I'm stuck

[ZzeWatermelon]

Hey guys,

I'm fifteen. And I had a boyfriend about two years ago, we're still in touch, and I still have feelings for him. He got nicer, more mature, cuter with time and the feelings seem to be getting stronger.
We met at a summer camp, we were both thirteen and a half, and we instantly liked each other, and started dating after two weeks... or so.
We live in different countries, and it was pretty hard. And we were dating more "seriously" for the first time in our lives, and we didn't want to loose that feeling of truly liking someone. Then we eventually broke up, it was a mutual decision.
I suggested that we get back together a lot of times, but he continues to say that I should move to his country first, because I'm too far. I feel like he doesn't pay that much attention to me though - as he used to. And we didn't see each other in real life, for two years (since the camp) we just texted, and talked on Skype.
Even our Skype conversations are uncommon. We can talk for hours, or we can just sit there and never hang out - until one or two in the morning, just doing our own stuff. I feel some kind of connection, and I think that he's interested, but he probably doesn't want to get back together.

The problem is that I feel that I won't date anyone else. Maybe I feel "stuck" on this one guy, even though I had other crushes, I can't actually imagine dating anyone else! You guys are probably going to tell me that: Oh dear, you're fifteen, you're young blablabla... and I know that.

I feel like I will never date another person though. I can't get over it. What do you think of this whole situation? Will I ever win him back too? I actually suspect that the whole "long distance relationship problem" is an excuse for something else. Maybe he hasn't seen me for too long, and isn't just that interested. But when we dated, he was more interested than I was. :D

I know how annoying, and problematic this might sound, but it's just such a big thing for me. Thank you so much.

[Zachary G]

they say distance is supposed to make the heart grow fonder, but thats not always the case. since your break up, maybe he has realized that the reality of having a long distance relationship isnt something for him at this point in his life. though he seemed very interested before, it could be that he has lost interest in the prospect of ever having a real relationship with you because the two of you live so far away and the frequent texting and skyping isnt enough for him. he could be craving that physical connection (not sex) that we all so desperately need. Its not that he isnt interested in you because i am sure he is, i think its the distance thing thats got him turned off. you need to ask him and see what his thoughts are on the subject.

[maniamsmart]

Poor you. It's okay, don't be sad. I don't want to sound like a person who wants to ruin your day, but I do want you to be aware of the truth. Please take this what I am going to say to you with a very open mind because I've seen this happen so many times.

You are young. You may have never been in love, and I highly doubt you know what love is (not to offend you), because you haven't had much experience. But it's part of life, and it's part of life to start by not knowing and slowly learning. You feel like you are stuck but you really aren't, you are just so infatuated with this one person because it brought you so much happiness. And I understand that you feel like you really love this guy, but the honest truth is, that you only met him once at a camp, and those feelings for the first day meeting someone and being with them can be so strong, and can feel so real, but it isn't really love.

Love is everlasting, and it doesn't diminish, it grows. It seems to me like he doesn't really love you, he just likes you. And there are going to be guys in your life that will truly love you. The fact that he doesn't speak to you much anymore could very well be because of what the user above me stated, that he lost interest and felt that he needed that physical connection. But I think it's more the fact that you both aren't ready for such a relationship that has such a huge obstacle in between it, living in different countries.

I think you should take this as a learning experience, and not force the relationship. I mean, if he really does want to give the relationship a go again, then that's fine, but please don't put so much hope in it because you may get really hurt in the end if you throw your heart at him and release all your feelings. It can be very difficult to date online, and with someone who hasn't date very much it can be even harder, because they don't fully understand how unconditional love works.

My best advice to you for your next steps of actions are as follows. Express to him how you feel, and ask him if he feels the same way for you. Remind him of the good memories you had with each other and ask if he misses them. If he does, and if he ends up wanting to get back together with you, then just try to take it slowly, because pouring your heart out and falling for him too hard can make you get hurt in the end. And maybe if you two can last for a long time, then maybe you two can meet. But, if he ends up not wanting to be with you, and just doesn't pay much attention anymore, then it's most likely because as the user before me stated, he really has lost interest, and that ecstatic love that you felt before, he just doesn't feel anymore. For what reason that could be caused from, I am not sure, perhaps the distance, perhaps that you don't talk much anymore, perhaps him being discouraged, perhaps him not having hope, another girl maybe, maybe he got bored of you, it could be anything. But one thing I really hope you believe me in, is that you will find another guy. And when you do, you will fall in love with him even more, and you'll hopefully have some more experience and apply it to that relationship.

It can be hard to think of dating someone else when you are so in love with someone, but believe me, it can happen and it's amazing how the brain can suddenly just start loving someone else even more. You just need to wait for the right time and for the right person. You are not alone, many people feel like this too, it's just fear and insecurity that you won't find anyone else, but you will.

[ZzeWatermelon]

Are you sure that someone else will like me though?

[maniamsmart]

Are you sure that someone else will like me though?

Of course, a lot of guys are looking for girls like you, who really want a relationship filled with love, care, and honesty. So I have no doubt in my mind you'll find the right one.

[ZzeWatermelon]

Thanks, that's really kind of you. :)

[maniamsmart]

Thanks, that's really kind of you. :)

You're welcome! Thank you for the question, am always here to help :)