Advice for the friend of an asexual

[eugaurie]

As homophobic or whatever the word is for asexuality as the title sounds, believe me when I say I have no problem with anyone of any gender or any sexual orientation or anything like that. However my problem is with one of my friends who is very admirably an open asexual male.

The reason this is a problem is because we're both in school and they continually needlessly corrects habitual assumptions of me saying 'he' or 'she' when I'm fairly certain of the persons gender. Furthermore they constantly instigate debates on the differences between sexuality and gender and 'how bad a cisgender society is' at very inappropriate times, for example during maths lessons which often brings the teacher into it which simply disrupts the lesson.

The way the usual 'debates' go is someone says something like calling him a 'he' and he corrects them, they're initially confused, someone questions his gender then someone who is immature makes a stupid comment. I then ask him to not engage in a massive class discussion and to just move on. However this never happens.

I still like my friend and I don't like how bad it sounds to say what I've said. However am I really the bad guy for getting frustrated with someone who is so arrogant (I am aware that I didn't really give reason to perceive him as arrogant, but trust me he is) and self-righteous.

I know this isn't really a question, but I just wanted to know what others think about this. Yeah, I know I'm an awful person and friend but whatever..

[Zachary G]

youre entitled to your feelings and your opinion, but you cant let what he does have any affect on your life and how you live it.

[JamesSuperBoy]

no you are not the bad guy in this hopefully others will grow up - maybe your teachers should have more control over the class.

[phuckphace]

he's an obnoxious preening peacock who needs to be shunned, if you ask me. narcissists are a waste of time to befriend because the friendship is never reciprocal or meaningful in any way, they're only friends with themselves.

[Skitty]

Yep, sounds like he is a little attention hog. Personally, I think someone who actually cared about a topic like this wouldn't try and force his/her/[insert possessive pronoun here] opinions on everyone else. Steer clear :3

[James Dean]

I don't really know his story, nor do I know his reasons behind his opinions. I do however know that people are constantly and frequently bullied for standing against or standing behind sexuality related topics. So that's not ok that if someone is attacked over something like that. I will say that he is entitled to his opinion and it should just end at that. This is a very sensitive and difficult topic to discuss. It does become a debate in some ways as there are conflicting opinions and sides to the issues. Though there is a time and place to bring up certain things. I hope things do end well with this person though.

[Karkat]

...Are you sure you don't mean agender? Or, at least, something of that ilk? I mean, gender and sexuality are not interchangeable, prissy as you want to call me for saying it.

I feel like not wanting to be misgendered is a perfectly legitimate thing to want, but I also feel that your friend may be going about informing others of their gender the wrong way. (In fact, pretentious and pushy LGBT do a hell of a lot more damage to the LGBT movement than uninformed cishet people.)

So I feel like you're correct in not feeling comfortable with your friend's actions- I wouldn't either (and I'm trans???), but you know, I feel for em as well.