Discussion: Are we born gay? Is it a choice?

[eggy101]

As the title suggests. I want to have a discussion.

Are we born gay?

Raised gay?

Or chose to be gay?

If you disagree with all three statements and have your own by all means share it.

I didn't make this a poll for a reason. If you can give a response to your answer it will be much apreciated.

Now For my answer:
I believe I personally was raised to be gay and that, that's the majority. Why? I was raised by two women. Not lesbians, my mum and sister. Dad left when I was young so these two ladies were all I had. While I appreciated cars and action men, I too played barbies (ken of corse :P) dress ups and watched all the shows that went with being a girl (As my sister did with me). However growing up more I would be constantly reminded, not directly, but what an attractive male is. Mum and sis might talk about it or my sis mention it. There was never any discussion of attractive females and their behaviour.

Being with out a male figure I began, in around grade 6 to become a little more curious of the male anatomy. And now, frankly, being around them my whole life, I am sick of females and couldn't see my self with one forever.

This will surely differ from you, but I would be interested to hear your responses.

-- Jake

[Karkat]

Considering the fact that my parents are blatantly homophobic, I sure wouldn't say I was "raised to be gay". Lmao.

In fact, I was fairly homophobic growing up because I didn't know better. I'd get nervous when I had a lesbianic dream, or when anyone accused me of being my friend's "girlfriend" (which wouldn't have been the case anyways as she's asexual and I'm not attracted to her).

I definitely didn't choose to be this way.

I feel like I was born this way, and environmental factors probably helped.

[ksdnfkfr]

I have a very strong relationship with my dad who's very straight....so I should be straight too....riiiight? I think you see where I'm getting at. How you were raised is a coincidence in my opinion.

[eggy101]

and environmental factors probably helped.

I'd consider that 'raised'. Where you are and what happens around you have influenced it. But I can also see how yeah 'born that way' makes sense.

I have a very strong relationship with my dad who's very straight....so I should be straight too....riiiight? I think you see where I'm getting at. How you were raised is a coincidence in my opinion.

Well no. You would be straight. Raised manly where I was raised in a more feminine light. Either way yeah coincidental but I feel that factors around people have a lot to do with their sexuality. Hence why I am gauging peoples beliefs

[Bmble_B]

I'd say you were born Homosexual. As Karkat said, I myself used to be homophobic growing up because I didn't know better, and that's the mindset I'd get from my family members. So you can imagine how horrified I was when in like...3rd grade I had my first guy crush. Meh I cried thinking I was a freak, and went into denial. Until finally I've began the process of accepting who I am. Wow I talk a lot xD So, I think you were born with your sexuality whether or not it remains "dormant" for a certain amount of time, or you already know early on depends on the person.

[Karkat]

I'd consider that 'raised'. Where you are and what happens around you have influenced it. But I can also see how yeah 'born that way' makes sense.



Well no. You would be straight. Raised manly where I was raised in a more feminine light. Either way yeah coincidental but I feel that factors around people have a lot to do with their sexuality. Hence why I am gauging peoples beliefs

But see, my parents didn't influence me to be this way; I would say that I'd only be grey-asexual but slightly heterosexual if I didn't view lesbian porn or wasn't educated on sexuality as well as I am- these things did not "make" me gay so much as they influenced my ability to see this in myself.

[eggy101]

I'd say you were born Homosexual. As Karkat said, I myself used to be homophobic growing up because I didn't know better, and that's the mindset I'd get from my family members. So you can imagine how horrified I was when in like...3rd grade I had my first guy crush. Meh I cried thinking I was a freak, and went into denial. Until finally I've began the process of accepting who I am. Wow I talk a lot xD So, I think you were born with your sexuality whether or not it remains "dormant" for a certain amount of time, or you already know early on depends on the person.

Mmm good points. And 3rd grade? :O Getting in there early :P

But see, my parents didn't influence me to be this way; I would say that I'd only be grey-asexual but slightly heterosexual if I didn't view lesbian porn or wasn't educated on sexuality as well as I am- these things did not "make" me gay so much as they influenced my ability to see this in myself.

