Any Advice Appriciated. . .

[elaina9189]

Okay, I have been with the same guy now for a year and three months. He lives with me. He has been living with me for a year. We both come from abusive families and tend to deal with our fights and arguments in a semi-abusive way (name-calling, pushing/shoving, and we've even slapped each other). I love him but I'm starting not to feel the way I use to about him.

My best friend of 10 years (we met when I was 6 and he was 8) has always been there for me and knows the shit I'm struggling with outside of my relationship. He has never had a girlfriend. He fucks girls and we are open about talking about it, just like we talk about my activities. The only time in our entire friendship that we have ever been intimate was my 10th birthday, we lost our virginity to each other. We have never talked about it since. He asked me to his prom two years ago and he has gone with me every time I have needed a date for something and vice versa (even during my relationship because my boyfriend isn't really the school dance/party type of guy) I finally came clean and told him how I felt about him and that I would really like to be his girlfriend. We have been having "secret" dates and stuff but he is in his Sophmore year in college and I am a Junior in highschool. He told me he loves me and wants me to have a good relationship not like what I have with my current boyfriend BUT that he doesn't want a relationship until after college, he wants to have fun. I'm cool with that but his twin brother told me how much he honestly loves me and wants to be with me.

I love my boyfriend but more as a friend and I love my bestie more than anyone... :/ What should I do??

[Zachary G]

its a tough dilemma you are in and i am sure its very confusing for you. if you dont really have strong feelings for your current bf, then i think you need to talk with him and let him know how you truly feel so that way it wouldnt be like you were leading him on.

as far as your bestie goes, he already knows how you feel and you know how he feels, but he has already told you that he is not ready for any type of relationship right now, are you willing to wait for him? at the least, cherish your friendship with him and respect his wanting to "live life".

the big thing here is being upfront with your current boyfriend and letting him know the deal so his feelings dont get hurt in all of this and it gives you time to really figure things out for yourself. thats just my 2 cents.

[SethfromMI]

you been having secret dates with your friend. there is no point in drawing things out with your current boy friend if you are not interested n him and you are going on secret dates behind your back. let him know sooner than later because the longer you draw it out, the worse you will make it.

anyways it sounds like your mind is made up on what you want

[elaina9189]

Okay so update... I broke up with my boyfriend, he got his act together and we realized that living in the same house and going to the same school is difficult when we aren't together and we really do love each other. I came partially clean to him telling him I had gone on a few dates. He was mad but we talked through it and he even admitted cheating on me. So, I think everything is good...