Transgenders? I think ..

[Paladino]

My cousin, who is a biological girl has became a boy ..

Before this she was a proud lesbian and slowly over the last few years transformed her look from girl to lesbian to major guy looking lesbian to boy. I am trying to understand how, some people can feel like a guy in a womans body or a woman in a guys body. For a while now she has been calling her self jayson and refers to her self as a boy, now me being me, when I see her I accidentally say her girl name & I feel like I may be offending her. It is hard for me to suddenly start calling this person I've known as my GIRL big cousin all my life, by a guys name. I want to try & understand how HE feels and why he felt that he didn't want to be a girl & what it feels like to be trapped in the body of another gender.

Any help/advice would be great, I'm not against the idea, I just don't understand it(fully).

[Calliope]

It's great that you're trying to understand what he's going through and even using his new name and pronouns! Most people are lucky if they have family that accepts them, unfortunately.

You should know that gender does not equal sex. We're assigned a gender based on our biological sex when we're born, but they're two different things. Gender is fluid, and you can identify with many different ones throughout your life before settling on one. And even after that, you can change your mind.
I'm not transgender myself, but basically your cousin does not identify with the gender he was assigned at birth (which is female). He genuinely believes he is male, so he is. It's that simple. It's not so much a "man trapped in a woman's body" thing, more of a "I am a man, not a woman" thing.

Yes, it does hurt us a little when you use the wrong name or pronouns, but it offends us a lot more when you misgender us on purpose. Don't do it. Ever. Even if you're mad at him, just don't.
It will take some time to get used to using the new name and whatnot. As long as your cousin knows you're trying your best, it should be ok. You can practice using it with him or someone else if you're really concerned about it.

I hope this helped - I suck at educating and giving advice. Good luck!!

[Paladino]

Thanks, well the second last time I called him by his first name I said his old name & I feel bad about it now. Ever since I've refrained from saying a name as it is still quite weird to say jayson rather than the old name.

[Calliope]

Thanks, well the second last time I called him by his first name I said his old name & I feel bad about it now. Ever since I've refrained from saying a name as it is still quite weird to say jayson rather than the old name.
It should be fine, don't dwell on it. Not saying his name will probably help for a while, but you'll have to say it sooner or later. You'll get used to it, don't worry about a few slip-ups, you shouldn't be expected to be perfect right away.

[Paladino]

It should be fine, don't dwell on it. Not saying his name will probably help for a while, but you'll have to say it sooner or later. You'll get used to it, don't worry about a few slip-ups, you shouldn't be expected to be perfect right away.

Okay thanks.

[JamesSuperBoy]

I guess the best person to ask is your cousin - you can work on getting the name right.