Ever been screwed by someone else's sexuality?

[CosmicNoodle]

First of all, I know he owes me nothing, and I don't expect anything of him, I respect him more than 99% of people, there, now no one can shout at me (you know who you are)

I have a friend who I've become closer and closer too, I've talked too a few of you about him before now, we understand each other perfectly, and are basically the same person, down to personality, interests, ambitions, physical and mental injures. And I'm not going to lie, I've completely fallen for him, head over freaking heals, he's cute, he gets me, we get on amazingly, he even said, if he was gay or bi he'd date me because he thinks the same of me, and because he could tell I was one of the few people who honestly cared about him, and he's even into kinky sex like me ;)
But that's the problem, IF he was gay, he's straight as a plank, not even been curious, and I'm soooo wishing he was gay, hell, or if I was female, that might work. So basically, the only problem is ether his sexuality, or my gender.

#FirstWorldProblems

Anyone else ever had this problem? Because talking to my other friends, they all think I'm crazy.

[queenofcontrariety]

I haven't gone through this personally but it does make a lot of sense, so don't think you're crazy. It's really easy to fall for someone based on who they are as a person and most of the time hearts don't take sexuality into it. If you know for a fact he isn't game for anything try (key word being try) to back off a little so you don't get too caught up on him. It's a lot easier said than done but sometimes you have to realize that it won't go the way you'd like it to and you have to take all measures to protect yourself. It seems like you're already head over heels for him but my best advice is don't let him realize it, straight guys are usually fine with gay guys or bi guys until they realize that there is a one way attraction. Keep your head held high because eventually someone else will come into your life who will see you in a sexual light and you guys will click as much as you do with this guy.

[SethfromMI]

maybe not with someone as close as you are to your one friend. there have definitely been guys which I knew and liked and wish they were bi or gay. it might be easier for me since I am bi (and currently dating my girl friend) but it can definitely suck to have that attraction, yet realize it is very unlikely something will happen. I feel for you there man

[CosmicNoodle]

I haven't gone through this personally but it does make a lot of sense, so don't think you're crazy. It's really easy to fall for someone based on who they are as a person and most of the time hearts don't take sexuality into it. If you know for a fact he isn't game for anything try (key word being try) to back off a little so you don't get too caught up on him. It's a lot easier said than done but sometimes you have to realize that it won't go the way you'd like it to and you have to take all measures to protect yourself. It seems like you're already head over heels for him but my best advice is don't let him realize it, straight guys are usually fine with gay guys or bi guys until they realize that there is a one way attraction. Keep your head held high because eventually someone else will come into your life who will see you in a sexual light and you guys will click as much as you do with this guy.

I am keeping my distance, he knows I have a little thing for him and he's fine with that, but he doesn't know that I actually LIKE him. I'm trying not to get caught up, but when you talk to them every day and regularly go out with them it's kinda hard not to.

[queenofcontrariety]

I am keeping my distance, he knows I have a little thing for him and he's fine with that, but he doesn't know that I actually LIKE him. I'm trying not to get caught up, but when you talk to them every day and regularly go out with them it's kinda hard not to.

Well the good thing is you realize it, maybe cut back a little on the convos? I know that sounds insane but try gradually swapping someone else into your conversational rotation so he is still involved in your life but you have other people to really rely on. Eventually the feelings should fade or you'll see him with a girl you hate and have no choice but to suppress it. I am genuinely sorry that you're going through this because it must doubly suck, but at least you're learning valuable life skills in the process.

[CosmicNoodle]

Well the good thing is you realize it, maybe cut back a little on the convos? I know that sounds insane but try gradually swapping someone else into your conversational rotation so he is still involved in your life but you have other people to really rely on. Eventually the feelings should fade or you'll see him with a girl you hate and have no choice but to suppress it. I am genuinely sorry that you're going through this because it must doubly suck, but at least you're learning valuable life skills in the process.

It most definitely does suck. And I can't cut back, we both rely on each other quite often, god know what would happen if I ignored his messages some nights. And I see him with girls often, and he's often going on about his sex life or problems with girls. So it's not exactly something I can avoid, but ye, I do die a little inside each time :D Ohh well, looks like I'll have to stop being a pussy and deal with it.

[Typhlosion]

Get him drunk! :lol:

I can't say I know that feeling, but damn that's suckish situation.

[CosmicNoodle]

Get him drunk! :lol:

Looked it up, apparently there's a weird law against rape, who would have thought it? :P
Seriously though, very illegal, no one do that (there, idiot proof)

[mrmee]

Looked it up, apparently there's a weird law against rape, who would have thought it? :P
Seriously though, very illegal, no one do that (there, idiot proof)

I think he meant to have him out if his right mind, get him interested, and maybe when he sobers up he'll have changed his mindset a bit. Maybe he is a little curious at least, he just doesn't want to let anyone know for fear if it getting out. That being said, you could risk asking him to experiment or whatever when its just you two. But thats taking a big risk of creeping him out altogether. Yet another possibility is that he'll decline, but just be flattered by it, and your relationship could go on like it is now.

