I'd rather be a showman who people like to laugh with and have fun with, not really that deep so that it doesn't get too weird.

Another reason is that I don't want people to taunt me about that. and in high school, damn right they will (at least one person will.) So I just don't want to worry about it.

[Oblivion]

Everybody has a different reason.

My friend Tim didn't intentionally come out to his parents because they're uber conservative republicans, so he was afraid that they'd disown him or kick him out, (which they did not do, they learned to live with it).

Some may just fear what society thinks,
Some just don't feel the need unless confronted.

It really depends on the person and their feelings about coming out.
Agree 100%. Everyone has a different reason, and when you guys are telling reasons... Well you really can't know that. Even if you say 'Ya i'm gay i know' it still doesn't make sense because it was YOUR personal experience

[curiousteen]

because they are ashamed of it.

now there are some ppl that r ashamed but most gays r not

i have a friend that i s gay and im bi. he told me that he wanted to come out and tell ppl that he was gay.so he did it. now everybody his makin fun of him and wont talk to him.

im bi and if i were to tell someone i was bi they would be like oh there is another gay person. its like did they here wut i said. im bi. but to them it doesn't make any difference. if u like boys then they would consider u gay even if u like girls to. but i wouldnt come out and tell because ppl would try to treat me different. my parents would try to talk to me and try to change me. but i cant change or someone esle cant change. if they r bi/gay its wut they want to be or they cant control it. now another gay would feel the same way.

i hope explained it correctly :whoops:

[notsure101]

Because they think they will made fun of and as Dante said its hard facing the truth

[ssgliberty]

because they are ashamed of it.

HELL FUCKING NO (sorry for the cuss words)

i agree with chris robin

gay\bi people dont want people making fun f them but thay might tell for that like the worry people won except you and like everty thing else chris robin said and what redcar said so dont say where ashamed because where not
sincerly bi boy

[japanman]

Because the truth is harsh the turth hurts. Society doesnt accept ga for some reason and thats what they are afriad of. They dont want to be ridicule, they dont want to be called names. It is difficult to come out of th closet B/c turth is harsh.

hopfully that new commercial will go worldwide and stop abuse and ridicule towards gays and bi's

[ssgliberty]

Because the truth is harsh the turth hurts. Society doesnt accept ga for some reason and thats what they are afriad of. They dont want to be ridicule, they dont want to be called names. It is difficult to come out of th closet B/c turth is harsh.

hopfully that new commercial will go worldwide and stop abuse and ridicule towards gays and bi's

the truth dosent hurt but thanks for wanting name calling to stop

sincerly bi boy:D

[Cormac]

It's not being ashamed. Well, most of the time it's not. It has to do with fear. The fear that the world will reject you and treat you differently. Sometimes that's right, and sometimes it isn't. Either way, this is the fear that is carved into the person's skull. It's actually perfectly normal to have this fear when the world seems to be under social reign of homophobics everywhere.