The Trendy Wolf
November 5th, 2014, 08:16 PM
That is the name I assigned to the following journal entry I wrote during a period of continuous uncertainty during school. This passage is taken word-for-word.
_________________________________________________________________
In the end, and in due time, we will all be forgotten; even so, until then, we will all just be another story.
Why do we live lives of labor? Why not the pursuit of happiness instead? Our educational system to develop our intelligence and knowledge seems to only cloud this possibility. Let's all do what makes the child inside of us happy, and also do what we feel is natural. That way evolution will correct our flaws to the best of its ability without having to work out the rights and wrongs of the universe, a questioning brought about by humanity's development of morals and the teetering pedestal enveloped in a mass of fog which supports them.
We shouldn't be questioning our existence, because doing so will only lead us to insanity, and if not, false conclusions, many of which are portrayed in modern religions.
I no longer see a purpose without a passion. Without it I see no reason, and I would have to feign ignorance within my own mind in order to achieve such a task.
With what we have experienced in our lives, and us exclusively, we will require such an immense amount of stimulus and memory-wiping to achieve the goal of which I speak; we cannot forget what questions remain unanswered.
Perhaps this only comes with the depression, this feeling. It's possible that my lack of passion for understanding, which many believe to be a natural human desire and ambition, is a result of my clinical depression. Even so, what would my purpose be in that case? What would the purpose of tens-of-millions of people be in this world? Are we not human? Are we doomed to be stricken with no motivation? Why shouldn't we simply pursue what makes us feel happiness? It is these questions I ask with a scattered psyche and a delusional plea for sympathy, understanding, and answers.
A world like this would have no competition, no expectations, no signs of success or failure, and no questioning of what or how we are.
Something about it, all of this, doesn't feel right. There are holes in this proposal. I just don't know what is right and wrong, what's the good decision? I don't know if my desire to do good is a result of my human ambition, or if it is merely of the socially driven morals that we are so unknowingly susceptible to.
I just don't want to live my life not knowing if what I am doing is good, bad, or if it simply is without a label, and as a result, purposeless.
One cannot [continuously] live in the moment with consciousness, the knowledge of one's existence.
_________________________________________________________________
I apologize if much of this is quite difficult to follow.
Please do respond if you have any insight on this matter, as it most definitely is a crisis and may even result in a breakdown and suicide, thoughts of which have recently raced through my mind.
_________________________________________________________________
In the end, and in due time, we will all be forgotten; even so, until then, we will all just be another story.
Why do we live lives of labor? Why not the pursuit of happiness instead? Our educational system to develop our intelligence and knowledge seems to only cloud this possibility. Let's all do what makes the child inside of us happy, and also do what we feel is natural. That way evolution will correct our flaws to the best of its ability without having to work out the rights and wrongs of the universe, a questioning brought about by humanity's development of morals and the teetering pedestal enveloped in a mass of fog which supports them.
We shouldn't be questioning our existence, because doing so will only lead us to insanity, and if not, false conclusions, many of which are portrayed in modern religions.
I no longer see a purpose without a passion. Without it I see no reason, and I would have to feign ignorance within my own mind in order to achieve such a task.
With what we have experienced in our lives, and us exclusively, we will require such an immense amount of stimulus and memory-wiping to achieve the goal of which I speak; we cannot forget what questions remain unanswered.
Perhaps this only comes with the depression, this feeling. It's possible that my lack of passion for understanding, which many believe to be a natural human desire and ambition, is a result of my clinical depression. Even so, what would my purpose be in that case? What would the purpose of tens-of-millions of people be in this world? Are we not human? Are we doomed to be stricken with no motivation? Why shouldn't we simply pursue what makes us feel happiness? It is these questions I ask with a scattered psyche and a delusional plea for sympathy, understanding, and answers.
A world like this would have no competition, no expectations, no signs of success or failure, and no questioning of what or how we are.
Something about it, all of this, doesn't feel right. There are holes in this proposal. I just don't know what is right and wrong, what's the good decision? I don't know if my desire to do good is a result of my human ambition, or if it is merely of the socially driven morals that we are so unknowingly susceptible to.
I just don't want to live my life not knowing if what I am doing is good, bad, or if it simply is without a label, and as a result, purposeless.
One cannot [continuously] live in the moment with consciousness, the knowledge of one's existence.
_________________________________________________________________
I apologize if much of this is quite difficult to follow.
Please do respond if you have any insight on this matter, as it most definitely is a crisis and may even result in a breakdown and suicide, thoughts of which have recently raced through my mind.