[James Dean]

I don't know if my situation, if this is considered related. But there would be cute guys in the class that I would find myself attached to. Knowing good and damn well they are not gay, but still dreaming about them and picturing myself together with them in love. So I would never do anything as far as romance is concerned. I would be friends and buddies, but that's it. I think I would even let a couple of them know I was gay, but I wouldn't get too far or too deep attracted to them, because they don't feel the same way.

The best way to approach this is to use this as a learning tool, learn from these experiences. There will be some guys that come along that do feel the same way and maybe you won't be as anxious or scared then. Again, you never know unless you ask. There was a guy who I never in a million years would guess he was gay. I later found out by getting to know him more that he was in fact gay. So I know it's tough and it makes you feel hopeless and that you being gay will make relationships hard. It won't trust me things will work out for you. :)

[phuckphace]

I've been in this same situation a couple of times. in my case I took that risk (risk-taking isn't something I usually do so I should've seen it coming) and in both instances a good friendship was unnecessarily ruined because I just jumped on him like a piece of meat even though I knew he was straight. in hindsight I can see that my behavior around these two ex-friends was shameful and downright disrespectful, and I should've given more thought to how it was to be in their shoes and subjected to unwanted creepiness. the biggest irony? I myself can get creeped out almost to the point of nausea when I'm flirted with by someone that I'm not interested in.

I'd recommend against fooling yourself into believing that he might not care because you're "really close." perhaps that's so for the time being, but you'd be surprised how quickly that can change once the targeted friend finds out you came for the friendship but stayed for the dick. I was very close with these two ex-friends but they were still able to swiftly cut me out of their circle with several clicks of a mouse and a couple of ignored texts.

[Elysium]

Well, sure. I harbored a serious crush on a straight girl for ~9 months. Really, the only thing for it is to get over it.

[Uranus]

Looked it up, apparently there's a weird law against rape, who would have thought it? :P
Seriously though, very illegal, no one do that (there, idiot proof)

Make the rape enjoyable!
Hey, I'm a minor, but if a 19 yr old girl fucked me it'd be (Statutory)rape....would I care? Hell nah!:D

[Hudor]

Idk if it would count as a similar situation. I fell for a guy, badly and madly. We had a lot in common and we had built the friendship slowly and carefully. Eventually we became the best of friends and soon after i discovered what i wanted was more than friendship. I discovered i loved him. We spent a lot of time together and all the time i was careful and cautious. Afraid that i might lose my friendship if i told him but eventually i realized i would have to start telling him. But by the time i had mustered the courage to tell him, he was gone. He had left me without any warning. He is alive i think but far, far from me.
So i didn't exactly get the chance to know whether or not he was bi/gay but judging by what my friends said he was probably straight. Hmmm so there.

[CosmicNoodle]

Again, you never know unless you ask. There was a guy who I never in a million years would guess he was gay. I later found out by getting to know him more that he was in fact gay

Nope, he is most definitely straight, believe me, if he where bi, gay or even curious he wouldn't hide it. Over here it's not exactly something to hide.



I'd recommend against fooling yourself into believing that he might not care because you're "really close." perhaps that's so for the time being, but you'd be surprised how quickly that can change once the targeted friend finds out you came for the friendship but stayed for the dick. I was very close with these two ex-friends but they were still able to swiftly cut me out of their circle with several clicks of a mouse and a couple of ignored texts.

Don't worry, I'm not going to tell him, I worked that out. And he actually wouldn't care, meet him and you'll know that. A gay guy once told him he jerked off thinking about him and he didn't even blink, he was just like "Ok, cool, have fun" and never thought differently of him. But still, I'm not going to tell him, he doesn't need to know.

[Jaseblader]

First of all, I know he owes me nothing, and I don't expect anything of him, I respect him more than 99% of people, there, now no one can shout at me (you know who you are)

I have a friend who I've become closer and closer too, I've talked too a few of you about him before now, we understand each other perfectly, and are basically the same person, down to personality, interests, ambitions, physical and mental injures. And I'm not going to lie, I've completely fallen for him, head over freaking heals, he's cute, he gets me, we get on amazingly, he even said, if he was gay or bi he'd date me because he thinks the same of me, and because he could tell I was one of the few people who honestly cared about him, and he's even into kinky sex like me ;)
But that's the problem, IF he was gay, he's straight as a plank, not even been curious, and I'm soooo wishing he was gay, hell, or if I was female, that might work. So basically, the only problem is ether his sexuality, or my gender.

#FirstWorldProblems

Anyone else ever had this problem? Because talking to my other friends, they all think I'm crazy.

nope, never been through that

[Skitty]

Yeah, I've had a similar problem. Me and this guy were really really good friends, hung out every waking moment and such. Eventually I kinda told him and he got a girlfriend who didn't like the idea of me and him hanging out together, so she accused me of raping him and we had a falling out. We are on okay terms now but I still miss him :P

Best of luck in your predicament, I know how hard this stuff can be :/ Keep us posted if anything changes :)