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View Full Version : I've... Done it again.

Karkat
October 21st, 2014, 06:54 PM
In case you're wondering why again, (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=204548)

I've said some pretty awful things to Charlie because I'm frustrated with our situation, and I'm a little out of control right now. I might be manic again. And that terrifies me.

What I've said includes, but is not limited to:
-I wish I'd never gotten to know you
-I wish I didn't love you/wasn't as close/attached
-I hate you
-I'm done

Basically, every time I have a manic episode, this shit seems to happen because I can no longer control my anger and I'm not completely "in my right mind"

That's not what this is about. That is background information so you know where I stand.

I don't hate him. I love him a lot. I am CRYING right now, because I know I've hurt him deeply- not to mention that he's at work, and I knew it. He's going to be a mess now. And I'm responsible for that. I have hurt the man I am in love with.

I have no idea how to fix this. He's never going to be able to look at me the same again, and even if I told him that this happens because I'm bipolar- that's even worse! Then he's going to have to live with the fact that it can and will happen again.

I just feel like shit right now. Maybe I should just give him one less thing to worry about in life. I seem to just be a burden to everyone right now anyways...
sweetcake
October 22nd, 2014, 07:36 AM
After chatting with you I know that you're a very nice person Ren:) you didn't mean saying those. I'm sure your Charlie would understand everything. If you know he loves and accepts you as much as you do, tell him about you being bipolar, he's bound to accept it. I'm sure everything would work out-if it hasn't already.
Horatio Nelson
October 22nd, 2014, 07:54 AM
Ren, I'm gonn be honest. If he really cares about you, he will know that you aren't yourself in those manic "episodes". You are a very nice person, not a terrible one. You have to understand this yourself too. It probably doesn't help the situation by you becoming extremely distressed. Try and calm down.

I would imagine you have already talked to him since this post? I hope things are better.

But please, don't hurt yourself.
Karkat
October 22nd, 2014, 07:03 PM
After chatting with you I know that you're a very nice person Ren:) you didn't mean saying those. I'm sure your Charlie would understand everything. If you know he loves and accepts you as much as you do, tell him about you being bipolar, he's bound to accept it. I'm sure everything would work out-if it hasn't already.

Aww, thank you :)

We've actually kinda resolved this issue, so things are doing better now, though the initial issue that caused the frustration still stands. But hey, it's just going to be something we have to work to resolve.

But yeah, thanks. :)

Ren, I'm gonn be honest. If he really cares about you, he will know that you aren't yourself in those manic "episodes". You are a very nice person, not a terrible one. You have to understand this yourself too. It probably doesn't help the situation by you becoming extremely distressed. Try and calm down.

I would imagine you have already talked to him since this post? I hope things are better.

But please, don't hurt yourself.

Hah, thanks. I just get really scared when I can't control myself anymore.

Yeah, we've more or less worked things out. We're still kind of having some issues, but they're not super huge atm, and ones that will just take time and patience to resolve.

I'm doing better now, and I think I'll be ok. :) I'm going on vacation this weekend, and I might have a job soon, so things are looking up right now.
Horatio Nelson
October 22nd, 2014, 07:12 PM
Aww, thank you :)

We've actually kinda resolved this issue, so things are doing better now, though the initial issue that caused the frustration still stands. But hey, it's just going to be something we have to work to resolve.

But yeah, thanks. :)



Hah, thanks. I just get really scared when I can't control myself anymore.

Yeah, we've more or less worked things out. We're still kind of having some issues, but they're not super huge atm, and ones that will just take time and patience to resolve.

I'm doing better now, and I think I'll be ok. :) I'm going on vacation this weekend, and I might have a job soon, so things are looking up right now.

That's good. :)
ImagineRepublicCity
October 22nd, 2014, 08:02 PM
Locked by OPs request :locked2: