A friend who cuts

[Eurasian guy]

Heyy, very sensitive topic that i need help on.

I have an extremely close friend and shes 15, she cuts a lot. And i really want to help her but im not sure what i can do. She doesn't like talking about it. And i'm stuck on this one.

Her dad left her 2 years back and she's still quite torn up about it, and guys come into her life all the time and play with her emotions. I'm always there for her but i'm not sure what i can do on this case.

Any advice you could offer me on this?

[queenofcontrariety]

It's one of those things where she has to be willing to get help, because forcing her into it will only make things worse. My best advice is try to present her with other options and play the guardian angel card for a while, keep the toxic guys out of her life, don't let her get o
into too much trouble. Still let her live her life but remind her that you're always there and want what's best for her. Try to give her alternatives to cutting if you feel like she's rwdy for it. But if nothing else, be a friend, and a good one, a lot of problems can be solved by knowing there's someone else looking out for us

[PonY]

It's one of those things where she has to be willing to get help, because forcing her into it will only make things worse. My best advice is try to present her with other options and play the guardian angel card for a while, keep the toxic guys out of her life, don't let her get o
into too much trouble. Still let her live her life but remind her that you're always there and want what's best for her. Try to give her alternatives to cutting if you feel like she's rwdy for it. But if nothing else, be a friend, and a good one, a lot of problems can be solved by knowing there's someone else looking out for us

I could have not said it better. Be there for her, take care of her and let her know she matters. As a cutter myself, just having someone along my side makes my life so much better. Not everything is about the cuts.

[Uranus]

It's one of those things where she has to be willing to get help, because forcing her into it will only make things worse. My best advice is try to present her with other options and play the guardian angel card for a while, keep the toxic guys out of her life, don't let her get o
into too much trouble. Still let her live her life but remind her that you're always there and want what's best for her. Try to give her alternatives to cutting if you feel like she's rwdy for it. But if nothing else, be a friend, and a good one, a lot of problems can be solved by knowing there's someone else looking out for us

Yes I totally agree with you on this.
This is where the friend must be willing.
Great advice here. You said it perfectly

[Eurasian guy]

It's one of those things where she has to be willing to get help, because forcing her into it will only make things worse. My best advice is try to present her with other options and play the guardian angel card for a while, keep the toxic guys out of her life, don't let her get o
into too much trouble. Still let her live her life but remind her that you're always there and want what's best for her. Try to give her alternatives to cutting if you feel like she's rwdy for it. But if nothing else, be a friend, and a good one, a lot of problems can be solved by knowing there's someone else looking out for us

I could have not said it better. Be there for her, take care of her and let her know she matters. As a cutter myself, just having someone along my side makes my life so much better. Not everything is about the cuts.

Yes I totally agree with you on this.
This is where the friend must be willing.
Great advice here. You said it perfectly


Thank you all so much, really good advice!. queenofcontrariety, you mentioned alternatives to cutting? what might those be?

[PonY]

The only real alternatives just simply keep her busy, not reminding her of it and taking her out to the mall and etc. Keeping her mood up and not giving her a reason to cut as the only alternative.

[queenofcontrariety]

Thank you all so much, really good advice!. queenofcontrariety, you mentioned alternatives to cutting? what might those be?
Some of the best are things like the rubber band method and the butterfly project, there's a sticky in this section listing most of them, that'd be your best bet

[Eurasian guy]

Some of the best are things like the rubber band method and the butterfly project, there's a sticky in this section listing most of them, that'd be your best bet

I read the butterfly project. It sounds like a really good alternative. I'll bring it up with her discretely if she talks to me about cutting. Today she sent me a photo of her scars on her and she said they were all fading now. Which im so happy for her to hear that. So i told her "You're still the most beautiful girl with or without your scars". She really liked that.

Thanks for bringing this aware to me. Today when i spoke to her and she mentioned cutting a bit, i was really gentle with it and i knew my boundaries and what to say.

[queenofcontrariety]

I read the butterfly project. It sounds like a really good alternative. I'll bring it up with her discretely if she talks to me about cutting. Today she sent me a photo of her scars on her and she said they were all fading now. Which im so happy for her to hear that. So i told her "You're still the most beautiful girl with or without your scars". She really liked that.

Thanks for bringing this aware to me. Today when i spoke to her and she mentioned cutting a bit, i was really gentle with it and i knew my boundaries and what to say.

Glad to have helped, but I'd like to thank you for restoring my faith in humanity, this girl is lucky to have someone like you looking out for her, keep up the good work :thumbsup:

[RRay99]

You're a truly nice guy Oliver, and you care for your friend a lot. My advice would be the same as the others, but I would add one thing: encourage her to see a professional or let her family know. I speak from personal experience on this. Had a friend who tried to overdose on pills because she was so depressed (her parents didn't know). She confided in me, and I did my best to be her rock, but found while I was often able to help her, there were times I couldn't. No matter what I said or did it made no difference. She tried committing suicide again, and it completely ruined me (this time her parents found out). Thankfully she's o.k. and doing better now, but a trained professional can deal with situations and provide advice that a teenager, no matter how much you care, won't be able to. You're a really terrific guy and I wish your friend the best. She's lucky to have you.

[Eurasian guy]

Glad to have helped, but I'd like to thank you for restoring my faith in humanity, this girl is lucky to have someone like you looking out for her, keep up the good work :thumbsup:

It was my pleasure, i just want to do what's best for her and for her to be happy too.

You're a truly nice guy Oliver, and you care for your friend a lot. My advice would be the same as the others, but I would add one thing: encourage her to see a professional or let her family know. I speak from personal experience on this. Had a friend who tried to overdose on pills because she was so depressed (her parents didn't know). She confided in me, and I did my best to be her rock, but found while I was often able to help her, there were times I couldn't. No matter what I said or did it made no difference. She tried committing suicide again, and it completely ruined me (this time her parents found out). Thankfully she's o.k. and doing better now, but a trained professional can deal with situations and provide advice that a teenager, no matter how much you care, won't be able to. You're a really terrific guy and I wish your friend the best. She's lucky to have you.

Aww thankyou Rray x. I'd hate for this girl to become suicidal. I'm doing everything i possibly can to stop that from ever happening. She's been getting better lately. I just got off skype with her.

Ahh nah i'm the lucky one to have her in my life x