Great point. Maybe raised isn't the right term. More influenced to be gay. But then again when you look at lesbian porn you could of not liked it, so the outcome already predetermined.

This is all very interesting

[Zachary G]

who in their right mind would chose to be in a lifestyle that is so stigmatized, belittled, and persecuted? not me! im not saying that if i had my choice i would choose to be straight, no. i am very happy with ho i am and the life i lead as a gay boy. it is my belief and opinion that i was born this way.

[elliott134]

I am gay, just to clarify.

I sincerely doubt that homosexuality is a choice. Look at it from this perspective: could a straight guy wake up on day and think "I wanna have sex with dudes!"?

I don't think so. Surely it works the other way round :D

[Deactivated]

While I believe how you express yourself and act upon your desires is mostly a choice, your sexuality itself is never chosen. A person cannot decide to be straight, gay, bi, etc. They can only choose how they act upon it.

[Wyatt 13]

You can't decide to be gay. Im gay, I like guys but not in a bromance way LOL I dont wanna have a BF I just wanna hang out and mess around I guess there are many ways to be gay. I dont like chicks, im not curious about them in the way my str8 friends are.

[Babs]

I never decided to be gay. I sure as hell wish I wasn't, because my life would be a whole lot easier, but I can't really help it.
I don't know whether we are born gay or if it is environmental. I think it's a mix of both.

[chrisawesome]

Truly I believe we were not born straight nor gay. We were born bisexual or asexual. It's just the outside forces ex: parents, religion, friends. That influence our choice as a child.

[ImagineRepublicCity]

From what I can tell, you are born gay most of the time, but a lot of bi and bi-curious people probably can choose to. I mean, you know, a lot of people always have that random gay thought, but some people just have stronger thoughts than others.

[ksdnfkfr]

Well no. You would be straight. Raised manly where I was raised in a more feminine light. Either way yeah coincidental but I feel that factors around people have a lot to do with their sexuality. Hence why I am gauging peoples beliefs

But I'm not straight at all. Despite having been raised with very masculine influences from my dad, grandpa and uncle all of whom I'm close with (well was close with my uncle until he decided to ditch my aunt and cousin). But anyways I think the, gay because of no dad is probably a stereotype. Probably if you are gay, having a more feminine upbringing might just make it easier to be gay? Idk.

[Atom]

I believe (and science agrees with me if I'm not mistaken) that one can be born gay, yes, and there is nothing you can do about it, but homosexuality can also be "acquired".
Sexual orientation is a combination of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences. So yes, I think one can be raised gay (as someone pointed out in this thread before, "influenced" is a much better word for it, imo). I even have like 10 page piece about what factors play a big role in it. Psychology is my favourite science :D

So here are some of those factors (that influence a person into becoming a homosexual) to prove my point:
- father (if you had one when you were growing up of course) often displaying himself in the nude. Like after shower or something. Just walking around the house looking for a towel or whatever.
- having a very close and warm relationship with your mother and a distant father (any nurturing female can play a mother role. Grandma, for example, if you weren't raised by your mother).
- being raised in a homophobic environment/society (actually a pretty big factor).
There are many more things that can influence it. These are just some of them.

Genetics play a big factor too, however. How? I'm not a big fan of biology to write another wall of text about it :D Just look it up yourself, if you are interested.

So, as I've said in the beginning, sexual orientation is a combination of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences.

I hate talking about this though... We, gay people, are fighting so hard for people to accept us and if any homophobes read this... Well... What do we know? We are just "mindless children who don't know any better" after all xD I also overused words "factor" and "influence" in this post, sorry about that.

[xXMajor_PancakesXx]

I think that how you express yourself in various ways (i.e. clothing) is a factor that you yourself choose to take part in, however, being a member of a certain sexual orientation is not a choice, and never will be. Studies show that most people who identify as homosexual have decreased amounts of testosterone when they were born, the brain took that information and embedded it deep into our personality. So even if testosterone built up again (i.e. sexy buffs) we are still gay, bisexual, etc.

