So its err... complicated

[Hudor]

I've been in a fix lately and I would be grateful if you guys could help me out with this

I'll start off with some background info. Okay so once upon a time there was a guy, my best friend(idk whether he was straight or not but i had my suspicions) and i fell in love with him. I developed serious crush over the past two years when we became quite close friends. But only about a few months ago he stopped talking to all of his friends but the real blow came when he started avoiding me too. i guess it was because he was in depression due to some reasons i am not posting here.

Anyway the last few months were hellish for me. In that period i also started college and i met another guy. I took to him instantly and have had a nice friendship with him over the last three months. But the problem was i couldn't understand why i was getting attached to him so much so easily. I mean i just came out to him and apart from VTers he's the first person to know.

Then recently i understood why. I had been putting it down to good vibes and his good nature but it was more than that. When i compared him and my former best friend, i discovered they had a lot of similarities. Then i understood i was getting close to him because [-]unconsciously [/-] subconsciously i was seeing in him the person i loved.

This guy's straight so I'm not really expecting a relationship but my question is: should i let him know he's a lot like the other guy and that I've been getting attached to him because of that? I'll obviously make it clear that i don't want to be in a relationship with him and I'll have to make myself understand that as well. But idk i think he should know that. Suggestions??

[James Dean]

Well I mean he seems kinda open minded already from what you mentioned. I would tell him you just find him cute but you don't want to date him or anything. I think by just you admitting that to him, that will be weight lifted off your shoulders. You don't have to actually or physically be in a relationship with him. Because for all you know he might not even go that way.

I will say it is best to stop comparing people. Everyone is different and no two people are the same. I think the quicker you realize that these are two completely different individuals, the better your situation will be. Probably don't get too attached to these straight guys, or guys who you don't think are gay. You might get yourself into a problem and suffer cause hurt to yourself. Don't just assume things. Actually ask him and tell him what his sexuality is. If he isn't gay, you can find him attractive and cute, but don't lust over him. Find someone who shares your sexualiy and respect his. I hope things go well for you though. Don't be scared. :)

[Hudor]

I will say it is best to stop comparing people. Everyone is different and no two people are the same. I think the quicker you realize that these are two completely different individuals, the better your situation will be. Probably don't get too attached to these straight guys, or guys who you don't think are gay. You might get yourself into a problem and suffer cause hurt to yourself. Don't just assume things. Actually ask him and tell him what his sexuality is. If he isn't gay, you can find him attractive and cute, but don't lust over him. Find someone who shares your sexualiy and respect his. I hope things go well for you though. Don't be scared. :)

Okay my fault, i didn't make it clear in the first place. I know they are two different individuals and I can see the differences quite clearly myself but they have a lot of similarities which I can't help not noticing. You are right I'll stop comparing them though.

Probably don't get too attached to these straight guys, or guys who you don't think are gay. You might get yourself into a problem and suffer cause hurt to yourself. Don't just assume things. Actually ask him and tell him what his sexuality is. If he isn't gay, you can find him attractive and cute, but don't lust over him. Find someone who shares your sexualiy and respect his.

The first one idk I never actually asked him because by the time i knew i had fallen for him, he had drifted apart but he may be bi. The second one is straight and I know because i specifically asked him. In fact he stated he is 'straight as an arrow' XD

Well I mean he seems kinda open minded already from what you mentioned. I would tell him you just find him cute but you don't want to date him or anything. I think by just you admitting that to him, that will be weight lifted off your shoulders. You don't have to actually or physically be in a relationship with him. Because for all you know he might not even go that way.

Yea he is quite open-minded. Well for now he has fallen sick so I'll wait till he recovers. I don't think a relationship apart from friendship may even be possible but you never know, he might be in denial(but that's a a very very wild hope)
You know the thing is the line separating a friendship and a relationship is very thin for me because i tend to get very close with my friends and apart from being romantically and sexually involved with them i share most of everything. And I don't make a lot of friends, my circle is very small. In fact for now all over the world, i think i could call only three or four people good friends.
So in short a friendship is in fact a relationship for me without any romantic/sexual activity involved.
Thanks for the advice C: