Who else suffered/is suffering from dysfunctional family relationships?

[cookiecrunch]

All through childhood I was always really quiet. I never really talked a whole lot and i was always anxious/worried/angry and I would daydream a lot. 10 years passed and i look back, I still suffer from the same problems. Back then my parents fought/argued a lot and to a point my father came home drunk one time and shot off a gun outside the house. He was always 'the monster under my bed' per say. He's beaten me over and over when i was little. Sometimes he would wake everyone up at midnight just to beat me and my sister. For the life of me I can't ever remember anything wrong I've done to cause any punishment. Because of this, Ive very low self-esteem. I struggle with social activities and i tend to space out at every given moment.

I was reading this article on Wikipedia about dysfunctional famillies and just started to breakdown. I cried because i realize there are others out there that are also going through hell. If you are
, please get some help asap. I know its tough but you're gonna have to keep your chin up.

*note: the 'Examples' section explains signs of dysfunction, also check 'Parenting' and 'Children'
Wikipedia link:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysfunctional_family

[Hyper]

Does not having a father in my life for the first 15-20 years of my life count?

[CosmicNoodle]

*puts hand up* I do.

[cookiecrunch]

Does not having a father in my life for the first 15-20 years of my life count?

Yes I would say so. Without a good male role model/fatherly figure in the family, a child could still say to the world 'they don't understand me'. My father was never there for me so I can relate. And I'm sorry, that must suck. I didn't have that much fatherly love which has partly caused me to always have a hard time fitting in and i always tolerated abuse & discomfort from people no matter how much i hated it. This led to many scuicidal thoughts.

I was always a strange kid.

[Gwen]

I've been though an abusive relationship with my family and it still hasn't ended peacefully even moving into my last years of school. The only thing I wish, is that people who see someone in an obviously uncomfortable or abusive situation with their family would step in. Just someone to say "This isn't right". I think that it is easier to say all families have their drama, rather than say that you're in a dysfunctional family.

[cookiecrunch]

I've been though an abusive relationship with my family and it still hasn't ended peacefully even moving into my last years of school. The only thing I wish, is that people who see someone in an obviously uncomfortable or abusive situation with their family would step in. Just someone to say "This isn't right". I think that it is easier to say all families have their drama, rather than say that you're in a dysfunctional family.

Its like looking at something crooked and asking yourself what's wrong with this picture? People see the struggling homeless and the problem is that its nobody's business to help that person in need. Why do we look away? And i do agree with your statement. All famillies are weird, but this question we should all learn in some form; "who's leading this family?"

They say, be the change you want to see in the world.

[Gwen]

Its like looking at something crooked and asking yourself what's wrong with this picture? People see the struggling homeless and the problem is that its nobody's business to help that person in need. Why do we look away? And i do agree with your statement. All famillies are weird, but this question we should learn in some form; "who's leading this family?"

They say, be the change you want to see in the world.

Very wise indeed :yes: . The reason these families continue all the way through teens to adulthood, is because no one is brave enough to say its wrong or find someone to help. I think it is important to find the difference between a quirk and a problem. It is hard not only for people on the outside to help but for people inside, since a lot of the time they don't know the difference between a normal family and a dysfunctional family. I think there needs to be more awareness and acknowledgement of these problems. Just my opinion though.

[Babs]

My family is very large, dysfunctional and at some points, abusive. It sucks, but you can make it through it.

[cookiecrunch]

Very wise indeed :yes: . The reason these families continue all the way through teens to adulthood, is because no one is brave enough to say its wrong or find someone to help. I think it is important to find the difference between a quirk and a problem. It is hard not only for people on the outside to help but for people inside, since a lot of the time they don't know the difference between a normal family and a dysfunctional family. I think there needs to be more awareness and acknowledgement of these problems. Just my opinion though.

That's so true. Where have you been all my life? Hahaha!
We all grow up in different family environments, culture and values. These practically moulds us into who we are based on how we reacted and acted on/with these factors. You know, a lot of our personality is how we've coped with anxiousness, worries and problems; the very values famillies promote. What happens to our personality if values are home are conflicted/conflicting? Then everybody would be dysfunctional!

[cookiecrunch]

There's a poem i think is very practical that I really like. It goes something like this:

There are hermit souls that live withdrawn In the peace of their self-content; There are souls, like stars, that dwell apart, In a fellowless firmament; There are pioneer souls that blaze their paths Where highways never ran;-But let me live by the side of the road And be a friend to man.

Let me live in a house by the side of the road, Where the race of men go by-The men who are good and the men who are bad, As good and as bad as I. I would not sit in the scorner’s seat, Or hurl the cynic’s ban;-Let me live in a house by the side of the road And be a friend to man.

I see from my house by the side of the road, By the side of the highway of life, The men who press with the ardor of hope, The men who are faint with the strife. But I turn not away from their smiles nor their tears-Both parts of an infinite plan;-Let me live in my house by the side of the road And be a friend to man.

Let me live in my house by the side of the road Where the race of men go by-They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong, Wise, foolish- so am I. Then why should I sit in the scorner’s seat Or hurl the cynic’s ban?-Let me live in my house by the side of the road And be a friend to man.

[Karkat]

My families (first red flag right there) are both pretty dysfunctional.
Well, actually, I take that back. I have one dysfunctional family, and one pristine, idealistic one where I am treated as a rebel and an outsider. So.