Remora
November 12th, 2014, 02:42 PM
Sorry for my absence- although i should really be apologizing for showing myself again rather than taking away a a lot of pain - but this happened today, or probably tonight, and i can't get over it.
Some of you will know about my crush- in case you don't, and you really care enough to help me, there's the following threads. They can get a bit repetitive, so be wary.
http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=215922
http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=215660
http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=214898
http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=214891
I haven't made another thread in meanwhile, but me and Ruben have been getting a lot closer (but only at school, as "friends"), for example i'm taking a small detour so i can ride along with him on his way home from school now, i managed to get seated next to him in Dutch, one of three English classes, Physics and Science in addition to art history and pairing up with him in PE. The "let's make games together" kind of died although he still sends a file for me to check out or asks me for ideas occasionally.
Another thing i noticed is that he asked me things without being asked for it. I'm certain that i'm just another overexited 15 year old and i'm making this up, but i think someone trusts you when they ask the kind of questions you wouldn't dare ask in group chats. He asked something rather innocent, but if he'd asked it in "public" some people might have thought bad things of him. He simply asked "what time do we need to be at <lesson>?"
Now, about the thing i can't get over.
It was a dream. It was a very innocent dream- very realistic, very simple. I went to school, learned things, sat next to Ruben in the classes i sit next to him. It was flawless. I did not know it was a dream. All i knew was that he looked a bit different but i wasn't sure why (later i realized this was because he'd told me he was getting his hair cut the day before, my subconscious is clever) and that while we were walking trough the hall before our final lesson, he said the following; "Hey, do you want to do something next Friday?" whilst beeing all blushy. I just responded "Yeah, sure!" and i proceeded to be really really happy for the next lesson and i was looking forward to whatever we were going to do and i waked up and-
i waked up. I had been dreaming.
Even such a simple thing. We didn't have sex, we simply decided we would do "something" next Friday. My brain is mocking me. I don't know why, but it is.
I'm sorry to have to spit this all out as soon as i returned from being idle. I guess i was just ranting and need some advice on what to do next.
Some of you will know about my crush- in case you don't, and you really care enough to help me, there's the following threads. They can get a bit repetitive, so be wary.
http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=215922
http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=215660
http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=214898
http://virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=214891
I haven't made another thread in meanwhile, but me and Ruben have been getting a lot closer (but only at school, as "friends"), for example i'm taking a small detour so i can ride along with him on his way home from school now, i managed to get seated next to him in Dutch, one of three English classes, Physics and Science in addition to art history and pairing up with him in PE. The "let's make games together" kind of died although he still sends a file for me to check out or asks me for ideas occasionally.
Another thing i noticed is that he asked me things without being asked for it. I'm certain that i'm just another overexited 15 year old and i'm making this up, but i think someone trusts you when they ask the kind of questions you wouldn't dare ask in group chats. He asked something rather innocent, but if he'd asked it in "public" some people might have thought bad things of him. He simply asked "what time do we need to be at <lesson>?"
Now, about the thing i can't get over.
It was a dream. It was a very innocent dream- very realistic, very simple. I went to school, learned things, sat next to Ruben in the classes i sit next to him. It was flawless. I did not know it was a dream. All i knew was that he looked a bit different but i wasn't sure why (later i realized this was because he'd told me he was getting his hair cut the day before, my subconscious is clever) and that while we were walking trough the hall before our final lesson, he said the following; "Hey, do you want to do something next Friday?" whilst beeing all blushy. I just responded "Yeah, sure!" and i proceeded to be really really happy for the next lesson and i was looking forward to whatever we were going to do and i waked up and-
i waked up. I had been dreaming.
Even such a simple thing. We didn't have sex, we simply decided we would do "something" next Friday. My brain is mocking me. I don't know why, but it is.
I'm sorry to have to spit this all out as soon as i returned from being idle. I guess i was just ranting and need some advice on what to do next.