[Renata_cmp]

You choose your sexuality as much as you choose the color of your skin.

[TheLoneWolf]

I definitely think we are born gay. But I also think that sexuality can be opressed in a matter that a person will notice it.
Someone who is bisexual but is extremely homphobic and lives in a homophobic enfironment will porbably not notice or acknowledge being bi.

In my opinion, you are definitely born gay. But some will be raised not to notice their being gay.

[ImCoolBeans]

None of the above. Multiple variables weigh in on deciding a sexuality. I believe your upbringing, other environmental factors, and biological factors all play a part in sexuality, but it is not defined by one and only one of those factors.

I believe sexuality is much more free and fluid than people allow themselves to experience.

[xXEverReadyXx]

In my opinion, I think you are born with your sexual orientation.
Environmental factors may play a role, but I don't fully support that idea.
Along with the studies on testosterone levels as said earlier, a study has also revealed "that gay men and straight women share similar traits—most notably in the size of their brains and the activity of the amygdala—an area of the brain tied to emotion, anxiety and aggression. The same is true for heterosexual men and lesbians." And what's interesting is that "such characteristics would develop in the womb or in early infancy, meaning that psychological or environmental factors played little or no role." http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/study-says-brains-of-gay/

So yeah, that is my belief :)

[Atom]

I believe your upbringing, other environmental factors, and biological factors all play a part in sexuality, but it is not defined by one and only one of those factors.

None of the above.

Isn't that what I said in my post?

[Jaseblader]

As the title suggests. I want to have a discussion.

Are we born gay?

Raised gay?

Or chose to be gay?

If you disagree with all three statements and have your own by all means share it.

I didn't make this a poll for a reason. If you can give a response to your answer it will be much apreciated.

Now For my answer:
I believe I personally was raised to be gay and that, that's the majority. Why? I was raised by two women. Not lesbians, my mum and sister. Dad left when I was young so these two ladies were all I had. While I appreciated cars and action men, I too played barbies (ken of corse :P) dress ups and watched all the shows that went with being a girl (As my sister did with me). However growing up more I would be constantly reminded, not directly, but what an attractive male is. Mum and sis might talk about it or my sis mention it. There was never any discussion of attractive females and their behaviour.

Being with out a male figure I began, in around grade 6 to become a little more curious of the male anatomy. And now, frankly, being around them my whole life, I am sick of females and couldn't see my self with one forever.

This will surely differ from you, but I would be interested to hear your responses.

-- Jake

To be honest I believe all three, I am not gay but I believe some people were born gay and have a natural attraction to the same gender. I also believe that some people are gay just to defy their parents hence the raising. I also believe that some people choose to be gay for attention, money many reasons. I believe that being gay is a way of life

[ImCoolBeans]

Isn't that what I said in my post?

Maybe so, but I can also weigh in despite having similar things to say...

[Coolguy10890]

My opinion, (but others may disagree and sorry if it offends u) but I think that you are influenced to be gay. Like, when I was a child, I've had those childhood crushes on girls and stuff, never on guys. And then (fast forward many years) in 2009, my parents divorced and I had then had to live with my grandma for 2 years cuz my dad works second shift at night and comes home late so I couldn't be left home alone back then. So I lived with my grandma, and I admit she's a very sweet & nice grandma but now when I look back on it she spoiled me a lot and stuff and let me have my way and it sort of made me more feminine? And I sorta started thinking guys looked cute too… and I sorta stopped liking girls. But I just ignored my feelings and stuff for guys for so long. Anyways, in 2011 my dad married my step-mom and I lived with them (and still do today) and my stepmom and dad saw that I acted feminine and asked if I was gay and I really didn't know myself. So I was like "NOOO" all the time and over the years they were making me "man up" and today I am very less feminine than I used to be, but I still am. And I've noticed that I never have crushes on girls and I never check them out or anything, I seem to check out guys and stuff. And I've watched porn and I think girls vagina's are disgusting or something but I've liked seeing penis but all those years I've been in a "confusion" or "denial" and I sort of still am… but I really think I am gay. And I'm in a denial cuz I always hear in my school making fun of gay people and also with my family's friends disagreeing with homosexuals. So that also makes me not tell anyone. And my parents don't know either… every time they mention about girls or something I never give them an answer cuz I don't check girls out… so I really think I'm gay but I'm just not out to my family. But I'm still in "denial" with myself too cuz of all the people around me disagreeing with gays…


Sorry if this story is confusing or something. I didn't know how to word out some parts of it, and I didn't want it to be super long. It's already long as it is.

