Love, envy, sadness, depression

[jjj794]

Hi. I'm a 16 years old gay guy. I haven't come out yet, and I don't think I will anytime soon. I have very few "real friends", maybe just one, maybe no one, I don't know. I know that most of the other guys of my age would not accept me if I tell them I'm gay, nor my parents will, so I'm doing what I can in order to find another gay guy of my age, who lives near me and to whom I can talk, secretly. You can't understand how difficult it is. I've never kissed a boy. I'm becoming more and more unhappy.

What is making this situation even worse, is that I keep falling in love with straight guys who obviously, sooner or later, are going to get engaged with a girl disappointing me and making me even more sad.

About one year ago, I fell in love with one of my classmates. I never stopped loving him and I still love him today. For the first time, I feel that I would do anything, I would give up anything, I would kill, if that way I could stay forever with him. But this is not gonna happen. Never. He doesn't even know I like him. And this is really terrible. This feeling of loneliness and helplessness is really destroying me.

I'm also worried about my future. I see no other solution than leaving Italy after finishing school and going to live abroad, away from my family, away from my current friends.

This general unhappiness is also giving birth to another terrible feeling: envy. I would like to be like anyone else, I would like to be fucking straight and live a normal life like anyone else. Why I can't? Why?

[Leprous]

Hi. I'm a 16 years old gay guy. I haven't come out yet, and I don't think I will anytime soon. I have very few "real friends", maybe just one, maybe no one, I don't know. I know that most of the other guys of my age would not accept me if I tell them I'm gay, nor my parents will, so I'm doing what I can in order to find another gay guy of my age, who lives near me and to whom I can talk, secretly. You can't understand how difficult it is. I've never kissed a boy. I'm becoming more and more unhappy.

What is making this situation even worse, is that I keep falling in love with straight guys who obviously, sooner or later, are going to get engaged with a girl disappointing me and making me even more sad.

About one year ago, I fell in love with one of my classmates. I never stopped loving him and I still love him today. For the first time, I feel that I would do anything, I would give up anything, I would kill, if that way I could stay forever with him. But this is not gonna happen. Never. He doesn't even know I like him. And this is really terrible. This feeling of loneliness and helplessness is really destroying me.

I'm also worried about my future. I see no other solution than leaving Italy after finishing school and going to live abroad, away from my family, away from my current friends.

This general unhappiness is also giving birth to another terrible feeling: envy. I would like to be like anyone else, I would like to be fucking straight and live a normal life like anyone else. Why I can't? Why?

First of all, be who you are. Maybe people will accept you for who you are, but you just don't realise it. I know what loneliness is like, and all I can really say is that you have to keep try to stay strong, yes it's hard, but you can do it. Love can be a horrible thing if it doesn't work out. First try coming out to those you trust most, and perhaps then everything will get better for you, and I really hope it will. Stay strong, I'm here if you wanna talk.

[Sloth]

If you're gay, just accept it. Your real friends are the ones who know all about you and love you the same!
Stay strong and live life!
If you love a straight man then try to find other gay men that will love and except you as well.

[James Dean]

Oh, please cheer up. :) Stop comparing yourself to others, you can do the same if not even better than them. We all have stories to tell, think of how boring it would be if you strived to be like someone identical. Don't worry about them, do your own projects and own them. Open yourself up to more people, don't be shy. If you get rejected don't take it personal, keep on moving. :)

I see only great things. I know, because from what you mentioned you seem strong and determined to become your own person. Being gay myself, I can relate and understand your issue with this. Use common sense when developing relationships with people.

Perhaps focus on more important things right now. Your education, school work. You even suggested that a strong possibly would be travelling for college to open your mind up to new areas and new people. I want you to take care of yourself, you'll be fine. :)

[jjj794]

Thank you guys