Self harm and friends

[Miserabilia]

I've noticed that lately I've (subconsciously?) been meeting and making freinds with a lot of people that self harm.
It's awkward because they (probably?) don't know I self harm and they aren't open about it either even though I can see.

Anyone have friends that self harm? Did you tell them/did they tell you?

[UnknownError]

You'll realise after a while that a lot of people from all kind of backgrounds self harm. It's pretty common to have at least one friend that does. I know of people in every "clique" in my school that have done it and half of them are ones you would never have guessed. So yeah I've had friends that self harm and it's nearly always just been one of those things that you find out somehow, nobody really told/asked.

[Karkat]

A LOT of my friends have/do self harm, and I usually didn't find out about it until years later, as most are not open about it, and are very good at hiding it as well. I don't think most people know I self harm. It's just one of those things.

[queenofcontrariety]

I mean I'm probably the last person anyone expects and no one every really noticed, there are some groups who are just more open (?) About it. It's not something everyone is comfortable talking about so don't push it right away, let the friendships settle into place and I guarantee it'll come up. I only have one friend I'm still friends with that I talk to about my harming but I've been too scared to tell her about my latest relapse. It's a difficult thing to discuss for me. The only way I found out was by just mutually talking about our issues in life, it was really organic so I don't recommend pushing it.

[Miserabilia]

You'll realise after a while that a lot of people from all kind of backgrounds self harm. It's pretty common to have at least one friend that does. I know of people in every "clique" in my school that have done it and half of them are ones you would never have guessed. So yeah I've had friends that self harm and it's nearly always just been one of those things that you find out somehow, nobody really told/asked.

A LOT of my friends have/do self harm, and I usually didn't find out about it until years later, as most are not open about it, and are very good at hiding it as well. I don't think most people know I self harm. It's just one of those things.

I mean I'm probably the last person anyone expects and no one every really noticed, there are some groups who are just more open (?) About it. It's not something everyone is comfortable talking about so don't push it right away, let the friendships settle into place and I guarantee it'll come up. I only have one friend I'm still friends with that I talk to about my harming but I've been too scared to tell her about my latest relapse. It's a difficult thing to discuss for me. The only way I found out was by just mutually talking about our issues in life, it was really organic so I don't recommend pushing it.

That's quite interesting.

I just recently started noticing how many people self harm, or have scars. With some it's very obvious because it's so severe, with others it looks like a distant memory almost.

[CosmicNoodle]

I've noticed that lately I've (subconsciously?) been meeting and making friends with a lot of people that self harm.
It's awkward because they (probably?) don't know I self harm and they aren't open about it either even though I can see.

Anyone have friends that self harm? Did you tell them/did they tell you?

I now have about 10 friends, and all the ones I'm closest with self harm as well. We get each other, we understand what it's like for each other to be in that place, so we mesh well. Plus since we are in the open about it with each other we can help each other with it.

I'd highly recommend talking to your friends about it, once it's out in the open the support you can give each other is amazing.

[queenofcontrariety]

We get each other, we understand what it's like for each other to be in that place, so we mesh well. Plus since we are in the open about it with each other we can help each other with it.

I'd highly recommend talking to your friends about it, once it's out in the open the support you can give each other is amazing.
Is it sad that I almost wish I had that kind of a situation? Like my one friend who knows didn't even bat an eyelash when I told her I relapsed after a year or even acknowledged it. The groups in my school where everyone knows they harm aren't really all that inviting and we probably are doing it for totally different reasons. So if you have the opportunity to give yourself a support system I'd highly recommend it, you'll be able to keep things in check a little better and always have other people in your boat when you need them.

[Miserabilia]

I now have about 10 friends, and all the ones I'm closest with self harm as well. We get each other, we understand what it's like for each other to be in that place, so we mesh well. Plus since we are in the open about it with each other we can help each other with it.

I'd highly recommend talking to your friends about it, once it's out in the open the support you can give each other is amazing.

Is it sad that I almost wish I had that kind of a situation? Like my one friend who knows didn't even bat an eyelash when I told her I relapsed after a year or even acknowledged it. The groups in my school where everyone knows they harm aren't really all that inviting and we probably are doing it for totally different reasons. So if you have the opportunity to give yourself a support system I'd highly recommend it, you'll be able to keep things in check a little better and always have other people in your boat when you need them.

Thanks guys, I don't really know them super well though.
Well, I've known them for years but I'm not really close to them. I've only more recently starting to become kind of "friends", though not like best friends or amazing friends or anything. Sigh.

I definetly don't know them well enough yet but if I ever do I'd realy like to share my self harm because I've never ever shared it.

[Babs]

Ever since I joined VT, I realized more people self-harm than I initially thought. I'm home schooled and don't speak to as many people as public schoolers might, but VT definitely made my realize that it's not as uncommon as I thought, and it made me feel less alone.

[Amy123]

Lots of people self harm these days

[Abhorrence]

None of my friends self-harm. One of my best friends used to and we share stories from time to time about how awkward it is for people to see our scars but that's about it. I had a girlfriend last year who I was with for the entire year who started self-harming like three months into our relationship. I was already doing it then and she knew about it so I felt guilty, like I had made her start. Eventually she got out of control, she was so suicidal and I couldn't take it, I was selfish and broke up with her because I couldn't cope with my mental illness and hers. She tried to kill herself the next day but me and her best friend managed to call the police and her parents on time to stop her. That was the scariest day of my life and I never want to relive that.

[Luminous]

I don't have lots of friends that self harm but some do. Those that don't are really supportive, though. I might have some friends that self harm I just don't know it - most of my friends have depression or anxiety or something like that.

[Miserabilia]

I don't have lots of friends that self harm but some do. Those that don't are really supportive, though. I might have some friends that self harm I just don't know it - most of my friends have depression or anxiety or something like that.

I'm beginning to think the same. Well not all my friends or most, but definetly a lot of them.

Ever since I joined VT, I realized more people self-harm than I initially thought. I'm home schooled and don't speak to as many people as public schoolers might, but VT definitely made my realize that it's not as uncommon as I thought, and it made me feel less alone.

I also think it has to do with self harmers being more likely to join a forum like this to vent, I guess?

None of my friends self-harm. One of my best friends used to and we share stories from time to time about how awkward it is for people to see our scars but that's about it. I had a girlfriend last year who I was with for the entire year who started self-harming like three months into our relationship. I was already doing it then and she knew about it so I felt guilty, like I had made her start. Eventually she got out of control, she was so suicidal and I couldn't take it, I was selfish and broke up with her because I couldn't cope with my mental illness and hers. She tried to kill herself the next day but me and her best friend managed to call the police and her parents on time to stop her. That was the scariest day of my life and I never want to relive that.

Wow... What a story! ):
Good to hear you're both okay .

[romes3]

I have a few that self harm/did. I didn't know until they asked me if I did because they recognized the signs and caught my lies. I was surprised to find out that they did, but now we can help each other.