He got attached to me after only 3 weeks..?

[Kathy]

Basically, I met this guy 3 weeks ago and he got attached to me the second we started talking. He fell in love with me at first sight. We talked everyday for those 3 weeks, and we hung out a couple of times. I honestly wasn't feeling the connection but I still kept hanging out with him because my friends told me to give him a shot. However, nothing changed. I still didn't feel anything towards him. I finally decided to tell him that it's not going to work out after he sent me this huge poem about how much he likes me. In all honesty, I thought it was really creepy how romantic he was even though we weren't dating or anything.

Needless to say, he's devastated.
Today, I found out that on Tuesday, he ordered 2 dozen roses to be ordered to my house, which are probably going to come today. He also planned to take me horseback riding. Remember, we've only known each other for 3 weeks. And he's making a big deal out of this whole thing.

I don't even know what to think. The kid really likes me, but I'm just not feeling any chemistry between us.

Opinions? Should I be friends with him at least?

[SethfromMI]

well if you are not feeling any chemistry you have to tell the guy. esp before he spends anymore money on you. as far as you being friends...you can try. when you are telling him be nice but honest. you can offer you will still be friends with him, but realize there is a chance he is not going to want that, esp if he is as attached to you as you are saying

it is better to do it sooner than later

[Body odah Man]

Basically, I met this guy 3 weeks ago and he got attached to me the second we started talking. He fell in love with me at first sight. We talked everyday for those 3 weeks, and we hung out a couple of times. I honestly wasn't feeling the connection but I still kept hanging out with him because my friends told me to give him a shot. However, nothing changed. I still didn't feel anything towards him. I finally decided to tell him that it's not going to work out after he sent me this huge poem about how much he likes me. In all honesty, I thought it was really creepy how romantic he was even though we weren't dating or anything.

Needless to say, he's devastated.
Today, I found out that on Tuesday, he ordered 2 dozen roses to be ordered to my house, which are probably going to come today. He also planned to take me horseback riding. Remember, we've only known each other for 3 weeks. And he's making a big deal out of this whole thing.

I don't even know what to think. The kid really likes me, but I'm just not feeling any chemistry between us.

Opinions? Should I be friends with him at least?

Poor guy. While I agree he's handled it creepily, it sounds like he's head over heels in love with you. Still, shit happens so you shuldn't feel guilty if you don't share his feelings. And I'd try to be friends with him, give the kid something at least

[Hudor]

There are three things.
First off if you don't feel anything for him you'll need to tell him so straightforwardly. Don't give him foolish hopes or try to fate him out of pity. That can never work. It may be painful for him if he really loves you but it would save both of you a lot of misery eventually.

Secondly, there isn't any requisite time period only after which one can fall in love. Some people sometimes do get an instant connection. Its rare but such a thing happens.

Lastly, it is possible he may be overdoing things in the hope of eliciting a response from you to at least some extent. As in if he's giving a 100% input he may be expecting an output that is your response of around 10,20% at least. Well that's just what i think.

[Waleedbt]

You went along, you led him through.... i mean like why? to give him a shot? really? its either you feel something or not, and for 3 weeks, that's not a small period of time if you are hanging everyday.

Don't go horseback riding , take the roses, say be polite and thank him and tell him that you cant do it, don't lead him more.

[queenofcontrariety]

Time for the not so sweet advice: cut him off. It doesn't have to be permanent, just to get him to stop spending money on you. No one wants to crush another person but if you're really uncomfortable, do it, but on your bitch girl panties and make him realize you aren't interested. Say it very explicitly and leave nothing for him to cling to because he will and then it'll just get worse

[James Dean]

Tell him thank you for sending the flowers and be persistent that the two of you can remain friends. Try to be kindly to him, he means well and has strong feelings for you. Although, he has to respect your decision. He will eventually get over it. It is up to as to whether or not you want to eventually make something out of this.

[Elysium]

That's creepy. You already told him it wasn't going to work out, right? Maybe say it a little more forcefully or explicitly. It is not romantic to pursue someone even after they've rejected you; it's obnoxious and uncomfortable for them. It may be best to cut him off, at least for a little while, so that he gets the picture, but I don't see any need to strike friendship out of the picture.

Also, since I've been in your position or something similar, please don't blame yourself. It's not your fault he fell for you so hard, and it's not your fault that you didn't develop feelings for him. You didn't lead him on, you gave him a shot to see how you felt and it didn't work out and you said as much. This is not your fault in any way, shape, or form. I'm not sure if you're uncertain about that or not, but I know I was, so I'm offering it to you.

[Kathy]

Thanks everyone, really great inputs. :)
Last night, I went out with friends and he ended up being there, too. We didn't really talk and there was some awkward tension here and there. He looked pretty down the whole night. He ended up texting me later at night, and basically said that even though he has 0 chances with me, he's still not going to lose hope. So yeah, even though I repeatedly tell him I don't want anything serious, he's still going to try. I think we will just have to stay friends, because he obviously can't cut me off from his life completely.