Clearly Mistaken
October 26th, 2014, 01:50 PM
I'd like to start off that I have been viewing this forum as a guest for about the past 4 or 5 years and I finally decided to make an account.
This post isn't completely related with sexuality or anything of that sort.
I have a complete fear of commitment and I've never had this until a girl from high school (over the course of three years) completely mislead me, with love. Essentially to conclude it all into a few sentences, I had committed myself to her (it was my first serious relationship) and she had made me to believe that she had committed to me. I was completely mislead. The depression that I went thru was detrimental and I wouldn't ever wish it on my worst enemy.
So here I am, taking a year off from college due to a few personal reasons and I'm not longer in the same city as I was. I have my space and met new people, and most importantly: I was finally starting to get over this girl.
Let's jump a few months forward up-to August 2014. I've met this guy on Twitter... Now, I've always kind of shown some physical attraction towards guys... But never have I ever considered myself to "like" a guy. But this guy... He iives about 300 miles away and I had gone to visit a friend near that city and I made it a point to go thru the city he was in, just to see him. I was incredibly nervous and excited to see him. I've never met a guy nearly as sweet, compassionate, and someone so amazing... The thing is, is that I've actually started to grow emotions for this guy... I've told him all of my concerns and how excited I am, yet nervous. He isn't out to his family and neither of us consider us "gay." We both agreed that it's stupid you should have to label someone and we're just happy to be in each others lives. I still fancy women, very much. I just want someone that won't lead me on and I suppose seems to be genuine.
My problem is, is that with the distance: I find myself become really jealous, really easy. I told him I didn't want himself to commit to me because I don't want to hurt him by doing something stupid and end up breaking that commitment. I also told him I want him to do anything that he wants, just please, please, please don't lead my emotions on. He always reassures me and then I find another reason to find my trust in him...
I guess my question is, is what should I do about the jealousy? Do you have an kind of advice that I should know, being in this position in my life at only 18 years old? I should also note that no one knows about this guy in my life, and how I am slowly but surely falling for this guy.
Thanks in advance,
Clearly Mistaken
This post isn't completely related with sexuality or anything of that sort.
I have a complete fear of commitment and I've never had this until a girl from high school (over the course of three years) completely mislead me, with love. Essentially to conclude it all into a few sentences, I had committed myself to her (it was my first serious relationship) and she had made me to believe that she had committed to me. I was completely mislead. The depression that I went thru was detrimental and I wouldn't ever wish it on my worst enemy.
So here I am, taking a year off from college due to a few personal reasons and I'm not longer in the same city as I was. I have my space and met new people, and most importantly: I was finally starting to get over this girl.
Let's jump a few months forward up-to August 2014. I've met this guy on Twitter... Now, I've always kind of shown some physical attraction towards guys... But never have I ever considered myself to "like" a guy. But this guy... He iives about 300 miles away and I had gone to visit a friend near that city and I made it a point to go thru the city he was in, just to see him. I was incredibly nervous and excited to see him. I've never met a guy nearly as sweet, compassionate, and someone so amazing... The thing is, is that I've actually started to grow emotions for this guy... I've told him all of my concerns and how excited I am, yet nervous. He isn't out to his family and neither of us consider us "gay." We both agreed that it's stupid you should have to label someone and we're just happy to be in each others lives. I still fancy women, very much. I just want someone that won't lead me on and I suppose seems to be genuine.
My problem is, is that with the distance: I find myself become really jealous, really easy. I told him I didn't want himself to commit to me because I don't want to hurt him by doing something stupid and end up breaking that commitment. I also told him I want him to do anything that he wants, just please, please, please don't lead my emotions on. He always reassures me and then I find another reason to find my trust in him...
I guess my question is, is what should I do about the jealousy? Do you have an kind of advice that I should know, being in this position in my life at only 18 years old? I should also note that no one knows about this guy in my life, and how I am slowly but surely falling for this guy.
Thanks in advance,
Clearly Mistaken