crush likes someone else

[Jman437]

I'm in a math degree, and it has lots of girls. However, I recently developed feelings for one particular girl. I've talked to her and I think she liked my first impression of myself, but now she's often hangs around with another guy and she's becoming really close to him, and barely even notices me or even talks to me. We have some of our classes together, but there's another problem: I'm shy and introverted, I'm not that jolly confident guy who everyone likes, and I like being this way, but hell, I hate seeing people withdraw from me because of this. Dammit, I show them that, just because I'm quiet it doesn't mean I'm rejecting them! Now, I have nothing except a freaking huge emotional pain which I'm having a hard time trying to get rid of...

I have another option, though: forget all about this(since relationships are just a glove that never fitted) and focus on my math degree, because it's the only thing that's going to pay my bills in the future. If I try and pursue this, I'll probably end up losing both. This is the option I'll most certainly follow, it won't be easy, but dammit, I tried too much times and it didn't work(I know that it can change in the future, but believing that is like winning the lottery: it can happen, but you're screwed if you count on it...)

[sweetcake]

It all comes down to you, if you're looking for something serious you have to fight to get her. But the way I see it, you aren't that into her, because when you really fall in love, you'll know. So I don't think she's worth the effort.
And for the introvert part-you need to get out of your comfort zone once in awhile, there has to be another quiet person in your classes, sit with them or say hi. Who knows? You could turn out to have a lot of things in common

[Pacaveli]

Honestly, giving up will NOT make her feel bad or want to engage in a relationship with you. You need to make her feel like you're the only one that can satisfy her needs. But, if I were you, I'd focus on the school and bills more then a woman.

[Laraa.01]

If you want this to end well for you you're going to have to come out of your shell and make an effort for this girl. Confident guys know what to say and do to get a girl to like them and date them. If you stay the shy introvert your chances against this new guy are pretty damn slim.

[sweetcake]

I don't know Lara.. He should still stay true to himself, sit next to her in class or group up with her on an assignment-and other small stuff. Then, if she still has no interest, leave her be. There's nothing wrong with your shyness, it just takes the right person to like you for who you are. So be patient

[Jman437]

It all comes down to you, if you're looking for something serious you have to fight to get her. But the way I see it, you aren't that into her, because when you really fall in love, you'll know. So I don't think she's worth the effort.
And for the introvert part-you need to get out of your comfort zone once in awhile, there has to be another quiet person in your classes, sit with them or say hi. Who knows? You could turn out to have a lot of things in common


Honestly, giving up will NOT make her feel bad or want to engage in a relationship with you. You need to make her feel like you're the only one that can satisfy her needs. But, if I were you, I'd focus on the school and bills more then a woman.


If you want this to end well for you you're going to have to come out of your shell and make an effort for this girl. Confident guys know what to say and do to get a girl to like them and date them. If you stay the shy introvert your chances against this new guy are pretty damn slim.


I don't know Lara.. He should still stay true to himself, sit next to her in class or group up with her on an assignment-and other small stuff. Then, if she still has no interest, leave her be. There's nothing wrong with your shyness, it just takes the right person to like you for who you are. So be patient


Well, I am that into her, but if she's constantly hanging around another guy and explicitly showing that "she wants his D", fighting for her is a lost cause...

I'm gonna stay true to myself. Yes, I will adapt myself to her, but I won't change who I am. I will not turn from an introverted guy to a confident SoB just because everyone likes it. Of course there's lots of good things about the latter, but one can adopt certain traits of it without forgetting about the qualities of his own personality. Not that I hate confidence, I'm neither insecure nor extremely confident(my confidence is average), but I just freaking hate when people basically tell me to "stop being myself" or force me to be another guy just to get the girl. I'm NOT as confident as a lion, but I don't think confidence is everything someone should look for in a partner. If someone is a loving, caring, kind, sensitive person, not being confident as a lion is the LEAST of his/her problems! I get it, confident people are cool to hang around with, but that doesn't mean we should "destroy all introverts"! xD
People often get guided by their own instincts and don't filter out the bad things of it(using logic), but that's another discussion for another day. I will stay true to myself, I will be the introverted, shy type(this doesn't mean I'm not going to talk to them, since this is the (stupidly wrong) idea people have of shy, introverted people xD), and if she doesn't want me, fuck it! There are MILLIONS of other much better choices that happen to like introverts!

If I had to choose between a relationship with her and a job after I graduate, I'd choose the job. I will always put my degree in front of women. Call me nerd, stupid virgin, whatever you want, but women won't be paying my bills 10 years from now.

[sweetcake]

Well said! You basically just answered your own question. :D

[Mates5inch]

She will come to you if it's right, if she doesn't then it was never meant to be

[Jman437]

Well said! You basically just answered your own question. :D

I mean, I have all the facts right, but I don't know how to separate emotion from reason. Whenever I think of giving up on this, I "hear" a voice calling me a loser, and I feel like it... I mean, I can live by myself perfectly fine, but there's a huge void in me, just that. I feel the need to have someone by my side...

[sweetcake]

Naww:( I sometimes feel the same way.. But to me at the end of the day, I don't want that someone to be just anyone. I want them to want me as me. Am I making any sense here? Sorry just had a huge test. My minds still fuzzy lol

And not having someone doesn't make you a loser.

[Jman437]

Naww:( I sometimes feel the same way.. But to me at the end of the day, I don't want that someone to be just anyone. I want them to want me as me. Am I making any sense here? Sorry just had a huge test. My minds still fuzzy lol

And not having someone doesn't make you a loser.

Me neither. I want them to like me for me, of course. And it's not that I feel like a loser, I just feel unwanted, like there's something wrong with me, which makes me feel bad...

[sweetcake]

I'm sure nothing's wrong with you:)
The right person will come in time. Be patient.

[sieg]

well, math is evil in general so i'd steer clear of that. On the thought of your crush, what have you really got to lose by just asking her?
The worst she can say is no. But you may never know because she could say yes! You should stay confident in yourself, im sure you're a very handsome gentleman that ladies find irresistable and THEY are just too shy themselves to ask you out. Keep your chin up, champ!

[Jman437]

well, math is evil in general so i'd steer clear of that. On the thought of your crush, what have you really got to lose by just asking her?
The worst she can say is no. But you may never know because she could say yes! You should stay confident in yourself, im sure you're a very handsome gentleman that ladies find irresistable and THEY are just too shy themselves to ask you out. Keep your chin up, champ!

Thank you for your kind words, dude! :b
But I mean, it makes me feel bad seeing them "run away" from me and go talk to other guys, and it happens all the time.... I'm not the most talkative person ever, but I can keep a conversation going(I don't talk a lot, I talk in "bursts". Do you those video game bosses who have a certain weak spot where you can concentrate most of your attacks? I need something like that in a conversation, I can't start one out of the blue.), but they don't seem to want to talk to me and I feel pressured to try and keep it going... I mean, dammit, am I that uninteresting and boring? What's wrong with me? I mean, yeah sure I have some confidence in myself, but it has always been like this with girls...