Being more social

[Cognizant]

Idk if this is misplaced or not - the issue isn't a lack of friends (in fact I have some of the best friends I could ever ask for). I also apologize if this sounds fragmented or rambly - I'm too lazy to proof read this. but let me explain my mind:

So if you've lived, visited, or even just heard of the US state of California, you would know greatly about our very laid back, social, party-hard-on-the-beach culture that can be found anywhere in the state (except maybe up near Oregon - nobody lives there). In my opinion, it's almost the social norm to be outgoing and to chat about radical things in California.

Trust me. I would love to be the popular, funny, full-of-stories, and always down to party type of guy. In fact, I envy the people who are like that. There's something about the California culture that just amazes me. The issue is I don't really ever know what to talk about when chatting with people. You could be my best friend, co worker, or just a random kid in my table group at school. I'm always the listener. There's nothing really that special about me, either. I don't play (or really watch) sports, nor do I have a strong fascination with any TV shows. I'm good with talking about music, but most people don't share my taste. In fact, all I'm really good for when having a conversation with me is sex, cars, buses, photography, and sometimes electronics.

My personal goal by the end of 2015 (and effectively my first semester of college) is to be a LOT more social and outgoing. But I don't really know how to become more social or to catch on to social cues without hiding my true personality. Any advice?

[SethfromMI]

well being more of a listener is not a bad thing really. many guys can be more listeners. I would try to start by hanging with your friends more and if you want to, try to be engage with them more. there are a number of things I don't care about, but I try to engage with the person because I care about the person.

try to find people who also share your same taste. meeting new people may be hard for you, but you would be surprise sometimes a simple hello can open doors for you.

best of luck

[Luminous]

When you're being "the listener", try not just to hear but to really listen, you'll pick up what they're saying and eventually become more knowledgeable in the topic and will have a few conversation points for next time.

Try and keep up with the latest news stories and popular movies and music. It's more than likely people in your friends group will overlap with you in some way and you'll have something to talk about. Now I'm not saying you should go see every new movie that's coming out, just if you know your friends really want to see it or at least look up a summary online.

In the end, if you can't relate to your friends, maybe it's time to meet some new people who have similar interests with you. You're not gonna be able to get along perfectly with everyone you meet, and you're not gonna be the same as everyone else either, so don't try and change who you are or anything like that. Good luck!