Anti-Depressants not working at all : vent

[wonderland]

I've been taking anti-depressants for well over a year now but at the moment they don't seem to be helping in the slightest. I had to change from one type to another in summer after i overdosed badly on the first type and my body pretty much rejected them -even in small doses- after that. Taking even one tablet could cause me to vomit, i guess my body thinks i'm poisoning it again and's trying to prevent it or some shit.

The medication i'm on right now is at a very small dosage and my psychologist is reluctant to increase the dose any time soon as she's still concerned about me overdosing.

I guess I can understand why she's reluctant but the problem is that the dosage i'm on at the moment isn't helping me in the slightest. I feel awful, my self harm's getting worse and suicidal thoughts are racing through my head all the time. I keep planning on heading down to the railway lines and running in front of the next train, finding a rope and hanging my self, jumping from a bridge or building etc.

Increasing my dosage wouldn't be an instant fix but i don't think i'm gonna last much longer if nothing changes. Sure, there's still a chance of me overdosing but i'm more likely to survive that then getting hit full force by a bloody train.


Sorry, i just needed to get that out of my system

[Karkat]

Hah I get that. I've been on a mood stabilizer for forever, but it honestly hasn't helped much the entire time I've been on it. I'm just progressively getting worse and worse, and the only thing they've really done is up the dose occasionally, and at one point tell my mom information without my consent, and recommend she "keep a close eye on me"

Ok so I'm an adult?? I could walk out this door right now, and it's unlikely anyone would come for me. I could walk out this door in a couple months and NO ONE would- they'd have no reason to, I'd be the age of majority.

I mean, how do suicidal adults take their medicine? Do they have to go to their mommies and daddies every time they need to take their daily dose? Of course they don't. They keep track of their own goddamn doses.

I get that I'm living with my mom, and they can technically get away with this bullshit, but it's making me want the help I need, the help I FOUGHT for less and less each day.

(I'll stop there because I'm kinda stealing your rant)

Anyways, I get it. And I also get waiting to up your dose, blah blah, but it can be SO frustrating to wait for results, I feel ya.

[DeadEyes]

They never worked for me, any of them.

[wonderland]

Hah I get that. I've been on a mood stabilizer for forever, but it honestly hasn't helped much the entire time I've been on it. I'm just progressively getting worse and worse, and the only thing they've really done is up the dose occasionally, and at one point tell my mom information without my consent, and recommend she "keep a close eye on me"

Ok so I'm an adult?? I could walk out this door right now, and it's unlikely anyone would come for me. I could walk out this door in a couple months and NO ONE would- they'd have no reason to, I'd be the age of majority.

I mean, how do suicidal adults take their medicine? Do they have to go to their mommies and daddies every time they need to take their daily dose? Of course they don't. They keep track of their own goddamn doses.

I get that I'm living with my mom, and they can technically get away with this bullshit, but it's making me want the help I need, the help I FOUGHT for less and less each day.

(I'll stop there because I'm kinda stealing your rant)

Anyways, I get it. And I also get waiting to up your dose, blah blah, but it can be SO frustrating to wait for results, I feel ya.

That's exactly how i feel
i mean, there's going to come a time where i move out and i'm living on my own. I could move out next year if i really wanted to for Christ sake.
I just wish they would trust me and let me take on a bit more responsibility.
And that whole information without consent, i can't describe how much i hate that. I should be aloud to choose what my mum is told, but nope, they just tell her whatever they want.

They never worked for me, any of them.

I'm sorry to hear that, I guess they don't work for everyone. I personally feel that the first type i took worked better but that could just be because of the higher dosage.

[Karkat]

That's exactly how i feel
i mean, there's going to come a time where i move out and i'm living on my own. I could move out next year if i really wanted to for Christ sake.
I just wish they would trust me and let me take on a bit more responsibility.
And that whole information without consent, i can't describe how much i hate that. I should be aloud to choose what my mum is told, but nope, they just tell her whatever they want.



I'm sorry to hear that, I guess they don't work for everyone. I personally feel that the first type i took worked better but that could just be because of the higher dosage.

I know how that goes D: I'm sorry.