[Semi_IronMan]

I do think that LGB are born that way and didn't choose to be queer. And as for the being raised gay part... I think our environment and society has an impact on our sexuality. Think about it: I was raised in a house were I was the only male ( besides my dad, who was never around) I did a lot of girly things with my sisters and I think that made me view myself more like a girl, which make me interested in boys rather than girls

[Danny_boi 16]

This is a great question. I'm Bisexual, I don't believe that people are born gay or bi. If there was scientific research on it that proves me otherwise, then I'd accept it. However, I don't believe being gay or bi is a choice. Rather, I believe that it is based on how the child is raised. Not meaning that the parents groom him/her to be gay (but I guess they can if they want), but through subtle ways of how the child is nurtured. Nurture being defined as "Biology The sum of environmental influences and conditions acting on an organism." However, sexuality can change even in adulthood; therefore, what determines it is several external variables that influence the individual. Thus using the second definition of nurture: "to support and encourage, as during the period of training or development; foster". I use this because humans are constantly in the period of development. C'est la vie.

[Coolguy10890]

This is a great question. I'm Bisexual, I don't believe that people are born gay or bi. If there was scientific research on it that proves me otherwise, then I'd accept it. However, I don't believe being gay or bi is a choice. Rather, I believe that it is based on how the child is raised. Not meaning that the parents groom him/her to be gay (but I guess they can if they want), but through subtle ways of how the child is nurtured. Nurture being defined as "Biology The sum of environmental influences and conditions acting on an organism." However, sexuality can change even in adulthood; therefore, what determines it is several external variables that influence the individual. Thus using the second definition of nurture: "to support and encourage, as during the period of training or development; foster". I use this because humans are constantly in the period of development. C'est la vie.


Exactly, this is sort of what I'm trying to say. My grandma nurtured me too much and I sorta was influenced… she was the only one who took care of me the most. My Dad was always working, my Biological mom is mentally ill so she couldn't take care of herself so she couldn't take care of me. My grandma was the one mostly there for me. But now I live with my Dad & Step-mom.

[LiamC]

I fully believe it's innate. You are born gay, straight, bi, whatever. You might not realise it until you're 20, or even later, but it's anything but a choice. And you certainly can't raise a child to be gay.

[Foamy]

Being gay is not a choice. To be proud of it is what can be chosen. While there are external factors that some believe can help sway someone in either direction, those factors do not do much in the end. Thats like adding extra eggs to a cake thats already baked.

[kay_jay]

I do think that LGB are born that way and didn't choose to be queer. And as for the being raised gay part... I think our environment and society has an impact on our sexuality. Think about it: I was raised in a house were I was the only male ( besides my dad, who was never around) I did a lot of girly things with my sisters and I think that made me view myself more like a girl, which make me interested in boys rather than girls

I agree with you about how the environment and society has an impact on our sexuality because I grew with a lot of females around me so I would be always playing with their dolls and just doing all the girly things they did.

[Living For Love]

No one is born straight, gay or bisexual. A 2-year-old child has no idea what "love" or "sex" is. There isn't such thing as genetic homosexuality. Our sexual identity is built during our teenage years, where we start to be aware that we can be attracted to other people, not only emotionally, but also physically. It's during that age that we begin to experience attraction to other people and to build our sexual identity based on whom we're attracted to. Homosexuality can, though, be stimulated and encouraged by many factors, but what really determines it is the process of self-identification in terms of attraction to other people that teenagers go through during puberty.