I'm afraid to have friends..

[Melodic]

Yes, I finally admitted it. I am really flipping afraid to have friends. I will admit there has been plenty of situations I could've make more. Now, I will note I have one friend. But he's pretty much my boyfriend and I really don't think it's healthy for him to be the only person I'm close to. I'm afraid that if I get more friends, they will leave or hurt me. I've gone through countless people hurting me in the past and each time it makes me even more afraid to approach other people. I use to be a social butterfly but now I've pretty much vanished back into a cocoon. Everytime I see crowds of teenagers, it makes me more depressed that I'm not that crowd. How do I snap out of this?

[SethfromMI]

Yes, I finally admitted it. I am really flipping afraid to have friends. I will admit there has been plenty of situations I could've make more. Now, I will note I have one friend. But he's pretty much my boyfriend and I really don't think it's healthy for him to be the only person I'm close to. I'm afraid that if I get more friends, they will leave or hurt me. I've gone through countless people hurting me in the past and each time it makes me even more afraid to approach other people. I use to be a social butterfly but now I've pretty much vanished back into a cocoon. Everytime I see crowds of teenagers, it makes me more depressed that I'm not that crowd. How do I snap out of this?

I would just slowly try to place yourself in situations where you have the opportunity to meet new people. play a sport (depending where you join, some people gather to play something like frisbee just for fun)? join a club (I think I read you are home schooled which does make things a little more difficult).

but above all, try to begin to let your desire for friends to overcome your fear. people let us down and that is never an easy thing to live with. but honestly, we can't let that stop us from getting close to people. true, what if they let us down? but what if they become one of the most important people in our lifr? what if they are a valuable part of my life? I can't imagine life without some of the friends I have.

so start small. you dont need 1,00 friends, or 100 friends or whatever. friendship is about quality mot quantity. be yourself. but you will have to be willing to take a step and trust someone, if your not willing to, then you are not going to be able to have that super meaningful friendship.

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

I've learned from personal experience, that when you try to walk and fall, you have to get up and try again. Otherwise, you'll be left on your ass in the dirt while everyone runs by you.

Metaphors aside, you have to keep trying, sometimes in life you'll stumble and fall, but if you never fet back up, you'll never get anywhere. (Goddamn metaphors.)

[Karkat]

Hah, honestly, I have this problem as well, so not a ton of advice.

I guess in the end, you have to decide what hurts more: being afraid, or being alone.

[JamesSuperBoy]

Yes, I finally admitted it. I am really flipping afraid to have friends. I will admit there has been plenty of situations I could've make more. Now, I will note I have one friend. But he's pretty much my boyfriend and I really don't think it's healthy for him to be the only person I'm close to. I'm afraid that if I get more friends, they will leave or hurt me. I've gone through countless people hurting me in the past and each time it makes me even more afraid to approach other people. I use to be a social butterfly but now I've pretty much vanished back into a cocoon. Everytime I see crowds of teenagers, it makes me more depressed that I'm not that crowd. How do I snap out of this?

maybe its not a snap out of it thing - perhaps small steps towards trusting people - I saw your post about a new dog - maybes something to share with others like dog walking or park whatever. Its easy to say join in do this do that make friends but you could also set a limit - boundary and start just getting to know people before you commit to friendship have people you can hang out with - but then not jumping into a friendship.

[Whiskers]

I actually cried a little while reading this because I feel the same way because my parents always told me "better safe than sorry" so i thought if I don't have friends they can't hurt me now I'm just considered an anti social loser at school

[Body odah Man]

I feel really sorry that you have suck inner turmoil about this. all I can do is concur with the dude that said you gotta keep trying. Eventually you'll find a good friend. Good luck

[Zachary G]

simplest answer: try not to become so emotionally attached to someone you want to be friends with; if you remove the attachment then you also remove the hurt should they go away or move on. its easier said than done, but its not impossible.

[DeadEyes]

simplest answer: try not to become so emotionally attached to someone you want to be friends with; if you remove the attachment then you also remove the hurt should they go away or move on. its easier said than done, but its not impossible.

But if the other person is getting attached to you and wants to be close friends then, you should also let yourself become attached to that person but then, like in any kinds of relationships, there's a risk to get hurt so, choose your friends wisely.